It seems that the dam has burst and there's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube if I may just mix my metaphors.
Today I went out again. This time I left home overtly dressed, nothing covered up and set off. I was wearing a knee length denim skirt, opaque tights, boots, and a waterproof jacket to keep out the weather. I drove for about 10 minutes or so and parked on a quiet suburban street just off from the town moor. The weather was cool, dull, grey and threatening to rain. I got out of the car, pulled my hood up and set off walking down the street.
After 100 yards or so there was a male dog walker coming towards me on the same side of the road. We got nearer to each other and passed by. He was quickly followed by a female dog walker and we, passed. Again, nothing. A couple of cars passed by. I could see a couple of hundred yards ahead of me there were two fire engines attending an incident. Not an emergency, there were no flashing lights. They'd probably been there for days. They had that air about them. I had to cross the road to get past and as I walked past them, a fireman got our from the front fire engine, walked back along and then got into the second one. He didn't pay me any heed.
I continued for another couple of hundred yards and approached a parked car, facing me. As I got nearer I could hear the engine running. It was probably somebody parked up having lunch or making a phone call. The person in the car would have been able to watch as I approached and as I passed and yet he didn't look up, or take any obvious regard. Next, a footpath joined from the left, I could see a couple, mid twenties, approaching and we passed as they reached the pavement. As we passed he leant to his girlfriend and probably said "That was a man" but they contined on their way, didn't say anything, didn't stop, didn't look around.
And I contiued on to the end of the road, by now I was about half a mile away from the car. It had started raining.
I walked along to where this road joined the main road and set off back down and parallel to the way I'd come. There were cars approaching me and passing. Nothing happened. I approached a set of traffic lights, and walked along the line of stationary traffic as I walked towards them. Nothing happened. There was a man waiting to cross from the other side. I walked across and behind him and he probably didn't even know that anyone was there. I continued down the road and passed a house where two workmen were on scaffolding. Nothing happened.
I was walking along the pavement of the main road and traffic was constantly driving both ways. Nobody beeped their horn, nobody flashed their lights. I got the bottom and turned back. My adventure had to come to and end, but I had about half a mile to get back to where I had parked the car. On the way back I had to pass a larger building site where they are constructing several houses. The security guard was sat in his booth, probably bored. Most of the men were concerned about getting a large digger from a low loader.
After about half an hour I was back at the car. I got back in and drove back home.
The whole way round the loop I took, was, according to my Ornance Survey app 1.2 miles. I walked past probably about 30 - 40 people. There would have been well over 100 cars pass by in both directions, and nothing happened.
Well, one thing happened. I had a grin on my face. I was loving every minute of it. For the first time in my life I was dressed, outside in daylight among real people. This is how I was meant to be.
What I have come to realise over the past week, isn't that the hardest thing to do is to go outside the door, it's to make that chnage in your head, to develop a new mindset, that says, I want to wear a skirt, I want to wear a skirt outside, so I going to do just that.
I know that there will always be risks with this. I'll have to face name calling and such like, I know that I will, but hey, it's their problem, because as today told me, for any one person who may have a problem with it, there are hundreds of others who just don't care. And you know what, I might be the first person like me that they've ever seen and I think that there are more positives in that than negatives. And, as I know that it will happen, I'm on the way to being prepared when it does.
What I've also decided is that I need a knitted hat, a knitted scarf, some gloves, and a better bag. I'll also get myself a new coat when I find the right one. These are all things that I haven't needed until now, but now I do. And. I'm also going to get myself a really feminine umbrealla, probably one of those clear plastic ones. I've always liked them