Why do i do this?

[Bea_]

I love being a dude. But, in sixty-eight years of being a dude, there's never been any feelings of being anything special as a dude. I've always been average in just about every measure, height, shoe size, endowment, anything. As my wife and I went into the empty nesting phase there was a major crisis that appeared in our marriage. As that crisis began to fade my need to express femininity appeared. And, once it appeared it stayed. Since I'm straight, there's nothing about men's wear that gives any sense of being special. Now, women's wear and fashion, that's something that is special. When I wear those things i feel the same sense of being special that seeing my wife dressed up gives me for her.

My wife has never been one to give any kind of compliment for how I looked or dressed. I met the minimum standard but, other than that, nothing... Since she didn't really notice how I looked in drab, why would I desire more of the same. I've come to the point of needing to feel something other than "minimum standard". Even if my wife nor anyone else sees how I dress as special, I feel it. That's why I dress...

[Alaina R]

Why? Certainly for a lot of guys it started with a serious sexual desire which is pretty powerful but truly everybody is different as to why.
At some point I told myself I'm not responsible for it (I didn't ask for it) but I am responsible to it. This means I accepted the truth of my situation and stopped telling myself stories that weren't really true. I also realized that at some point I had to come clean in romantic relationships because my needs were going to affect it.
I'm very lucky in that a good marriage made all these problems go away but that was my take long before the marriage

[*Cindy*]

I really struggle as I keep kicking Cindy out of the closet and tossing all her stuff in the trash. and after it is gone it hits me what I have done to her and feel sorry. I wish there was a close friend to talk to when I do this to help me stop hurting her/me all the same as I am Cindy.

[SylphDevine]

Yeah purging is a thing. I've done it a few times.

But not any more, and I LOVE all my lovely girly things. With my wife (and here) it's a safe space. I work in retail part time, and when I help gg's with makeup I often say "well I don't wear makeup". Their response is almost universal.."you should try it sometime, you might be quite surprised at what happens". That's always a rush, feeling that kind of anonymous acceptance. It appears a LOT of women out there appreciate the feminine side of men.

[Cheryl T]

I spent many years in "Wonder"-land.
Finally I accepted myself and then wondered why I hadn't done it much sooner.
The What Ifs of life will make you crazy. It's better to embrace and enjoy.

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Have fun

[Suzie Petersen]

Teresa,
I am going to send you my wifes phone number. Could you please have you wife call her as soon as possible!

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

eight charters

[Suzie Petersen]

That is awesome Teresa, that is very good of her and a very important thing to do. I am certain she has made a big difference for them.

Yes, my comment was nothing but wishful thinking. I have no hope that it would make any difference unfortunately.

[Jade P]

Why do I do this? I do this because I am gender fluid. I underdress daily. I also wear makeup at home and nightgowns to bed. I dont feel the need to live full time as a woman. My wife is not accepting so I have tried many times to stop, but I could not stop. In 2018 I accepted my gender fluidity and I love the way I am.

[Donnell]

For a long time I never questioned it. I just liked it. Then after coming out to my wife and discussing it, she asked that question. WHY? I then realized I too had to find that answer. I was suddenly confused. I did some reading and thinking about it and realized my interest started back around age 8. I enjoyed the look of women's clothes. I would play with paper dolls and mix match clothing on them. Cut out clothes from magazines and place them on them. Later on, my mother sold women's clothing at in home parties. I used to see women in various things and I loved how they looked. At age eleven I wore my first bra and panty. My mothers. They felt great, to me, I looked great. That lasted a year. My teens, the desire was not there. After marriage in my 20s it came back. I enjoyed the feeling and looks of my wife's panties on her. It became a sexual thing and hidden fantasy. It escalated to sneaking her, her mother's and her sisters undergarments all to fulfill my sexual desires. I hid that from my wife for over 40 years. After I retired. The impulse to wear became stronger. It became something to do that I enjoyed to pass the idol time. It became an escape for me from my everyday worries and bordom. It got so strong I had to tell my wife. She listened, she accepted to some extent and set ground rules for me. She told me she had realized it years prior. So my answer is....my reasons have changed through the years.

[sometimes_miss]

Over the years, I've read a few people's contributions telling of why they thought that we all crossdressed (or just wanted to). I've been reading psychology books since I was 14, and borrowed my sister's psych 101 textbook from the stack of her college books that she always left on the hallway table. It's quite easy to say, that the world didn't have much of a clue about transgendered people back in 1969. But I kept at it; luckily living right next to Manhattan, I had easy access to the New York city public library, and likely spent thousands of hours there, reading everything I could, desperately hoping to figure myself out. Well, it was going to take thousands more hours, too. Every textbook, every periodical, and later, everything on the net I could find. So we're looking at a half century of reading everything I could find. And yes, there are several ideas about where the desire to crossdress and/or be transgendered comes from. Now the bad news; there is no standard answer that covers everyone. Some may have resulted from abnormal hormonal changes before birth. Some are purely socially influenced, but that theory is generally ignored, as it would get all the folks who want to 'treat us' to get rid of those bad old transgendered feelings, as if because it was caused by our experiences, well then it must be reversible, right? Well, no. We are a total of all our experiences, and none can easily be just erased from our minds. Even with ECT the memories often eventually start to come back. I could go on for many pages about all the possibilities, but you can start, by reading my bio in the writer's forum, link is at the bottom of my post here.
You may message me with any questions; I will do my best to answer what I can, and perhaps join you in your search for any information that I haven't read yet.
But with any luck, over time, you will find out why you feel the way that you do.
Stay curious.

[Debbie Denier]

I still haven?t found the definitive answer as to why and probably never will. Only that it is the perfect escape from normal life and that I enjoy it.

[Cheryllynn]

I've never been able to answer that question, but after I simply accepted Cheryllynn as a part of me it really doesn't matter. I find it relaxes me and enhances my creativity, along with helping me forget some of the day-to-day stress. Stopping the buy-purge-buy cycle also helped me to accept myself...my wife is aware and somewhat supportive but isn't interested in me dressing around her. I can paint my toes and wear leggings; and I shave my legs. Sorry for rambling on a bit there, but I guess my advice overall is simply DON'T WORRY about the why. Accept yourself and you won't really care WHY. You'll just want to buy more clothes. lol

[Jane G]

Tis what it is. Enjoy what you have in life. As far as I know you only get one go at it.

[CynthiaD]

Some things can’t be expressed in words. I can’t verbalize it, but when I look in the mirror and see a woman looking back at me, I know why I do it. It’s a good thing, and I’m proud of it.

[Maria 60]

One night last week we were walking in the mall and it was warm outside. My wife asked me why I was pulling up my pants all the time and why I was wearing long jeans in that warm weather. I told her I was wearing long jeans because I'm was wearing pantyhose and I was pulling up my pants because the pantyhose are control top and they tighten my waist and the silkiness make my pants slip down. Her next comment was why do I do this to myself and not just dress comfortable.
I told her that's a great question and explains where my mind is, I have to do what I have to do at any price and any discomfort. I told her I guess life would be to easy and boring if I didn't have these feelings, in which she answered one thing for sure our life is very interesting with my little habit. I guess we are all in the same boat.

[AllieBellema]

It's hard to explain, but there is some sort of joy I get when I dress up. I got a permanent frown face, but when I do dress up and see myself in the mirror... I can't help but smile. I'm glad this is a part of my life!

[NancySue]

I join many others. Since my youth, I?ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out Why me? Is it genetic? All I know is it?s in me. Here to stay I?ve pretty much stopped caring Why, but occasionally think about it. Occasionally my supportive wife and I will talk about it, especially when the pink fog rolls in. No conclusions. It?s so enjoyable, shopping, dressing, makeup, etc. I?ve totally accepted it and enjoy. Life?s too short.

[Cheshire girl]

I was always fascinated by seeing females and their impractical clothes shoes makeup and other things. When I saw a woman tottering down the street in a tight skirt I just so envied her. Now I?m able to do all those things. I never thought I?d achieve the position of being able to go out dressed as a woman and do girlie things. Going to beauty salons or visiting ladies wear shops and bra boutiques is especially liberating. Summer?s here. What would I want to do more than get dolled up in a summer outfit?!

[Glenda58]

I golf and dress. Just last week golf with new shorts and a cute top.

[Heather76]

I've never asked why I do this, but I have asked why I didn't discover this side of me 50 years ago. I wasted what could have been a lot of great years cross dressing.

[Samantha43]

It is what it is. I've been crossdressing for almost 50 years, since I was 12. I took a nine year break when raising my kids to coach, be a scoutmaster, be a band geek dad and be involved in their lives. I thought about my feminine side every freaking day. It never went away. Their lives were more important, so I managed. I got caught when they came home early from visiting grandma one Sunday. "Daddy, You're dressed like a girl". They immediately accepted me for who I am (my wife was pissed....but got over it). It was life changing. My daughter is a cosmetologist and gives me girly gifts for Christmas and my birthday. My son understands who I am, but we don't talk about it. I have a great relationship with both of them. All that being said. If I was offered a blue pill or a pink pill. I'd take the blue pill and be done with this.

[Claire81]

Really interesting seeing everyone's experiences. I can't speak for anyone else... For me, I gain comfort and serenity that I've never been able to obtain elsewhere. And I have tried...
❤ Claire

[Barbra54]

I find it relieves stress. I'm alone while slipping on lingerie and the smoothness and tightness of it all is extremely relaxing.