So many great posts here. Truer words were never spoken, it was not until I was able to first accept myself that I could learn to love myself. Loving yourself, IMHO, is easier than accepting yourself, while niether are easy. Thanks for brightening my day ladies, I think I'll treat myself to a "femme" evening tonight in celebration.
[SIZE="3"]Rita, thank you for sharing your story. I never went through some of the things you and some of the other ladies went through, but I am one happy crossdresser. You are an encouragement to me and others who are struggling, Rita. You sound so confident and sure of yourself now. I will pray for you. I'm so happy to know you and be part of this wonderful family.
Gennee[/SIZE]
I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!
"Don't let anyone define who you are".
Originally Posted by sara_also
Interesting post about liking yourself. I guess I love Toyah but I think thats because she does not have to cope with the world and can just have a closeted fun life.
I sorta like my male self a bit but good old life keeps getting in the way.
Sara, Regina, Stephani and Toyah
Thanks again for what you wrote. I agree with you all. I agree that everything requires the proper balance. The selfish and narcissistic aspects can be problematic. My life was a virtual desert regarding self respect and acceptance that I have gone 180 degrees. I would say that we all have to keep the proper pespective on things. The self love I am working on is one that should not be at the expense of others but more to their benefit. I believe I am a much nicer and loving person to others because I am learning to love and embrace who I am. I also am at risk with the selfish stuff so your post is a great reminder. I would have to confess that I still struggle with the selfishness aspect and I would like to think that I am working on it.
Thanks again
Rita
a work in progress as opposed to a piece of work
Last edited by Lovely Rita; 05-03-2007 at 03:22 PM.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
your post resonated with this GG all the way!Many times I read some posts here where people are going through difficulty because of crossdressing. The difficulties vary depending on particular situations and circumstances. The struggles are very real. Many may struggle with the fact that dressing as a woman is not accepted by society on a whole, or not accepted by our SOs, or countless other reasons.
I did not write this thread this morning as the panacea that will be the answer to all our many struggles but just wanted to share something that has helped me immensely with regard to my struggle. My struggle with self acceptance and coming to terms with the person I was created to be.
Here goes....I found that a lot of my problems stemmed from the fact that I was conditioned very early on not to love myself. Not to love myself as a person who enjoyed wearing women's clothing. Here is what I mean. In my culture it is something so taboo and unthinkable that from early on I was conditioned and inculcated to hate this practice in anyone. As a child crossdressers were singled out to me by members of my social groups: family, friends, parents,peers, as freaks and people to be chidded, dismissed. This social conditioning left me with quite a lot of baggage to sort through, and I am still sorting through the aftermath. The effects were guilt, self hatred to name a few. The deleterious affects of this indoctrination literally left me depressed as well unable to experience the Joy I know today. Loving others was very difficult especially since I could not love myself.
My medicine so to speak was to learn how to love myself completely. I am still working on that one. I guess I will continue learning that one until the day I die, but I am happy to share that I have definitely embraced this part of myself. I cannot fully express in words the Joy I have experienced from this amazing journey.
I also will not let anyone or anything, to the best of my ability, influence me to ever love myself less. Never again, whether it is opinions or social mores, will I let anything influence how I feel about myself with regard to who I am. The cost is too great. The truth has set me free and I seek to remain so.
LOVE YOURSELF!!!
Louise.
Louise
Your example of Love and faithfulness resonate with me. You and Carin are blessed and most fortunate to have found one another. I love seeing your picture it is full of the Light that only Love can produce.
You are trully wonderful people.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
we both appreciate your kindness.
love,
Louise.
Toyah,Interesting post about liking yourself. I guess I love Toyah but I think thats because she does not have to cope with the world and can just have a closeted fun life.
I sorta like my male self a bit but good old life keeps getting in the way.
The point is to love all of yourself. You can't love the femme self without also loving the male self. The both together makes you whole. It doesn't matter what the outward expression is at any given time. With acceptance and self love comes peace. Peace with who you are and that resonates from a person and attracts others. The dressing (either male expression or female expression) becomes secondary to living a life with purpose and gaining a confidence to share your gifts with others so that we can learn and grow from that expirence. That is what true life is all about. The people you share your life with gain valuable memories and personally grow from the expirence.
So beautifully put Kitty. I agree 100 percent.Toyah,
The point is to love all of yourself. You can't love the femme self without also loving the male self. The both together makes you whole. It doesn't matter what the outward expression is at any given time. With acceptance and self love comes peace. Peace with who you are and that resonates from a person and attracts others. The dressing (either male expression or female expression) becomes secondary to living a life with purpose and gaining a confidence to share your gifts with others so that we can learn and grow from that expirence. That is what true life is all about. The people you share your life with gain valuable memories and personally grow from the expirence.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
I have spent the last 2 years trying to come to terms with who I really am. I was always ashamed. I used to get so mad at myself for wanting to crossdress thinking what kind of freak am I. Nobody does this sort of thing.
Finding this site was the first time I ever knew there were so many people like me. It started to get easier to accept. I felt I finally fit in somewhere. It filled a void.
Coming out to my wife was the next step. She has been very accepting and loves me no matter what. This has helped me more than anything to accept and embrace who I truly am on the inside. I have no problems with it anymore. I do love who I am.
Thanks Rita.
Tracie
Love Ya, Tracy
"Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and open so the world can see you shine." ~James Poland
It is so wonderful to read your post this morning. It inspired me to read about your journey. Many of us have similar experiences. It encourages me to hear how things are working for you.I have spent the last 2 years trying to come to terms with who I really am. I was always ashamed. I used to get so mad at myself for wanting to crossdress thinking what kind of freak am I. Nobody does this sort of thing.
Finding this site was the first time I ever knew there were so many people like me. It started to get easier to accept. I felt I finally fit in somewhere. It filled a void.
Coming out to my wife was the next step. She has been very accepting and loves me no matter what. This has helped me more than anything to accept and embrace who I truly am on the inside. I have no problems with it anymore. I do love who I am.
Thanks Rita.
Tracie
It is not an easy road but it is very well worth the struggle. We are lottery winners especially when we love and accept who we are.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
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