The problem with being a real woman

[lady lycra]

They want a guy who is comfortable at the opera and can fix the washer. Who is good with babies but also can defend them if need be.

Sounds like someone I know... ME!!!

Not really into opera but I write poetry. I make up stories for children.
I'm an electrician (washing machines are easy), bloody good mechanic, and I was a stay at home dad for 5 years (all through the nappy stage). I also grew up in the rough end of town and stand 5'11" in my stockinged feet Not what you'd call petit.... So I guess I tick most of the boxes...
I also like to dress all girly now and then, have a keen eye for what looks good and will go shopping for days on end without complaining.

If I wasn't already married... I'd ask myself

LL

PS... Can we cut all the crap that's flying around, and drop it.
Life is too short to get arsey with like minded people.

[Jesse69]

It seems like I can't often talk about issues concerning weight without people taking me the wrong way. This also happened in another thread where I said it's good to lose weight so you can buy a bigger selection of clothes on ebay especially at size 8. Then people condemned me for being insensitive, when I was just stating good advice because my own weight loss opened the doors to a big beautiful clothes collection.

I stated what I said on societies pressure for women to be slim because I see all over women's magazine on topics of dieting all the time. And I've seen it plastered all over the web for diets. And then have you ever noticed that men's magazines like Playboy, Maxum, or FHM & etc. have never pictured an obese woman as an ideal of beauty?

I didn't mean to say that all men hate fat women. One of my best friends married a fat woman and he is very happy with her. And I don't complain about that!

And if you don't know who Britney Spears is you must be from another planet!

[Ashleigh GG]

Far too many men judge women based on their weight. If I were a man, I would want a woman who loved to cook, loved sex, and loved to laugh! A great smile never hurts, either. When I look at other women, I find a lot of so-called heavier women very attractive - it's the sparkle in their eyes, the joie de vivre (joy of life) they carry with them. Being a woman is difficult for another reason entirely - it's called a menstrual period!!! LOL :P

[Sheila]

Far too many men judge women based on their weight. If I were a man, I would want a woman who loved to cook, loved sex, and loved to laugh! A great smile never hurts, either. When I look at other women, I find a lot of so-called heavier women very attractive - it's the sparkle in their eyes, the joie de vivre (joy of life) they carry with them. Being a woman is difficult for another reason entirely - it's called a menstrual period!!! LOL :P

AFL if I were not already taken and blissfully happy with my guy I would be throwing my hat into your ring

Jess

[ChristineRenee]

iam what iam, so what im volumptoeus ( love that word ) !! if "some" men are that shallow to judge a GG on weight etc, then sorry. its whats inside that matters. making a man laugh, making him feel @ ease , is far more important !! these super-thin modles etc maybe ok on the eye, but they lack personailty !!
we are what we are & i dont live by what people think i should look like/be . iam what iam, take it or leave
( sorry, but i have strong views on things like that ) !!

Wicked...you...are...AWESOME babe!

[Jodie_Lynn]

Who defines "ugly" or "attractive"? What is "normal" and what is "weird"?

Sure, its easy to lay the blame on "society", but ya know what?

WE are "society". WE decide what is attractive or ugly from our own, unique POV.

But, I've noticed that if YOU feel good about yourself, others tend to pick up on it.

And, before anyone starts throwing out labels like "fat", "skinny", ugly, pretty, weird, normal, or what ever else, they should take a long hard look in the mirror.
The "freak" just might be the face staring back at you.

Final word: Love yourself, and make no judgements on others.

namaste

[Tamara Croft]

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person.

[Lilian]

Actualy, i think "Dawn French" is gorgeous, beautiful, & shes a volumpteous woman & i also believe it isnt always looks that attract people to each other. if you have known someone for awhile, often the attraction has been made through conversation, just talking & learning about each other you shouldnt judge a book by its cover

you are so right she is a lovely lady and so full of fun, Beauty is only skin deep and its like everyone said its whats on the inside that counts.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Wicked...you...are...AWESOME babe!

cheers hun

[Tina Dixon]

I just started reading this, and stooped, I'm a average fat guy in drab, so I'm not good enough for a bimbo like Britney Spears? Well I am and for any woman out there, but I got a great lady

[Carlacd]

Britney Spears, has had more hands up her dress then the muppetts

[AngGG]

You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person.

[janedoe311]

Perhaps you shouldn't be so picky

My wife is over weight and a wonderfull lady.

[RobertaFermina]

I am absolutely capable of innocently insulting someone. If anything I say here insults you, please tell me. I would want me a chance to understand, and make amends.

That said, I hope to do good for everyone through these words...

The impact of Jesse69's words is SELF-EVIDENT, and I feel DEAD CERTAIN Jesse69 is innocent of any intention to irritate, insult, or demean any woman.

I feel the pain, and anger, and astonishment expressed here is not a conspiracy to attack Jesse69. I see it as a fund emotion due to insults, judgments and internalization of media and societal messages.

I have heard that noon can make a person less through words and messages, that it is up to the individual determine and manifest their inalienable self-worth. It is also arrogant to expect anyone to fully manifest from the root of their being that wisdom which must be learned by examples, in this world where such examples are the exception. Words often hurt, and it is hard work to let the hurt go, or arrive at a state where we are immune to their wounding.


For a woman, being a woman is a given. Woman is. Women are. No adjectives are necessary.

BUT! being seen as a woman, a fountain of power, life, nurturing, and mystery and <your favorite womanly attributes here>, gets complicated by the must-have attributes of "slender", "compliant" etc. When bombarded by these messages that make womanhood conditional...you are a woman if....well that can cause a woman to doubt herself, or to grow her own inner warrior to banish such doubts and messages from her Queendom.

When I look at a woman and dismiss her because she doesn't have one of these must-haves - then I am denying her right to self-determination, and the appreciation she deserves for the essential miracle that she is.

Were I to be a woman so judged, in my vulnerability it would depress, and respecting and protecting my vulnerability, I would rise in anger.

I feel that way when judged about certain masculine/male attributes, except that the new must-have is that men should not get angry, so I only get depressed.

The important truth is:
I DON'T LIVE MY LIFE AS A WOMAN AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WORDS LIKE 'SLENDER', AND 'FAT' AND 'UGLY' MEAN 'YOU DON'T EXIST', 'YOU AREN'T WORTHY', AND 'GO AWAY'.

Deep in my gut, these words have only their dictionary meaning to me, as a man, despite the fact that for 20 years I ranged in weight from 250 to 300 lbs - no one doubted my manhood over that. For many women, they are hand-grenades, barbed spears, bitter acid, or atom bombs.

Innocents can hurl them innocently, and those wounded by them can innocently blame those who hurl them.

When there is innocent action that leads to real pain, what is there to do ?

Absolve the innocent, and diminish the reality and pain of the anguished? That diminishing would feel like a repeated insult. It is not my place to say what is to be done.

I think there is no sensible solution that preserves the relationships of the participants as it is. Our relationship to these messages, our status as men and women, and to each other must change.

People in 'privileged groups' (men) that 'innocently' transgress upon those in a 'target group' (women) will not find peace until they realize the power of their words - they must accept an end of their ignorance. It is also true that those in the target group can become so exasperated with the constant society-sanctioned barrage of insult that they lose any hope of healing and bridging the rifts that have been created. They must accept that healing and forgiveness is possible.

Has this kind of wounding happened Here?

Can this kind of healing happen here?

In this community of people seeking care and support and fellowship and encouragement, I do think that respect, and forgiveness and being honest and open enough to earn trust, and courageous enough to trust and risk the inescapable betrayals by loving, however imperfect beings....I think these would be nice ingredients for the healing pot....


In Love and Service,

Roberta

[Deborah]

I don't often agree with Jesse69, but this time i will. So TameraGG's post should be read again by those who disagree.
If i recall correctly Jesse69 was also over weight and lost a lot of it. So it's not like she doesn't know what it's like.

Oh and in response to the title thread i don't care what the problem is with being a real woman it sure beats being a "real" man.

[GACountrygal]

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

Now I havent read anything but the initial post, so this might have already been said...

It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Because there are women out there who are not shallow, and care foe the person within

[Country girl]

You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person.

You know Tamara, when I first read this, I had the exact same thoughts you had. Unfortunately I was on my way out the door and wasn't able to post to it. But you are right. It isn't like she was picking on anyone. She was just stating that, like you said, what we have all thought. Some of us have felt them as well. I am only 5'2" and at one time in my life I weighed almost 300 lbs. Yep, that's right 300. I was married to a goodlooking man who was 6' and weighed 180 lbs.I'm sure, in fact i know, his family wondered why he had married me. Well today I weigh 115, but I'm still the same person, make that the same woman, I was then. I have a great personality, an infectious laugh, a wicked tounge , and I throw the best superbowl parties in the state of Texas . Life is what you want to make it. It doesn't matter how goodlooking your spouse is, beauty comes from within, and someday, if we live long enough, none of us are going to look all that hot! Don't judge a book by it's cover. Because if you do you might just be missing out on the greatest read of your life!

[Country girl]

Gimme a break! I've been single for 26 years now, after 17 years of marriage.
Just try and find an attractive woman over 40, with a decent figure, who dresses well, heels, dresses, makeup, etc, who has some interests, besides grandkids, shopping and bingo. One of the main reasons I dress up, is because most women dont!

Melinda, I'm with Bev on this one. At 48, I think I look better than a lot of 25 year olds , but hey, alot of that has to do with personality and attitude. I don't smoke, LOVE to dress up, don't have grandkids and most likely won't for at least 6 more years, and I don't play bingo. But then again I have a lot of interests and keep myself young looking by enjoying life as much as I can.

[janedoe311]

You know Tamara, when I first read this, I had the exact same thoughts you had. Unfortunately I was on my way out the door and wasn't able to post to it. But you are right. It isn't like she was picking on anyone. She was just stating that, like you said, what we have all thought. Some of us have felt them as well. I am only 5'2" and at one time in my life I weighed almost 300 lbs. Yep, that's right 300. I was married to a goodlooking man who was 6' and weighed 180 lbs.I'm sure, in fact i know, his family wondered why he had married me. Well today I weigh 115, but I'm still the same person, make that the same woman, I was then. I have a great personality, an infectious laugh, a wicked tounge , and I throw the best superbowl parties in the state of Texas . Life is what you want to make it. It doesn't matter how goodlooking your spouse is, beauty comes from within, and someday, if we live long enough, none of us are going to look all that hot! Don't judge a book by it's cover. Because if you do you might just be missing out on the greatest read of your life!

And don't you forget it!

[Country girl]

And don't you forget it!

Awww Jane, that's so sweet. Thanks for saying so. Even I have my days when I look in the mirror and all I see is a ugly ole lady. But I always give myself a good hard shake and remind myself that beauty comes from within AND beauty is as beauty does!
CG gg

[kathy gg]

Jesse, the first thing I would answer in regards to this post is that *beauty* is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What I consider beautiful, you may not.

As for *tradtionally* handsome men....well I can appreaciate male handsomeness, but the person may only be truely beautiful if once I got to know them and figure out for myself if they are as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.

To me, my husband is absolutly handsome and gorgeous and everything about him makes me melt and makes me so happy he loves me right back. Is he GQ movie star material? Probably not....but to me is a gorgeous as Brad Pitt or any movie star. he looks that way to me because he is good to me, treats me with love and respect and makes me laugh and knows how to make me feel better when I am sad.

When the day comes {and for everyone's sake I hope it eventually does} and you find someone who loves all that you are as a person, inside and out, you will understand how one person can be with another. Even if that person may not look like the traditional idea of handsome or beautiful.

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

[JoJoGG]

It's not whats on the outside it's what's on the inside that counts. Beauty is only skin deep it's how you feel about a guy and how they make you feel when you're with them. I am with a guy that is heavy but his weight has nothing to do with it. No he don't look like some movie star but he is the person i fell in love with. Also the person i'll love forever no matter what happens.

JoJoGG

[toygun22]

not to sound icky, but the biggest problem with being a real cick is periods, that is why im glad im a cd..haha

[Jesse69]

Well, multiple childbirth pregnancy is a real pain too. Saw a woman with sextuplets on tv and her stomach was so big I thought it would explode!

[Paulacder]

Lookat it this way the advantages of being a Crossdresser over a Real woman is that a Crossdresser 1. Cant get Pregnant 2. Don't have Periods 3. Cant get Yeast Infections