Tracii, you are totally wrong about gender fluid being a mood change. I have posted a switch and it really is the brain switch that may come from physical activity. or bio activity. Not at all a mood thing. where did you ever get that thought?
Tracii, you are totally wrong about gender fluid being a mood change. I have posted a switch and it really is the brain switch that may come from physical activity. or bio activity. Not at all a mood thing. where did you ever get that thought?
Part Time Girl
Dana I never said anything about gender fluid.
Some CD's talk about a switch turning on when the get their make up on or when they put their wig on.
Some CD's have a hard time trying to understand the reality of it all and where they fit in the grand scheme of things.
What activities have you been engaged in when you have had a switch?
Whats the difference between a physical activity and a bio activity?
Everybody has moods and the effects of those have a lot to do with what a person does.
Last edited by Tracii G; 07-10-2017 at 11:41 PM.
First if you envy a transgender person, you haven't got a clue what it is like. And they are all different. Gender fluid has been used to describe me. I represent as a guy at work and live as a transgender person the rest of the time. No matter what I'm wearing I'm the same person. I'm out. Im comfortable in whatever I'm wearing. I'm also BI, but only date guys right now, although that almost changed the other night at karaoke. They are just labels. I'm eather very free or crazy.
Roberta feminism as it is being portrayed in the news right now isn't real feminism its man hating.
Every company I have worked for for the past 45 years paid the women the same as the men for the same job.
Equality of the sexes thats funny men and women are already equal under the law.
So with all things being equal if a woman hits a man in anger he has the right to fight back in self defense right?
You tube is full of videos of girls getting their butts kicked because they hit a guy and weren't expecting the guy to hit back in self defense.
Hows that for equal treatment ?
No woman I know personally wants anything to do with the feminism of today.
They want to be treated with respect just like any one else.I think thats fair.
And no I am not a misogynist or a homophobe nor do I have male privilege so don't go there.
Last edited by Tracii G; 07-11-2017 at 04:02 AM.
You didn't make me mad at all, I appreciate your honesty and point of view. You make some good points. I did have pretty homophobic upbringing and I still am affected by it, it seems. I hate homophobia though! I just repress it in myself I guess.
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Yeah yknow I've thought about that before... and it sounds highly appealing to me actually. But unfortunately I'm scared the people in my life will not approve... >.>
I think most guys have been brought up in a homophobic environment its just the way society is for the most part.
I call out people here for being homophobic all the time and yes we have a few of them here.
Being afraid of what the family will think is a common fear so you are not alone with that feeling.
Last edited by Tracii G; 07-11-2017 at 04:12 AM.
Interesting, you're right. I shouldn't worry what others think.. But I do worry what others think... Although it's not the public I'm too concerned about, it's my gf, friends and family I'm worried about what they would think. Can't let any of. them know... >.> (except my gf)
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thanks hun... Yeesh maybe ur right about that professional thing. But I wonder how much that would cost.. lol aforementioned I am poor.
Also, nice signature!
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Thank you SO much for your heartfelt reply, tearing up a little here. Wait ... "there are many who have sexual preferences that shift with their identity"? Oh thank God! I thought I was alone in this. Why didnt anyone tell me?! Your making sense to me girl... your right labels wont change anything... maybe i should just give up on labels and find peace that way. gah I feel so much more enlightened after reading this thread, but yet still so confused. Maybe yall are right about that professional help idea... I guess after reading this thread... I feel like being gender fluid sounds like it might be right for me... .I could see myself switching back between the two genders that sounds amazing to me. Although here's my next problem... I still have friends and family and an SO who are all pretty in the dark about this. I don't know... what do I do? Just say 'sup guys, so Im a girl today'? What would my next step be?
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Yeah, I know it's a tough road as Louis said in the quote I posted. I am well aware they are not without their own problems. I just envy them in that one regard.
Yeah I suppose I could be considered bi too lol. But your right, those are just labels. Free and crazy!? now those are some labels I can get behind.
Last edited by drEdge; 07-11-2017 at 04:44 AM.
It's more about being comfortable in our own skin than anything else. Taking ownership of our feelings and making them work for us should be our ultimate goal.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Sorry hon, there are no easy answers to what you're going through, and nobody else can really answer them for you. You'll have to find your own course.
That said - by all means listen to the advice the other girls in here give you. You don't have to take any of it, but there is a lot of experience out there, and much of what they have to say could be helpful for you.
now for my two cents' worth...
Don't waste time in self-loathing and shame. Those are feelings you impose on yourself for not meeting what you believe are the expectations of others. I know it's tough, but you need to accept that you are exactly who you were meant to be.
being "trans" isn't something you do, it's something you are. Taking the path to body transformation is a very big step, and only to be taken by those who are positive that there is no other option. From what little I've read so far, it doesn't look like you're there yet - and might never be. That's OK too.
Tracii, there are extreme members that accociate with most groups. Just because you have never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because you have seen some glorified man hating extremism doesn't define feminism for everyone. Look up the video from the male students in Australia called 'why feminism is important to me'. For example there is still pride all over our country even though we won the right for them to get married. There is still many people in this country that think they are superior to the LGBT community. It's the same way with sexism and racism. So yes I'm a feminist because it is still happening in our society, other society's, the work place, and even in private places. Not witnessing something or experiencing something personally does not disprove it. It's okay if you disagree hun, I'm not here to make you change your mind, just describing my reason for being a male feminist.
We were down this road about a month ago. I am a feminist. I am transgender. I disagree with the notion that you need to be female to be feminist.
Back to the original post, I love Louis CK but I don't think all trans folks have it all figured out. I certainly don't. I applaud Louis' thought though anyways.
Feminism breaks down into several issues, some that I don't agree with and others I do. But that's a different topic for a different forum and different website.
But this thread is getting very interesting. It becomes clear that we're all different and there are many aspects to this whole gender/transgender thing. We all have to deal with it in our own way because there's too much involved.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Yes Ressie the gender spectrum is not a one size fits all thing.
There are so many differences between us all it is very hard to understand at times.
Roberta everywhere I look at womens marches its nothing but extremist types whether its on you tube ,TV, or even the local womens march back at the first of the year.
Several of us were going to go join the march here locally and we were yelled at and called vile names by the women.
They sure didn't want LGBT people there that was obvious.
There are plenty of TG/MtF CDers that feel they have a female side so automatically think they are feminists.
Steering the thread back toward topic... I can add nothing to what Sara has said. Be kind to yourself. Depending on where you live, low or no cost counseling may be readily available. That will help you sort things more easily.
My feminism is not automatically derived from my femme side. It comes from my heart.
I don't know if I'm a CD or trans. I have only ever had girlfriends but recently I have been fantasizing about guys.
I guess what I have is more of 'girl envy' than 'trans envy'.
I appreciate Louis CK in the positive message he offers in that quote. It's unfortunate that he's looking at a pretty small sample, probably at those who fully transition and end up happy. There are a much larger number of us who are still working on finding out what is wrong, and possibly more important, what is right with us. Once we decide that accepting our individual take on gender is right and not wrong, it's a big step forward.
While I consider myself under the Trans umbrella, there are different bits and pieces that fit better than others and I'm still attempting to get a good handle on it. This is a current attempt to make sense of how I feel and what I need to do. It's just a theory and there are problems with it, but I try to parse out the major components of what bothers me. It seems in my arena of gender there are two pieces; Gender Dysphoria or the mental disconnect between how I feel and how I want to behave and see myself, and Body Dysphoria, or how discontented I am having a male body that doesn't match the feminine gender I often need to express. I think I have a stronger case of Gender Dysphoria than Body Dysphoria, so my self medication is primarily dressing and attitude, with less of an interest in hormones or eventual surgery. Does that make any sense at all?
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Sarah good points and it proves there is no one size fits all answer.
Body dysphoria is what bothers me the most because my male body does not match how I feel inside and its frustrating to say the least.
Louie has made numerous remarks over the years, suggesting that he has had some gender/sexuality issues going on.
That said, figuring it all out doesn't necessarily make for a resolution to all the problems that exist, as he seems to think. Our mental health professions usually give us the impression that if we work out all our problems and understand why we feel the way we do, we'll get cured of everything and feel better. Nothing could be further from the truth. All they can promise, is that we MIGHT understand ourselves better, and be better able to deal with the situation we are in, and, become productive members of society instead of say, sitting in a dark corner feeling sorry for ourselves.
Consider the huge number of crossdressers who aren't attracted to men. We're stuck; we don't want anything sexually to do with men, and the number of women who want anything to do with us, is statistically insignificant; you can practically count them on a couple of hands, but there are MILLIONS of US. So, what to do? They have no answer for us.
Same thing with the TS folks. Sure, they have figured out who and what they are. But is there really a solution? How many of the soon to be opposite sex will actually accept them as mates? How many will suffer the loss of employment, family, and friends? Even loss of housing?
Louis conveniently forgets about all that.
Because we're not actually being women. We're imagining only the good stuff.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Oh God. You hit the nail on the head thats for sure...
So for those of us who are into women... are we just doomed to live in secrecy? Or to find a woman who loves us enough to tolerate us? That's the best we can do?
Your post is kinda bleak yknow that? :P
Yeah you're right. That's one of the reasons why right now I'm questioning my gender identity. I feel like gender fluid or bigender might describe me, but I also realize that my fantasy is just a small aspect of being a woman. . .
Louis CK's quote is from his comedy routine. He's talking about a post-op TS that knew he/she was a female at age 6. "that guy jeff, he's a woman now". Anyway, this is where the word transgender gets confusing thanks to the media. Does transgender equal transexual? If so, why did a new word have to be coined with the same meaning?
So what he's really talking about is transexuals that fix their situation with SRS. Since this is the crossdresser forum, we don't fit into that group. Some of us have considered that we might be transexual and most of us know we aren't. We are somewhere under the TG umbrella yet if a part time CD (in male mode) says that they're transgender it isn't understood.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder