Crossdressing for everyone .

[Miel GG]

Thank you for the date, Miel. I suspected it was around the turn of the century, before the Great War anyway (which my father fought in), but I couldn't be sure about the fashion. That cute little hat for instance: so very chic and modern looking for the time; I wasn't sure if it was more 1920s.

The hat is a "canotier". This summer hat of French mariners (male of course !) was initially weared by sportsmen, and at the end of XIXe century by sportswomen (for biking, riding, hunting).

I do wonder though whether any women actually were arrested, prosecuted or fined for wearing trousers in Paris. I read somewhere that under this statute, women could still wear trousers if they obtained permission from local police. Somehow I can't imagine a gallant Parisian flic refusing permission to a jolie Mademoiselle or Madame to wear whatever she liked!

It seems difficult for you to admit that Parisian women could suffer from the previous law. For a formal standpoint, it is however clear that women and men weren't treated equally, because there was no such law against men transvestite. Being under legal punishment is far more violent than suffering from social shaming (for Parisian men). It constitutes a strong warning and a perfect way to socially control women (it reminds her who's the boss / the clothes worn by the bosses symbolized the power).

Sadly the archives from Parisian police concerning the requests and authorizations for female transvestites weren't well preserved. It seems that only few women (less than 60) have asked for a permission during the XIXe century, before or after being arrested (they usually had to stay in prison for 5 days and had to pay a fine). The authorizations granted mainly concerned 'masculine' women (i.e. beard women) or eventually women working in a male sector (i.e. house painter). And a few high society ladies (1806 : Melle Mayer, for riding a horse / 1890 : Melle Boullanger, because she was the mistress of Napoleon the 3rd), artists (1890 : Rosa Bonheur, from the famous theater 'La Comedie francaise', for hunting), or women who decided to transvestite to succeed in business (1830, Mlle Foucaud. I really love her story : she was a printing company worker, paid 2.5 francs per job. She learned that the same job was paid 4 francs in the male workshop, so she asked her boss to work with the men. Of course the printing company owner refused, arguing that male and female cannot work together in the same workshop. So she quit. But she cut her hair, put on a trousers and began a few days later to work as a men in the male workshop. As she was well paid, she saved money and bought some houses in the Parisian suburbs that she rented to ragmen).

For the anecdote, in 1895, Louis Lepine, the Parisian Prefect, fought against the idea of allowing the trousers for women bikers because he wanted to preserve 'the sexual attraction' of women. Argh. But, from the late nineteenth century onwards, feminists have regularly demanded to suppress this law... We unfortunately have few archives for the requests during the XXe century. But French society tended to became more concerned about homophobia after WW2 than about women transvestism.

I wouldn't have guessed you were French. Your English is virtually flawless, and I didn't attach any significance to "Miel" (Honey). It's the same word in Spanish anyway.

Thanks for the compliment. A few years ago I used to work in an European environment so I had to speak English. But it is way more difficult to express myself about feelings and intimate thoughts in a foreign langage !

Obviously you love foreign langages. Did you learn or teach French or Spanish ?

I'm sorry you feel so negative about life as a woman. A number of women have been taught to feel the same way today. Maybe you've had an unlucky life? Some people do, men and women both. My mother was always so happy to be a woman. She told me "I'd hate to be a man. Look at the awful things men have to do!" As I've mentioned in another post, my father fought in that war alongside your countrymen to help drive the invaders out of your homeland. He was gassed, temporarily blinded, and came out of it with shrapnel in his leg. Luckily he made a full recovery and went on to live a healthy life. Many men were not so lucky, and ended up crippled or dead. I realize of course that most men in these better days are not called upon to fight wars (unless they volunteer), though many have been in the past. But men still do most of the dirty, hard, and dangerous jobs. I just think there's far too much propaganda around encouraging everyone to think "women are hard done by," and whipping up needless resentment and conflict. It doesn't make anyone happier. Nobody's life is perfect, and men's complaints don't get the same public airing that women's complaints do.

First, I must thank your father for fighting alongside us and I am sorry he was injured. My grandfather was injured during the infamous battle of Verdun (gassed, shrapnel in his lung too). He was a lucky one, 160 000 French soldiers died during this battle.

Secondly, you are right, both men and women could be unlucky. My life is rather good compared to many of us. But because of my sex at birth, society and individuals always remind me that I am (just) a woman. I posted in another thread a link to a TEDx about gender equality because I found the talk relevant. I don't know if you've seen it. To make things short, in a patriarchal society, male/men stand symbolically for neutral (this is an unconscious bias for most of us). Therefore in such a society people are defined by a variation/difference from that 'neutral'. Because of this bias, we unconsciously confused human with man, and therefore woman is at first a gender variation from the neutral male and not simply another human. The same mechanism leads in an occidental society to consider that Caucasian is neutral, and people from other ethnies are first defined by their skin color (not white)... I don't know if I am making myself clear, but this mechanism explains why we see the gender of a woman before the person herself.

You must understand and accept that the life experience of a woman is deeply different just because her sex at birth.

I will give you 3 examples from my personal life.

- When I was 5, I still remember feeling the injustice of being compelled to stay calm, of not being allowed to make sommersaults in the grass like male cousins because 'I had to present clean and pretty. I could ruin my dress.' (said my mother). I also began to feel angry because my cousins continued to play when I had to set the table, do the dishes, ... That is the moment I truly realized that my sex made a difference and because of that I had less freedom.

Nobody had taught me anything about feminism at this time !

- When I was a student, I took the subway every day. Of course we all were squeezed against each other like canned sardines. Several times a man took this opportunity to touch my back (or more). It was deeply humiliating but I never said anything. I used to jump from the wagon and wait for the next subway. I never told anybody of these abuses. I never complained to my mother, my friends, even my boyfriend. Why ? Just because I was ashamed and felt guilty. I never thought the other girls around me endured the same. I have understood retrospectively that I had embodied that as a girl/woman in a public space I would always be a sexual prey, that nobody could change that fact and that I had to endure and shut up.

I surely would have liked to be told at this time that those male behaviors weren't acceptables ! That I had done nothing wrong. I would have been reassured if I knew they were stalkers who could be punished.

- Your statement 'Somehow I can't imagine a gallant Parisian flic refusing permission to a jolie Mademoiselle or Madame to wear whatever she liked!' remembered me a nasty moment of my life.
When I was 30, the VP of the company I worked for told me one day that I had to put a short skirt the next day (I had an appointement with a male representant of the EU to obtain funds). He was not joking. It was terrible. However, in that moment, I had the guts to respond that it was not even an option.

I surely can write a book about sexism. But my GG sisters too. We all experienced more or less the same things, sadly. I encourage you to have a talk with your SO, daughter, sister, aunt, ... about what kind of sexism and gender discrimination they endure. Men really have to listen to women.

Thirdly, I cannot agree with your statement 'But men still do most of the dirty, hard, and dangerous jobs'. You probably are aware that women were for a long time not allowed to became soldiers, even if they wanted to (remember that they painfully succeeded to convince military officers that female nurses could be helpful on the battlefield).

In our contemporary world, the notion of dirty, hard and dangerous has to be updated. For example, dirty, emotionally stressful and physically hard is the job of billions of women taking care of aged persons, sick people or children. Ergonomics studies show that female jobs are very often harder and more stressful than we imagine : supermarket cashiers (mostly female) have musculoskeletal diseases for example. Etc.

Of course, the men are complaining too. Just a mention of a recent disease : burn out concerns a lot of managers, and managers are more often male than female...

If you are interested, I can give you references of studies about women's occupational health.

Wow, I wrote a lot. I am tired !