Passing thoughts

[GypsyKaren]

The other night Kat and I went to her hairdresser to get my wig cut. Short hair! I love it. Anyway, afterwards we stopped at a local pub for a drink or three. It wasn't crowded at all, and there were two woman sitting at the end of the bar. As soon as they saw me they whispered to each other and giggled, so I knew I'd been made. Well, boo hoo. What to do in a situation like this? Why, go sit down right next to them, of course, so that's what we did.

They totally ignored us at first, boo hoo some more, but then they started talking to both of us. When they saw I didn't bite or wasn't going to eat their first born, they actually became quite friendly, and we sat and chatted for a couple of hours, having a good time. They just needed to be shown that us trannies are real sweethearts.

I consider myself to be a transexual, though I hate labels. We're all people, just some of us different. I have no plans for SRS because I'm married to a special lady, and I'm happy with myself as is. Anyway, when I first started going out into the world as the real me this year, after a lifetime of hiding in the closet, I was so obsessed with PASSING! I worried so much about looking like a "real" woman, it really was quite silly. I remember the first time I knew I'd been read, it shook me up so much that I didn't go out again for weeks.

I've grown so much this past year, I think I'm getting to be quite a special lady. I really don't care at all anymore about being read, or trying to look "real", because to me I'm real enough. All I try to do is look my best and be as nice to people as I always was before, and go about my business. I go out dressed a lot now, and I'm going to do it more and more, because that makes me feel real. I feel I pass to most of the people some of the time, and some of the people most of the time, and that's good enough for me. If some people I run into don't like it,well like I said, boo hoo. I won't shed a tear because I don't want to ruin my make-up.

GypsyKaren

[Laurie Ann]

Good for you Karen thats a great attitude.

[Jodi]

I agree Karen. confidence is 95% of it.

Jodi

[Paula Rae]

Hey Karen,

Goodness no, please don't ruin your make up. You sound as if you've got it all together and that is quite an accomplishment. Your thread gives me encouragement. You should be proud of your self. Thank you for posting this very good thread.

Ricki B

[susandrea]

Stand up to the gigglers and they always back down.

Be friends with them and they grow up fast!

Good for you!

[Emma Chase]

I love your approach .... awesome


Emma

[Rachel Morley]

I was so obsessed with PASSING! I worried so much about looking like a "real" woman, it really was quite silly.

Hi Karen,

There was time that I couldn't leave the house because I thought I didn't pass. Somehow in my mind, if I thought I didn't pass, then everyone would "know" that I didn't either. What I mean to say is that if I thought it...then that is what everyone else would think too.

Today however, things are much better If the definition of passing is that people ignore you or look at you the same way as they do when you are in "guy mode" then I pass all the time. But if the definition of passing means people truly think you are a woman, then I think I only pass from a distance.

But hey, I can totally live with the first definition (which is what usually happens) and I can even live with less than that providing that I wasn't victimized or laughed at too much. If you ever saw me up real close you would either definitely know or at least suspect. I know there are some girls here that would say don't worry about anything even if people give you a hard time, but I guess I must be a little too sensitive or thin skinned or something

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your experience because this helps. When I next get read I'll try to remember your post, and remember that as you said, people "just need to be shown that us trannies are real sweethearts"

Take care

[Tina Dixon]

Way to go

[cathy b]

hi karen
way to go help fight the ignorance of the world.i cong. you at least there is 2 more gg know no matter what we wear we are just plain old people like they are (well may be not just like them). double hugs.

[Phoebe Reece]

Good for you Karen. You handled the situation in the bar perfectly. Being made as a crossdresser (or TS or whatever) is not a time for terror or disappointment, but actually an opportunity to educate people. Those women you met will probably tell their friends good things about the encounter and even more folks will learn that "...trannies are real sweethearts."

[Denise01]

Good for you Karen. you did the best thing by not going away.

I had a similar situation as did Angel Darling in not wanting to leave the house en-femme as I did not feel I could pass and would be the subject to ridicule and off handed comments.

This past month, when away on vacation, I got the courage and went out with a TS I know and her wife. Her wife made me feel very good, when she commented that I passed very well.
For the first hour or 2, i was nervous and thinking every one was looking at me, but we were just 3 ladies out for a day of shopping.
After that, I gained my composure, and got confidence in what I was doing. From there on, just went about my business as if I should be there and was accepted as a lady all the time
It felt so good, so I can understand how you felt, after all your are one of the selected special Ladies

Denise

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Right on Gypsy! My experience has been that if you act like you deserve respect, you'll usually get it.

Actually the best line I've heard for this sort of situation is to walk to the people who are whispering and giggle, give them a confident smile and say: "I know you're too shy to ask for my autograph, but don't worry I'm happy to give you one." Just waiting to try it out myself. :evil:

[RachelDenise]

Karen, how nicely handled! Tatct and dignity go a long way. Very well done.

[Stlalice]

Karen,
I have long maintained in posts here and on other boards that "passing" is almost totally about your attitude and only incidently about your appearance. Say about 80 to 90% attitude and how you conduct yourself and the remainder about your appearance and if you dress to blend in that becomes a non-issue. Your experience in the pub in some ways paralells mine with one GG that flat out asked me one day "Just who the hell are you trying to fool?". My response was "Nobody - I'm just trying to live in a way that allows me to have a bit of peace in my own skin." Don't know what answer if any she was expecting but that wasn't it - she went off a most curious look on her face as if she had some thinking to do.

In another of your posts you mentioned that your work situation is such that coming out on the job is not a viable option - we share that situation and having to go to work in what I'll politely call "Boy Drag" can be a real PITA. The only good thing is that in a few years I can take early retirement and get on with my life - going full time, doing the RLT, and eventually SRS. Until then we just have to hang in there and keep a positive attitude.

[uknowhoo]

Thank you, Karen, for being such a wonderful ambassador.
I am very proud and appreciative. Hugs, Tammi