The Perils of Driving While Dressed

[StarrOfDelite]

A couple of days ago I was driving in male clothing in the curb lane of a four-lane-plus-turn-lane highway in a Plastic America shopping area, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a bicycle coming the opposite direction down the dividing line between curb lane I was in and the inside driving lane. I was shocked, took my foot off the gas pedal, and was just barely able to spike my brakes to avoid hitting the bicyclist as he made a sudden swerve across my lane into the driveway to a Sam's Club. It really shook me up, because I came within 5-10-15 feet of seriously injuring or killing a human being through no fault of my own, and then I started thinking about what-if I'd killed him and had been driving in female clothing?

I don't have a car in New York, but when I'm back home (east OH/west PA) I've been getting fairly blase' about driving around in wig, makeup, and women's clothes. This incident made me feel very insecure when I realized that sometimes being the most careful driver in the world can't keep you out of an accident. I'm now feeling very paranoid about getting behind the wheel, especially at night when not only the ordinary careless drivers are lurking, but a measurable percent of everybody on the road has alcohol in their blood.

Has anyone else had a similar crisis of confidence, and, if so, how long did it take to overcome it?

[connie23]

Hi!,
Once I was driving dressed completely in DC on George Wahington parkway and I stopped at the edge of the road. All of a sudden, I noticed a park police cruiser right behind me. I gently drove away and the cop did not follow but I was really terrified. After a couple of months I returned to driving en femme but i am really careful now.
I think it is OK to drive while dressed, just be careful.
Yesterday, I was dressed in my favorite skirt, boots and wig adn I was in stop and go traffic.

[karanne]

I've driven through the suburbs when small kids (toddlers) have run out from driveways. I honked a couple times and the father ran over and grabbed them; spanked them, then waved. Closest I've come.

Edit: The cyclist was an idjit. We import our idjits from other states.

[Dawn cd]

Because, if you have a serious accident, not only will it get into the newspapers that "John Smith was driving while dressed in women's clothes" but police and possibly attorneys for the other party could argue that being dressed was a distraction to you and that the accident was due in part to your carelessness.

[Rikidee]

I wasn't fully dressed but had on a girl's tank top and girls short shorts with shaved legs a few weeks ago when another car bumped into my car while I was on the interstate doing 70 mph. Fortunately I was able to get it straightened out and over to the emergency lane. The other driver immediately admitted it was his fault and we got everything taken care of after calling the sheriffs department. I did feel a little wierd standing there in front of the deputies but if they noticed they did not let on. It certainly made me realize how quickly things can go wrong. The way I think about it though is that if I have a serious accident how I am dressed probably won't be my first priority. Hugs Riki

[lingerieLiz]

I havn't been stopped lately, but in the eairly 60s I did get stopped. Luckly I had a rain coat on and pulled it closed. Then it was illegal to dress. Police don't really care anymore. Well most of them. Can't remember which city, but one council member was stopped for DWI while dressed. Paper showed him with dress on, but life went on.

I wear a bra most of the time. Interacted with police wearing a t-shirt showing boobs and bra line. Wasn't arrested. Figure if I have accident tough, a lot of people know I wear fem clothes. So why would it be distraction. Just don't be dressing in a car at 70 miles an hour.

[Aprilrain]

I have been pulled over three times while wearing (my clothes!) female attire. all three times were before I changed my name and when I was still wearing a wig. not one word was said to me about the way I was dressed.

[sanderlay]

Driving in mixed feminine and masculine clothing is how I drive now. Except for my lock out situation (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?161895-If-anything-can-go-wrong-it-will...-(open-to-all)&p=2627012&viewfull=1#post2627012) I haven't had any serious problems for a long time.

But every long trip I make, one hundred miles or more, I always seem to have one of those close encounters I have to avoid. Rarely are they like what happen to you. I just have to react fast and I chalk it up to being a defensive driver. Like on the highway and someone pulls into your lane real close to you.

I know I could never wear heels when dressed while I drive. In fact I've heard other women who commuted who had their transportation shoes they could walk in and drive in. They would then switch when they arrived at there destination.

I make sure I wear clothing that I can operate the car without restrictions. My first responsibility is to driving. If I can not I should have someone drive me.

Close calls always make me review how I was driving... even if the other driver was at fault.

1) Did I make the situation worse by how I drove?
2) Could I have avoided the near miss by driving differently?

In my early days of driving I did have an accident which was my fault. I learned a lot from that situation. At first I was to overly cautious which can be another accident waiting to happen. This took a few months I think. But I learned the balance between being overly cautious and being to aggressive.

So now it's been over thirty years with out an accident. YEA!!!

[rebekkadg]

If you were driving in female clothing I don't think it would make much difference to the police officers. Police officers see some strange things and are pretty numb to it all. I have seen them sit there and just chat it up with the people that they have in handcuffs as they wait for others to arrive on the scene, they seem to have much less emotional connection to what is going on, just another day at work for them.

Now, the injured party's lawyers are another question, lawyers being lawyers will pull any dirty thing they can to get as much as they can and are sure to pull the whole crossdressing thing out and twist it into some part of the fault.

[eluuzion]

Hiya SOD,

Yes, the first couple of bicyclists I ran over sort of rattled me, until I realized most of the mess comes right off in a carwash. Now when I run over somebody, I just worry about the cost of wheel alignment and dent repair. Hey, Maaco will still paint an entire car for around $300, :D

Yep, got my annual nightmare scenario out of the way a couple months ago when I got pulled over by drug task force on the interstate. It was the one time I violated my own rule of “always being prepared for a traffic stop (or accident, etc.) before I turn the key in the ignition. I won’t make that mistake again anytime soon, :brolleyes: I do the same drill pilots do before I leave the garage.

Bicyclists have managed to finally get their own lanes and right to ride in traffic with cars. Problem is that they feel the “rules of the road” apply rigidly to everybody driving vehicles and flexibly to people riding bicycles. Funny how that works, isn’t it?:straightface:

All we can do is drive the speed limit and be on the lookout for idiots…the forest is full of em’.

:love:

[linda allen]

I won't be driving "dressed" for a while, but did when my wife was out of town. And yes, I had a couple close calls. Nothing to do with being dressed, but being involved in an accident while dressed as a female is going to let the cat out of the bag for sure, especially if it's a serious accident.

As for bicyclists, around here, they seem to feel that it's safest for them to ride on the highway opposing traffic as pedestrians are supposed to do. Laws are for other people! I've seen them riding on the Interstate!

[kimdl93]

I have to admit, it crosses my mind whenever I'm on the road - and it makes me a bit more consciencious behind the wheel. But I've mentally committed myself when I leave home...so accident, traffic stop, or flat tire...I'm out there en femme.

[linda allen]

Related to the topic:

A few weeks ago I was driving fully dressed and I pulled into the outdoor mall to walk around for a while. All of a sudden "thump, thump, thump", the unmistakable sound of a flat tire. :eek: What am I going to do now?

I looked for a spot on the outskirts where no other cars were and parked and got out in all my female glory with my skirt and pumps and walked around the truck.

All the tires looked fine, none were flat. I looked again and there was a large piece of someone else's hub cap stuck in the tread of one of the tires. I pulled it out, fully expecting to hear the hiss of air leaking but there was none.

I drove back closer to the mall, parked, got out, and walked around. Close call, I suppose, but other than that, I had a great time and photos to remember it by. :D

[Cheryl T]

I have thought about the "what ifs" of driving dressed and came to the conclusion that they are no more serious that what could happen any other time. If I get a flat, I have gloves, flares and a spare and I know how (AAA if it's raining or snowing no matter what). If I get stopped it won't be because I was careless as I drive more considerately and cautiously as a woman and I have ID to show who I am. At this point in my life I just try to be careful and considerate and if S**T happens, then S**T happens.
I'm too old to fret the small stuff anymore....

[Stephanie47]

Whenever I go out for a drive en femme I take along a change of guy clothes. Sometimes car trouble is more than a flat. I've had my starter just die without appropriate warning. I've had my car hit while parked in a Target lot. I've been 'tapped' twice buy careless drivers, which resulted in swapping insurance info. I've been run into by two drivers running stop signs. All of these happened while dressed as a guy. I limit my night time driving to low traffic low speed streets. I also bought a pair of low heel comfortable driving shoes. I got ride of floor mats long before Toyota recall issues. Nothing like having a spiked heel stuck in the carpet.

I keep a copy of the state law and municipal code with me in case some 'uneducated' police officer would object or make an issue of being en femme. Yes, the biggest fear before I retired was to end up somehow in the newspapers. It was remote, but, always there. Of course, my sister-in-law works weekends at the local hospital. Another reason to drive carefully en femme.

[StarrOfDelite]

Thanks for the responses and anecdotes. I was pretty shaken up after the incident even being in men's clothes. I bicycle a lot and am paranoid about cars, so I don't have the vaguest idea what the fool who scared me was thinking. I'm used to bicyclists riding the wrong direction around the fog line/bicycle lane, but this guy was right in the middle between two lanes of traffic going 40-45 mph. It was like a scene from the motorcycle chase in the second Matrix movie! Except he sure didn't look like Carrie Moss, more like a guy who had recently been released from the Psych ward and had forgotten to take his meds.

I always drive 2-3 mph below the speed limit, wear flat shoes, use my turn signals religiously, and come to full stops at all stop signs when I'm dressed. I'm also always careful to drink one glass of wine only when I'm driving and clubbing, because the only moving violation that will get you thrown in jail around here is dui. The problem with this was that if I had hit this guy between him going 10-15 and me going at least 30 after braking, I would've killed him. In addition to being a conscience burden, would've definitely landed a video me on the six o' clock news if I'd been dressed.

Anyway, I've calmed down a bit, decided that this is the life I've chosen (or which has chosen me) and am going to drive to a club on Saturday, being careful all the way.

As an aside, thinking about Carrie Moss and the Matrix, maybe I would kill for the black leather motorcycle outfit she was wearing. I would look great in it, I'm sure.

[BillieJoEllen]

I haven't been out dressed in quite a few years now but when I did go out I was almost involved in an accident on a busy day in downtown Milwaukee. Thinking back I think it was almost a miracle that an accident didn't happen. I was always a much better driver while dressed because of my heightened awareness of what I was doing and the surrounding activities around me. But then one can't always rely solely on one's own competence because the accident that almost was I wouldn't have been able to avoid even if I would have used all the techniques available to defensive driver.

[Veronica27]

I don't think it is the police, paramedics, hospital staff or even tow truck operators and garage mechanics we have to worry about if we run into a problem while driving. It is the news media and as someone else pointed out, the lawyers, who can make life hell for us in the event of a major driving problem.

Always obey the rules of the road, drive very defensively, and wear sensible footwear. Same goes for driving in male mode, but we are much more conscious of the potential problems in femme mode. I have only driven a few times in full femme mode (and yes I was wearing heals, and not following my own rules) but have had no incidents, fortunately.

[DonnaT]

I worry more about car trouble that accidents, but carry a change of clothes in case there is car trouble. I've over 184,000 miles on my truck and over 200,000 on my car, but worry more about flats than mechanical problems, since I try to keep the mechanically sound.

Can't see much sense in trying to change if I was in an accident, however.

As for lawyers, I would simply object to the judge and then point out I've been driving enfemme for many many years with no problems, and if women can dress however they want, what difference does it make how I was dressed.

[kelsey52]

I drive in heels all the time. Ileave a pair in the car and switch out heels once a week I just keep my nikes next to me when I reach my location I just put my regular shoes on even on trips Iwill wear heels and of course iam underdressed most of the time. My trunk has several pairs plus clothes.

[Lori B]

I always bring my "quick-change drab bag" with me when I go too.:heehee: ,,,and always drive super-extra-extremely carefull....:brolleyes:

[Rachel Morley]

This is an interesting thread to me as I drive a lot while en femme. It mostly happens if I am going out socially, say to either a TG event but also when going over to other TG friends houses just to hang out. So I'm usually driving for between 30 minutes to an hour each way. I've even picked up my wife from the airport in San Francisco, that was 2 hours each way (once I forgot my phone and so couldn't even call AAA if I had gotten stranded).

Anyway, my point is I never carry a "boy bag" and always assume nothing bad is going to happen regarding accidents or breakdowns (nothing ever has yet) ... but reading what everyone has written has got me thinking that perhaps I should carry a "boy bag". Then again, 90% I am with my wife and so if anything ever did happen she would take charge and and "do the talking" if anything happened and if by chance something happened where we had an accident and she was hurt then I would just "step up" and do what I gotta do while en femme ... and if anyone questioned me I would just tell them I am "a transgender woman in transition". ... which in another world, time and space, I would be.

My point is, it's a matter of choice, and just so long as you recognize that there is a small chance that you might have to interact with the emergency services or a tow truck driver while en femme it's a risk you do or don't have to take depending on how you feel about being outed.

That's my :2c:

[sara.s]

I don't feel like the real me when driving dressed (nervous, slow and conscious). But unfortunately there is no other option.

[Genifer Teal]

I've been in a few car stops with police, including an accident. It never mattered how I was dressed. I sometimes got better treatment because of it.

[DianeDeBris]

Now, the injured party's lawyers are another question, lawyers being lawyers will pull any dirty thing they can to get as much as they can...

A couple of thoughts: almost all of us here, quite rightly, take offense at people who ridicule us crossdressers and our way of living. We castigate those narrow-minded folks who lump whole groups of human beings together and we scorn those who mindlessly throw stones at us CD'rs, accusing us all of being the worst of the worst. We are absolutely right to condemn this kind of thoughtless, unreflective bumper-sticker style of "non-thinking." We are fully justified in asking that others not judge us without knowing us; not throw out the typical, easy stereotypical slurs; not make crass assumptions about us based on rumors, jokes, whispers or "what everybody knows." We are right to ask others to respect us at least enough to see us as individuals and to judge us for who we are as individuals, and not merely as members of a safe-to-mock group. If we want this bare minimum human respect for ourselves, would it not be right for us to afford this same right to other people? If it is legitimate to mock one group of citizens who protect the legal rights that all the rest of us so frequently want to count on, why would it not be legitimate to mock [insert here every awful slur and name you can think of]?
Beyond that: While I do love my high heels, I routinely carry a pair of flats for driving, just to eliminate one more thing that could possibly interfere with driving safely when it might matter most. As to drinking and driving, well, you can guess my thoughts on that.
Hugs to one and all! Diane

[LIKETODRESS2]

I was out of town one day and went to the makeup counter and had my make up done for the most part i was in male mode besides the wig and gilrs jeans. I had a skirt a nd top in truck and put it one one the way home. It was around this time of year and hit a snow store on the way home the first 120 miles was fine the last 20 miles took me almost 1 hour it was snowing so hard I had to get out nad clear offf the headlights so icould see better asi could think of was goinog in the ditch

[donnalee]

When I was growing up (in another state), the rule about right-of-way was this: Pedestrians, Vehicles and THEN Bicycles. This kept bicyclists, who were mostly kids VERY careful. It's kind of like cars & trains; a giant difference in mass and maneuverability; your only option is watch your ass. Very effective in making sure bicycles and kids were safe.
As adult bicyclists became more common and "politically correct" and legislation was skewed more in their favor, it became SOP for traffic rules to be ignored, both by bicyclists and those entrusted to enforce traffic laws for them. They do not stop for red lights, stop signs or opposing traffic, thereby endangering themselves and all in their vicinity. The worst part is that this infection has spread to my home state; my sister (a retired attorney), who spent part of her years after college bicycling through a good part of Europe, can't stand them and told me that the right-of-way laws had been changed in favor of bicycles, so the last bastion of good sense has capitulated.

[Cally]

Over here it's not a crime to wear whatever, providing it's not considered offensive.

Since Cally has been unleashed on the general public, she has actually been looking forward to being pulled over for a "Random Breath Test" .. and at last my wish came true just the other night.

The young policeman obviously picked me from the off, but he was polite and courteous. He stopped short off addressing me as a female, but seemed interested only in doing his job ie checking I was not over the limit or driving in a stolen or unregistered vehicle.

He wished me a good evening and that was it. Over here as in many places, police have to be nice or they can find themselves in some serious trouble with anti discrimination laws. But I really think that they have a job to do and they are not going to waste time on folk who are clearly not what they are targeting and they really don't have the time to care one way or the other if you are a boy or a girl.

In any case for me, it was another "first time" buzz .. couldn't get to sleep for ages afterwards when I got home.

[stacycoral]

yes, i can unstand what your talking about, i have drove home last year from the city for a couple of hundred miles, full dress with makeup, i alway drive i think more careful as a women, the big thing i worry about is finding a place to use the restroom, bicycles need to folllow the rules of the road, i have been there having to make quick stops due to people just not be smart riding, sometimes i think they don't know they have to follow the rules and how they put the other in danger.

[Wendy_Marie]

I frequently drive fairly long distances due to my employment....I have informed my Boss about my Transgenderism and as such have just come to accept the fact that there is always a chance that someday I may be involved in an incident while driving a car...the fact that I may or may not be dressed enfemme is irrelevent to me as it has nothing to do with my driving skills and or safety record....

[NathalieX66]

I only had two close calls while en femme:
One, I had one headlight out, and a local cop followed me home one night, and disspeared when I pulled into my driveway.
Two, i had a tire blowout on a highway late in the evening, and I limped into a commuter rail station while wearing a sundress. A cop drove by, shined a spotlight in my face, stuck around for 5 minutes, and drove away.

[Kaz]

I think this came up a year or so ago... the issue is about human rights and as long as it is not illegal to wear womens clothing when driving there will not be an issue on that score... BUT... as has been said the media will bring a different twist to the events to satisfy their thirst for making money out of the suffering of others, just like bankers, and of course lawyers.. OK there are some good 'lawyers' out there (sic).

I always carry my boy bag and have a strategy in place (a 'what if' scenario). Of course the chances are that the scenario I will encounter will not be one that I had foreseen but thet then becomes a 'learning experience' and I will enjoy and become a better person!

The way I see it is that me being exposed as a cross dresser as a result of a car accident is one of those things that is a random event unless I cause it to happen.

My horror story was driving dressed but not made up... so I am a male from the neck up... everything else in place... forms..etc..

I am within minutes of my destination where I am working. It is late evening and dark. My plan was to park, change in the car... do the gig, change on return to the car... drive home... change...etc

Minutes from my destination a learner driver pulls out and clips my wing mirror. I drive to a suitable spot and park. My wing mirror is smashed.

I am wondering what to do and then this aggressive Muslim lady starts banging on my window... she is the driving instructor. When the incident happened I didn't know what had happened. I was driving along and suddenly felt and heard the thud and then parked up. So I wind down the window and get the verbal abuse about my driving... at some point I tell her about the damage to my wing mirror and suggest that the way this damage has arisen does not prove cause and effect, but I am a victim of this incident.

Then she starts seeing things... OMG... is that a can of lager? yes it is... it is unopened, I bought it on my way over here for when I get home as I will finish late... OMG she sees what I am wearing, she threatens to call the police... I say OK, you should do this.. these are my details... I give her email, mobile phone, the lot..

She eventually goes... I get changed and deliver my 3 hour session, get back to the car, change clothes and go home.

I then worry for a long time... nothing happens.

If she contacted the police...? If she had pursued an insurance claim? I got my wing mirror fixed... around £100... cheaper than my excess...

So far a win!

I think about this incident a lot and what it could have been... hence scenarios

[lingerieLiz]

Just don't run a redlight in cities that use the camera's or toll booth. Or you may have a souviner picture sent to your home.

[donnatracey]

Yes, Liz, that could be quite the conversation piece around the dinner table!......:o

[Amymonroe]

i have never been in an accident while driving but i did drive from werezburge GE. to schwienfurt a couple times in fem. it was awesome.

[linda allen]

When I have been out, I've had a "boy bag" in the car because I must become a boy again before entering my neighborhood. Still, it's going to take several minutes for the transformation and I can't do it with people close by.