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Outed myself... to an SA
I usually make online purchases but this last weekend I was feeling adventurous & decided to buy a few pairs of pantyhose at one of the big department stores in town.
Was planning on using a self-service checkout stand but the lines were long so I figured what the heck & went straight to one of the cashiers instead.
My heart was pounding & I felt dizzy because I didn't have any other items - just the hose. I was on an adrenaline rush.
The minute I placed them on the counter, my cell phone rang. I could have just answered the call & let the SA ring up my purchase in silence but instead I blurted out "Sorry, I need to answer this. Can I leave MY pantyhose here for a sec?"
When I nervously returned to her till, she flat-out said "If these pantyhose really are yours, do yourself a favor & don't wear the linen shade... that color doesn't flatter anyone!"
The blood was rushing in my ears but I heard myself stammer "Thanks. I won't. At least not out of the house".
I've replayed that transaction a thousand times in my head & still can't believe that I outed myself to a complete stranger.
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Believe it!
It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be was it?
Sami
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It does get easier. I've only found a few SAs that have a hard time with men buying women's stuff fro themselves.
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OMG, that's hoot!
I remember when I was a kid, riding my bike miles from my house with pocket change and a few crumpled bills, buying pantyhose at a party store. I don't think I said anything, nor anything was said to me. I just remember being real nervous.
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Cecily,
Don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes.
Besides, since it was to a stranger, You'll never see her again & no long term ramifications.
AND you got some great fashion advice.
Hugs, Connie
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I was buying a dress when someone behind said pretty it was and wanted to know if it fit me. I said yes and it will go with the heels I just bought. I was in drab. I just don't care anymore.
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I have been there and done exactly that. I went back and got the pantyhose in the right shade that is still my favorite 37 years later.
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It's ok, most SA's now a days don't bat an eye. If they have a problem with it, most don't show it. Hey, money is money, they just want the sale.
Just be calm and yourself, I know it's hard at first but it does get better.
Love,
Joan
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I really don´t have the guts to do it. At least not yet.
At the same time, I envy who do it! So, congratulations!!
Cheers
Patricia
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I had a similar experience in the hosiery department at Macy’s. Not the first time, but the second time, the SA recognized me with a nice smile. She, too made recommendations about brands and colors. She recommended Hanes Silk Reflections, Barely There. She was wearing them and showed me. I agreed and bought both pantyhose and thigh highs. When she handed me the bag, she said she hoped I’d enjoy them. I smiled and answered “I’m sure I will”. Ooops..I’m out, but I didn’t care. Of course, I made more visits.
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I'm sure that SA has already forgotten all about you. She did give good advice on colors though.
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I have no problem telling an SA that fem items are for me. In fact it feels good! Of course it took many transactions throughout the years to feel this at ease about it. I never say anything normally but I don't get nervous about making purchases. But if the cashier decides to make small talk saying something about buying something for my wife, I just say, "no, it's for me". I like to see their reaction at that point!
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Sounds like an insignificant purchase to me.
Not one easily remembered.
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I mentioned this once before, but I think it fits here. I had a number of items on the line at Walmart, including some earrings at the end. The cashier got to them and asked, "Are these yours, too?"
With that she turned beet red and stammered something about she actually meant to ask if they were among my purchases.
I got her off the hook by saying that they were among the things I was buying.
She didn't know how true she was.
I don't care when I buy femme items. I don't apologize. Most of the time I don't say a word about them. Afterall, I don't say a word about the other items I buy. And most cashiers are too busy trying to ring up the sales to actually care about what I'm buying.
Now, when I need to try on an item, that's a whole other story.
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Tell the sa it's for a wood working project. After sanding, you lightly rub the freshly sanded surface with them and if the pantyhose don't snag, the wood is perfectly sanded.
Jon
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You might as well be straight with an SA or cashier. For one, you are probably never going to see them again. Not to mention that unless it's their first day on the job, you are not the first guy (or the last) to buy woman's clothes from them.
You never know they may give you some good advice or tell you about an up coming sale.
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Its not a big deal really as you found out nobody cares what you buy.
I bought two pair of pantyhose at Ross yesterday because WalMart and Gordman's didn't have any.
I have to agree with the SA linen color look horrible on anyone. Good call on her part.
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Cecily,
The next step is more adventurous , buying clothes and trying them on, by then you will smile to yourself about the simple task of buying tights.
Don't always take SAs advice , I buy four shades of stockings plus black opaque holdups depending on what I wear , some SAs tried to tell me not to buy black stockings because no one wears them , how wrong was that, you need them with black boots .
Keep doing what you are doing because you will start to collect amusing moments , I love some of the things that have happened while shopping .
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Teresa is right because amusing interactions with SA's can be a lot of fun.
Some even get into helping a guy buy femme outfits. I have 2 SA's at Kohl's that I adore because its like a party when I go there.
We have fun putting together outfits.
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My wife really hates shopping so before I discovered my feminine side I was doing most of her shopping. I bought lingerie, pants, blouses, dresses and bathing suits. I love to shop myself and it has never bothered me being in the womans clothing department. Oddly enough when I did find my girl side and started buying for myself I did have a period of being selfconscious about buying for myself.
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Cecily, consider this a learning experience. The general rule is: Strangers don't care so why should u?:)
Many of us would not even consider it "outing" unless the person knows u.
Outing yourself to someone who knows u is the real deal!:brolleyes:
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Good point Sherry if you don't know the person its not really outing yourself.
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The only disapproving look I ever got when buy women's clothing was when I bought a vivid red Vanity Fair bra and tap panty set. It wasn't from a sales associate. It was from a guy standing behind me in line. It was Christmas time. Back then it was common for me to buy lingerie for my wife. Buying for myself seemed no big deal. I bought lots of slips and lingerie for myself without any sales associate batting an eye. Some were very helpful. The only semi snide comment I got from a female associate was at JC Penny's in the early 1980's. I was buying a Vanity Fair white pull on shaper slip with a built in panty. I had the newspaper advertisement in my hand with the size written down. She gave me a knowing look and a snide comment, "SHE even wrote the size down for you!" She was a middle age lady. Later I decided to go back and buy the slip in black. A different, but younger sales associate, was cheerful and had no issue.
I usually buy my hosiery on line to get a better deal. However, I do use the self checkout line and tuck the hosiery in with my other purchases. If you peruse the clothing reviews at Macy's.com or JCPenny.com there are many from men. The sales associates seem to be very accustom to men buying female garments. Some newly out of high school with little experience with the public may get a little flustered for awhile, but, it sure must wear off quickly.
Shop to you drop!
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I've not been as bold as you yet but have bought panties, hose, and a skirt. I you say that's bold, no I also bought with it, two gallons of milk, apples, bread, and a sack of cat food....
You are brave but sounds like the SA was ok with you buying the hose. You might have to look for her the next time your checking out this could get interesting and you'll know she doesn't care.
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I think most of us worried that first time we bought something like hose or anything women related.
You thought the world would end if someone saw you even holding the pantyhose much less going thru the check out lane.
If you sit and think about it rationally what can happen? Nothing earth shattering and pretty much a non event to be honest.
You did it and you made it out unhurt and the world didn't end LOLOL.
Good for you now its on to buying panties and other stuff that you never thought you could do.