Well the cats out of the bag now lol there is one thing that bugs me is that they say were lying to them when most of us lie to everyone we know and to ourselves they act like most of us are proud to have to keep it from them i'm pretty sure that they have things that they had not told us so is that the same as they're lying to us also ?
A little advice and an observation: if this is all a fairly recent development, do not assume anything. Your wife is very likely still processing the new reality. She may not involve you in her deliberations, and these may go on for months, even years. Try to have input into her processing by offering to talk, particularly about her feelings and the fears underlying them.
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