Venturing outside

[Kris Burton]

I've found it's much like going on stage or public speaking - terrifying at first, but you warm up to it quickly once you begin. That feeling never completely goes away, but over time you learn you turn those fears into excitement of the moment and actually begin to enjoy it. As many have pointed out, once you realize you are not the center of attention you thought you were it gets quite a bit easier and more fun.

[SylphDevine]

I have never gone out in public, but probably would if I could either (a) talk my wife into making me up to pass, or (b) connecting with another CD to do the same thing.

Probably why I haven't done it up until this point.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've found it's much like going on stage or public speaking - terrifying at first, but you warm up to it quickly once you begin. That feeling never completely goes away, but over time you learn you turn those fears into excitement of the moment and actually begin to enjoy it.

I think of it like taking a swim in cold ocean water. You can take it step by step, getting you toes wet, then stepping in up to your ankles, then calves, knees and thighs. I prefer to start 50 feet back and run into the ocean at full speed, until it gets deep enough to dive in.

[Cheryl T]

First time was 2005 and it was scary.
When I realized all eyes were not on me it got so much easier. Now I don?t give it a second thought.

[TheHiddenMe]

First time was scary, and I went back into the closet for about 10 years--10 years of wasted time.

I dabbled a few times in2014 and 2015, then tore the band-aid off in 2016, and haven't looked back. I have probably 100 threads of my outings in the picture folder, just a lot of posts at Kandis-land.com. Been to a concert and a musical the last 6 weeks, a bar with a band a couple of times, flown four times, a baseball game, etc. It gets easier, and I've made friends and never had a bad experience.

[Jenn A116]

Jennifer has been out in public a few times. I've been to group meetings in a secure location and I've been to Girls Night Out at public places. Both scary and exhilarating.

[Karren H]

My first time was when I was 16. It was amazingly scary and exciting. I can still remember every single step outside.

[Geena75]

My first time out was about 3 years ago. I wore a covid-type mask and went to a couple monuments in a neighboring town. I was pretty nervous but felt better after seeing my reflection in the car windows. It took a couple more similar outings before I had the nerve to go into a store or have anything like an interaction with someone. Since that time I progressed to going out mask-less and fully made-up. I've not had a negative reaction (thus far) but have gotten several compliments and was hit on once.

[stefcd1]

My first time was over 40 years ago when I was first out of college and out on my own. I walked through a mall looking in the windows only I was scared to death. The second time out I went dress shopping and I remember a sales lady staring a hole in my back. Then marriage and kids halted all my dressing and adventures until early 2000's when wife of 18 years left me for another woman. She knew about my crossdressing before we married and said she liked it but then 5 years into the marriage she did about face and said she would leave if I kept it up. Go figure this one out.

Now I stay dressed pretty much all week as I work from home and get out as a woman at least several times a week. My favorite thing to do is dress shopping in Macy's and Dillard's. Rarely ever buy as their dresses are expensive but get a blast out of trying on all the beautiful dresses.

[Lori Anne]

The first time was about the scariest thing I had ever done. I still get nervous, but it gets easier.

[Maid_Marion]

I got a nervous looking for the ladies restroom at Walmart!
I wasn't sure where it was so a lady at the Customer Service counter helped me out after I backed out of the maintenance area.
"Yes, thank you," I replied. First time I've used the ladies room even though I know exactly how to pass.
I hovered over the toilet, almost, but not quite sitting down.

I was wearing my black booties and had my hair down for an early morning grocery run of inexpensive stuff.
Fresh bottles of dried spices, two fly swatters, some stuff to protect small gas engines from nasty ethanol, marigold seeds, bug spray, and a ten pack of Chex snacks.
No way was I going to find all that quickly.

Marion

[NancySue]

Actually, it was my wife who, justified, got tired of my talking about going out. Just do it. My goal was to blend in. She helped me pick things to wear. You never see hose or high heels in our area. OK no heels, but hose, yes. Tone down the makeup. Like most everyone else, I was terrified, heart pumping, that anxiety feeling in the pit of my stomach. We went to a large shopping center about ten miles away. My wife kept telling me to relax, yeah right. I felt like everyone was staring at me. Not. Things went well. Turn the clock forward, since retirement, I, we?ve gone out often. I still feel that anticipation, but it goes away. I now pretty much dress every day, which I so enjoy. If we run errands, I?ve both stayed in the car, or dab on minimal makeup and wig. I?m fairly sure I?ve been read, but don?t really care.

[Cheshire girl]

I’ve been going out dressed for many years. At first it was stressful but once I blended in I realised there were no limits. The first visit to the Ladies took some doing. I love shopping for clothes and lingerie as well as my frequent visits to the beauty salon.

[Glenda58]

The first time the hardest. You think everyone knows you are a guy in a dress.

[Andrea Renea]

The first time I went out I felt like everyone
was looking at me but they weren't.

I go out now shop around people. Talk to
the sales clerks.

Just a fun and routine experince.

[ronny0]

I don't think it has been mentioned, but 'going out' at least for me was at first not in public. Well first times out the door were either late at night, or in the back yard.
Late at night when everyone was either at the TV or in bed...... Then late night drives in the car, at first just to be out of the house then to the 24x7 local post office to return a DVD.
After doing that far too often then daytime to the distant super mall, only driving through the parking lot, too scared to even park and get out of the car. Eventually a few Sunday trips to buy a newspaper from the vending machine totally out of the way....
Finally a vending machine at a busy gas station, I though the world would end, but as others have verified nothing at all happened. More and more trips trying to avoid anyone being able to 'see' me.....
Then one Sunday I drove to one mall, then a second, parked the car got out and into the mall I went. To my total shock no one was yelling or pointing at me. Looking back my lipstick was awful and my attire was only so-so.
Well the attire did not draw attention, but it was nothing to be proud of either..... Any way I put on my happy face and committed to walking from one end of the mall to the other regardless of the reaction of those that saw me.
Truth be known, it was almost mind blowing........ I say this because no one really cared no one reacted, Wait that is totally not true!!! As I walked I tried to avoid eye to eye contact, specially to any guys.
What I did notice was that women specially those working along my route were actually smiling at me, not in a bad way, but in a accepting way, some even mouthed a 'Hi!' or "Hello!' to me as I passed.
I would say that back then from 20/30 ft away I am not going to jump out as being a guy in drag, but from 10 ft away their is no way I can pass 'in the daylight'. Still the shock for me was that no one had a negative reaction.
Like I said, I did avoid any eye contact with any guys, still another stunning feeling was that from a distance I could see that guys were in fact 'checking me out' and (from a distance) no one was laughing or pointing etc etc etc.
That first 'mall walk' was a eye opener. I took a few photos of what I wore, and looking back, it was not my best effort at trying to look 'normal'. Over the years I didn't venture out 'in public' 'in daylight' a ton of times. Still I did
make more and more short trips, eventually going to another mall & actually buying a few items, sales clerk said the blouse would look good on me.... Another asked it the 'Sears' pantyhose were for me, and I couldn't fess up to say yes.
Since then we have moved to a more conservative / more rural area and my trips have not happened at all in my area. Too small a town, and extremely high chance that I would out myself to those that are not as open minded as I would like.
Back years ago living in a metro area I did a lot of late night walks at Christmas time to view the decorations etc. Still avoiding the light of day..... When we were in the process of moving I reached out to a member of this site telling him/her
that I was moving into his area and looking for info, support, etc. After a few PM's the response was he feared for his job & status in the community. He chose to stop visiting this site, sad! Still.....
As I have said in other posts, wouldn't this be a wonderful world if we all just accepted everyone for who ever they feel then need to be, and not try to force others to conform to what many in society feel they should appear as.

[HollyGreene]

The first time, I was nervous, but not scared. I was in my teens and at the time my face was fairly androgynous, so with makeup I looked very convincing. I wasn't particularly muscular either, so clothes fit and looked right. I had fairly long hair that I was able to restyle.
I was wearing a skirt and top that I had long ago rescued, which my sister had thrown away. I went for a walk in a local park and nobody appeared to notice.

Step forward in time and it became a lot scarier as it was more difficult for me to disguise my older male features with makeup. I'm not a great makeup artist, so it's a bit hit-and-miss.
If I get it just right, I'll go out. If it's not so good, I usually just go for a drive.

[Bea_]

My first time out was wearing feminine items in male mode. I went to a coffee shop in a woman's top with some pearl jewelry. But, that morning was an early experiment with makeup and that part made the outing a failure. Since then I've been out in feminine items that were fairly stealth and I've learned to do a more subtle job of the makeup that enhances my eyes without being obvious.

I feel like I need to explain in each post that I am a bearded man whose style is more hybrid/androgynous/freestyle. I've slowly increased my tolerance for negative reactions. I have only faced one overtly negative reaction.

[SylphDevine]

I think it's unique and wonderful. Don't worry about explaining it with each post. I think that's unnecessary. Save it for n00bs who question you directly about it is what I would suggest. As a result of your actions I've been strategizing lately just how to do it. In other words, don't try to pass, but don't be afraid to wear something obviously feminine as part of the overall outfit.

Quite proud of you actually. You've got ***** to approach it this way. (self-edited)