Help, wife isn’t accepting

[Zoeytgtx]

Just think you are pushing a little too hard here with you wife. How long has she known about your dressing? Your short description seems to imply she's ok with you underdressing but anything obviously feminine on the outside will freak her out. Think you need to keep it within the present borders and give her a chance to catch up. Any possibility you could go out alone, if that's what you need to do?

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm basically in a DADT, but my wife tolerates me going out with the gurls once a month or so.

Other than that, it's hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

She hasn't seen any of my clothes, never mind me wearing them.

I once wore a pair of loose workout capris in burgundy. Except for the length, I thought they were pretty male, but not male enough for her.

Sara, look for some red ones; they might be acceptable. Or what about white cotton. I really like my Hanes white cotton (panty) briefs. I even wore them openly in the locker room at the gym. OK, I didn't strut around in them, but I didn't hide them either.

[tasidevil]

Wives vary across the board in their acceptance. 20% will never accept (based on surveys), maybe 10% will fully accept and the rest vary all between. This article may help you understand their feelings https://www.sisterhouse.net/familyro...-you/#post-615. Trying to involve them more is usually not workable and could lead to more resentment, but it helps when they understand who you really are. You need to listen to what they say https://www.sisterhouse.net/library/...=3&archive=yes. My wife allows but prefers not to see so I minimize her exposure. Occasionally she'll comment on my dress, not always favorably. We have reached an unspoken agreement of what she is comfortable with and what she is not. I fully dress in public, she knows, but I go with friends and keep it away from her

[Tina_gm]

I get the feeling you are possibly pushing too hard.
Some women have a limit and she seems to have a bra and panties hose limit.
If all you talk about is crossdressing maybe she is tired of hearing about what YOU want and not what she wants.
Maybe she doesn't want to be forced into participating in all of this?
How would you feel if she wanted to dress like a man and have you put on her hair piece or fake beard?
Force you to talk all about how she wants to dress and act like a man.Pretty sure you would get tired of that pretty quickly.
I'm just guessing but I have seen lots of posts here over the years that sounded a lot like this one and the guys were pushing too hard.

They are pushing too hard, and that mostly that wives and other partners don't really have anything much to actually do. They are basically just bystanders. Heterosexual women are never going to find it exciting or a turn on. At best they just won't mind it, but as goes their sexuality, they will likely find it to be a turn off.

Many of us just have to realize there isn't anything in it for them, and they can't really even participate other than to be around and give you tips or pointers I guess. a wife is generally not going to find a lot of enjoyment interacting with their husband similarly as they would to their daughter, or a niece or perhaps a younger sister, giving them tips on how to properly dress or to do make up and all that. Women don't generally spend a lot of time with each other just to dress and get all glammed up. Girls nights really aren't about that, even if they do get all glammed up to go out to a club or something.

What I am trying to add to what tracii is saying is that besides trying too hard, realize that there really isn't anything for them in this. They are just spectators mostly, and watching their husband dress as a woman is likely not a fun thing to spectate.

[Trione]

Well I started with panties and hose and wife didn't quite get it but was OK as long as I was reassuring that My love was only for her. We would go shopping and after a few month of DADT she made the statement of that would look cute on you. She always loved her lingerie and here she is tell me that this teddie would look good on me.. She was the type that wanted a sexy nightie before a nice dress. After a while we shopped lingerie together and we always made a point of tell the SA if we were looking for her or something that would look nice on me. I did all my CD at home and never went out for a number of reasons. I was a sometime CD and didn't push it on her but there were nights she would tell me to put on a nice gown so we could cuddle by the fireplace and enjoy our wine.

[karenph]

They are pushing too hard, and that mostly that wives and other partners don't really have anything much to actually do. They are basically just bystanders. Heterosexual women are never going to find it exciting or a turn on. At best they just won't mind it, but as goes their sexuality, they will likely find it to be a turn off.

Many of us just have to realize there isn't anything in it for them, and they can't really even participate other than to be around and give you tips or pointers I guess. a wife is generally not going to find a lot of enjoyment interacting with their husband similarly as they would to their daughter, or a niece or perhaps a younger sister, giving them tips on how to properly dress or to do make up and all that. Women don't generally spend a lot of time with each other just to dress and get all glammed up. Girls nights really aren't about that, even if they do get all glammed up to go out to a club or something.

What I am trying to add to what tracii is saying is that besides trying too hard, realize that there really isn't anything for them in this. They are just spectators mostly, and watching their husband dress as a woman is likely not a fun thing to spectate.

Well stated Gendermutt...I think you summed it up nicely. Your characterization is an accurate description of my wife.

[IleneD]

...You need to listen to what they say https://www.sisterhouse.net/library/...=3&archive=yes.

I concur with Tasi. The SisterHouse website provided good answers for my wife. I give her full credit for at least trying to do her research and homework on the matter of crossdressing. She told me she actually Googled "men who want to be women", and came up with all sorts of pro/con CD and TG stuff. What she drew out of her own research was that this CD thing is REAL. It isn't going away (at least not on it's own). And that the preferred and recommended treatment for "the disorder" (I hate it when they call it a disorder or disease), is to LET THE CROSSDRESSER DRESS. It's the best therapy.

Sometimes having her do her own independent research on the topic of crossdressing men is the best answer. She can discover her own answers.