I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties and I wish you both the best of luck in resolving this issue.
I'm in a similar situation. Married for 23 years with 4 children. I did not tell my wife until after 20 years of marriage. She did not take it well. She refuses to talk about it at all and will not see a therapist. Two years ago my job moved and I moved with it, though my wife and teenage children stayed behind. I'd go home on weekends, but we pretty much live apart. She has now known for almost 3 years about my feelings/beliefs. However, after a year of "separation" and learning to be me, I decided last year that I really wanted/needed to transition. Again she refuses to discuss it, actually leaving the room we're in and once leaving the house to avoid talking about it.
After I told her my intention of transitioning, she wrote me a 9 page letter expressing her thoughts and feelings - all negative. As Kim said, it's really the reaction one should expect and I knew most of it was coming, other than some of the more cruel and hurtful comments (though she's never seen Jenna). I thought I was prepared mentally (not emotionally) but I knew what to expect. And the Ultimatum came with it. So I put Jenna back in the closet - the closet that's in the basement, behind the furnace and concreted up a wall in front of it.
Needless to say for me, it didn't work, much to my emotional and financial detriment - Drinking, gambling, depression, suicidal thoughts. I'd given up Jenna, given up therapy, stopped HRT (had only been on E for a month), given up friends and I was killing myself. I knew what I had to do. Jenna had to be resurrected.
We live apart, when I go "home" to visit, Jenna goes in the closet, though I'm on HRT and my developing A cup breasts are impossible to hide from a wife, she says nothing, still refusing to discuss the issue. I know divorce is in the future, though it won't be my choice. When she's had enough, she'll be the one to file for divorce and I'm certain, there will be lots of tears.
Thanks for bearing with my story. For you I hope you can resolve the issue. Maybe you can bury Natasha and live without distress - I hope so. The happy stories are few and far between. But as Kim said, what can we realy expect of our wives. They certainly didn't marry a man, hoping some day he'd want to become a woman and they could be lesbian lovers. It could happen, but NOT in my life.
Best wishes and Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,
Jenna