If I could just address one little corner of this issue:
1. At this point, "deception" is no longer an issue. You are being perfectly honest.
2. At this stage of life, an honest self-understanding says, "I used to hope this would go away. I'm now quite sure it won't." To go back on that hard-won understanding would be self-deception and would probably lead to attempts to convince others of things that just aren't true.
So honesty is most certainly on your side. Whether or not honesty is what your partner values, or whether it's just a club they like to whack you with, remains to be seen.
I wish you the best!
