questioning ones sexuality

[Snookums]

sometimes I wonder,when I come here and read some of the threads where ones sexuality is questioned by ones SO.
The SO's sexuality is never the issue,it is always the CD's sexuality that is questioned.Why is it never the SO questioning her own sexuality.Why is it when the man likes to dress in womens clothes,shoes,pantyhose,bras and whatever sets his trigger,his sexuality is questioned or becomes an issue.Could it be the SO may feel like a lesbian if she is turned on by her man dressing to the nines,looking as good as she does.
Many marriages have failed because we are not afraid to be individuals,we never harm anyone,what I do does not directly affect anyone.
When women wear mens clothes,is their sexuality ever questioned,if it isn't why not?
I hope no one is offended by this.

[Yes I am]

Do you really wonder why a person would question the sexuality of a man who enjoys dressing like a woman? Plus, being bi and female is chic now.

[Ellaine]

Quite right..Be Bi, or be square!


Purrsonally, I'm as discerning about sex as I am about food.


I'll eat anything non-processed!

[noname]

Do you really wonder why a person would question the sexuality of a man who enjoys dressing like a woman? Plus, being bi and female is chic now.

I had given some thought as to why a chic can dress as a boy and by bi and it's all cool. I think it's party because a women are permitted to show sexuality, while a man displaying sexuality is considered pervert.

[Paula Thomas]

noname - I believe that you have a good point ("I had given some thought as to why a chic can dress as a boy and by bi and it's all cool. I think it's party because a women are permitted to show sexuality, while a man displaying sexuality is considered pervert.").

I view "bi" as having the best of both worlds, but men are expected in our society (as a whole) to be heterosexual only, while it is more accepted for a woman to be bi.

I believe that this is because men (generally speaking (writing?)) get turned on by the thought of having sex with more than one woman at a time, and watching them get "hot and bothered" by paying sexual attention among themselves as a prelude to the man joining the women (who then turn most of their attention to "him", because he is the "sexiest" of them all).

Generally this is pure wishful thinking on the man's part (but we generally don't care - men are pigs).

Due to this mindset, society as a whole is more accepting toward women that wear "men's" clothing.

This is also due to the need for women to take "men's" jobs during relatively recent wartime (WWI, WWII), and the resulting need (if only for safety purposes) to wear traditionally "men's" clothing (e.g., pants instead of skirts) around machinery.

This made it acceptable for woment to wear "men's" clothing, and such acceptance was not "negated" when the war.

Note - In some non-American (non-European?) societies, women have worn pants for a long time, and men wear what appear to be dresses.

But that is based on their societies' evolution and modes of clothing (e.g., Arab's robes protect the wearer from the desert's heat better than just pants).

[flatlander_48]

sometimes I wonder,when I come here and read some of the threads where ones sexuality is questioned by ones SO.
The SO's sexuality is never the issue,it is always the CD's sexuality that is questioned.Why is it never the SO questioning her own sexuality.Why is it when the man likes to dress in womens clothes,shoes,pantyhose,bras and whatever sets his trigger,his sexuality is questioned or becomes an issue.Could it be the SO may feel like a lesbian if she is turned on by her man dressing to the nines,looking as good as she does.
Many marriages have failed because we are not afraid to be individuals,we never harm anyone,what I do does not directly affect anyone.
When women wear mens clothes,is their sexuality ever questioned,if it isn't why not?
I hope no one is offended by this.

Rarely questioned, unless the woman goes a bit too far. History is filled with images of people like Annie Oakley, Joan d'Arc and Rosie the Riveter. Strength in women was usually respected, but perhaps not really appreciated until fairly recently. Conversely, when people hear about Bob the hairdresser, their vision is stuck in the stereotype. It might be hard for Bob to convince people that he is actually straight.

[Karren H]

Well I don't know why an SO would question her sexuality just because her husband likes to dress like a woman...(feel free to change "her" to "him" if that be the case...) I mean they are two independent beings and neither one's sexuality has anything what so ever to do with the other's sexuality! Not a case of guilty by assocoation or not a communicable disease!! Hehehe. Well at least I hope not!! Hehehe

Now if she was dressing like a guy, not shaving and adding extra body parts that she wasn't born with then that's a different story..but that's atypical in my opinion.

And even if it fashionable to be bi....I was always a nonconformist anyway...ok a conservative, hockey playing! coal mining, nonconformistish type person. Lol


Love Karren

[Casey Morgan]

Rarely questioned, unless the woman goes a bit too far.

Rarely questioned is right. From what I understand many people just assume she's a butch lesbian.

Snookums, just wait a while. You'll read many threads where SOs question or have questioned their sexuality. Or better yet, search through past posts. It seems to be part and parcel of being the SO of an MTF CD.

Karren, think about if you discovered your wife told you she was a furry My apologies if that's not the correct word; no offense is intended. I would imagine that part of your acceptance of her would involve some questioning of who you are. OK, maybe not you but it would be true for many, certainly for me. That questioning may not last long and I may end up saying that I'm quite simply somebody who's in love with a furry, but that questioning would happen.

[brandie]

my wife WAS IN TO IT AT FIRST BUT NOW SHE CANT UNDER STAD IT.
JUST BECOUSE I LIKE WEMONS CLOTHS DOSENT MAKE ME OR USE LESS MEN

[Karren H]

Karren, think about if you discovered your wife told you she was a furry My apologies if that's not the correct word; no offense is intended. I would imagine that part of your acceptance of her would involve some questioning of who you are. OK, maybe not you but it would be true for many, certainly for me. That questioning may not last long and I may end up saying that I'm quite simply somebody who's in love with a furry, but that questioning would happen.

Maybe its just me and my logical engineering thinking here but if my wife came to be today and said she was bi or lesbian or wanted a sex change...why whould I question my sexualality? I still like women and if she doesn't want to be one anymore then that's a problem.. But her changes in sexuality have no effect on my sexualaty..

And I would still love her...but if she became a he then the sexual part was over.. What am I takling about...married over 30 years...sexual part was over a while back. Hehehe

So I can see how my wife was very concerned about me being gay when she found out I crossdressed but she did not question her sexuality...she questioned mine!!


BTW, what is a furry anyway?


Love Karren

[Marla S]

When women wear mens clothes,is their sexuality ever questioned,if it isn't why not?

1.) Male sexuality is always questionable. Either it's pervert, sexistic or boring. Each is a No-Go.

2.) The category "Men dresses to look pretty in a feminie way" simply doesn't excist. That's why it is searched for something known. The closet you can get by known categories is "gay", though this is a different level. As hurting and as wrong it might be, it gives some inner peace.

[Sheila]

Snookums,
Sorry but I have to disagree about the SO's sexuality never being questioned, OH BOY IS IT, It is one of the very first questions an SO asks themselves and the SO can be MALE OR FEMALE because SO's come in all shapes, sizes and two sexes

[LouiseCassell]

Snookums,
Sorry but I have to disagree about the SO's sexuality never being questioned, OH BOY IS IT, It is one of the very first questions an SO asks themselves and the SO can be MALE OR FEMALE because SO's come in all shapes, sizes and two sexes

well said

[Casey Morgan]

Maybe its just me and my logical engineering thinking here but if my wife came to be today and said she was bi or lesbian or wanted a sex change...why whould I question my sexualality? I still like women and if she doesn't want to be one anymore then that's a problem.. But her changes in sexuality have no effect on my sexualaty..

BTW, what is a furry anyway?

You seem to have yourself all figured out in that department. That's a good thing by the way. But from what I've read in posts on here, the thought process seems to go like this:

"OK, he likes to be a woman. OK, I think I can handle that. Wait, I still want to be with him. If I want to be with him when he's a she, does that mean I like women? Does it make me a bisexual?"

See, it wouldn't be questioning your sexuality because of hers. It would be questioning your sexuality because she's a man, even for brief periods.

And a furry (or otherkin) is someone who, and I'm going to get this wrong so please forgive me, identifies not only as male/female but at least partly a particular animal as well.

[Snookums]

You seem to have yourself all figured out in that department. That's a good thing by the way. But from what I've read in posts on here, the thought process seems to go like this:

"OK, he likes to be a woman. OK, I think I can handle that. Wait, I still want to be with him. If I want to be with him when he's a she, does that mean I like women? Does it make me a bisexual?"

See, it wouldn't be questioning your sexuality because of hers. It would be questioning your sexuality because she's a man, even for brief periods.

And a furry (or otherkin) is someone who, and I'm going to get this wrong so please forgive me, identifies not only as male/female but at least partly a particular animal as well.

woof

[eleyna]

The SO's sexuality is never the issue,it is always the CD's sexuality that is questioned.

Because usually the SO can resolve that on their own, whereas the CD is the person attempting to undergo a change and be understood.

When I go to catch a train and it arrives late, I don't think "why did I get here so early".

[Sky]

...Why is it when the man likes to dress in womens clothes,shoes,pantyhose,bras and whatever sets his trigger,his sexuality is questioned or becomes an issue.

Because some of us take it a step further and -in addition to dressing- do like women do.

Or didn't you know it?

[eleyna]

CD: For years I've kept my interest and passion for women's clothes a secret. I tried to deny it, I tried to hide it, I tried to make it go away. I've spent all those years questioning "why" it even matters to me.

Wife: I'm straight, I was yesterday, I am today, I like wearing womens' clothes not looking at them, I liked looking at you in mens' clothes. Now you want to wear womens' clothes, which does nothing for me. It does make me wonder the same "why" questions about you that you've had 15 years to deal with. Do I suddenly feel lesbian? Nope. Why would I? I never thought, this marriage is ok, but what I'd really like is to take my husbands panties off before love making. If men in skirts turned me on I'd live in Scotland. Eddie Izzard never turned me on. What's to question?

[admirerplus GG]

Snookhums,

I think that you have brought up a very good point about how people apply a double standard when it comes to sexuality. It seems to me that there have been a considerable number of social influences on what is considered "normal sexuality".

I am not very knowledgable about Victorian times. However, I believe that at that time women were expected to be non-sexual. Women were expected to simply lay back, spread their legs and think of England. A woman who expressed her sexuality during those times was considered a ***** and of a lower social status.

It seems to me that there has been a general philosophy in North America that females should be "good girls". There has always been a mystique about female virginity and its relative value. Females who are sexually forward with men, or make the first move, are still often considered "desparate".

My basic point I am trying to make is that many GGs are just starting to discover that it is O.K. to be sexual. It is a relatively new concept for many women that there is nothing wrong with expressing our sexuality. Some women may still be confused about their own sexuality and what they consider appropriate.

I thank God for you wonderful CD girls! Maybe you can help some of us GGs to become more sexually liberated.

[eleyna]

I thank God for you wonderful CD girls! Maybe you can help some of us GGs to become more sexually liberated.

Bah - you just want them for yourself! =)

[Megan72]

Sexuallity is a personal choice as many have stated. To question the sexuality of a person that looks like the opposite gender is IMO only normal. Just because your sexuality is questioned does not automatically change your choice. Over time I guess the argument could be made for labeling and therfore maybe causing you to question yourself.

Also as may other threads have presented, the person choosing to dress as the opposite sex may often question themselves. In reality, who cares. American culture is so busy trying to not offend anyone that we may be seeing a situation that allows us to engage in our passion of dressing as the other gender, male or female. Hence the new terms, Metro-sexual, Retro-Sexual. Maybe the atmosphere is changing to allow real tollerance towards the alternative lifestyles.

[Lanore]

I just love women and I love feeling like one.

Lanore

[Tree GG]

Now if she was dressing like a guy, not shaving and adding extra body parts that she wasn't born with then that's a different story..but that's atypical in my opinion.

Love Karren

Hmmm, feel free to change the "she" to "he" and "guy" to "girl" - where are we?

Questioning the CDer's sexuality is just a question - pretty easily resolved by word & deed consistancy.

As far as the SO's sexuality, it's a question of responding to the added paraphenalia and body parts, and separating the Man from the girl. A duo becomes a trio - gets a bit confusing.