Originally Posted by
Beth-Lock
About groups having a screening process and this being something I might not have been aware of: No, though that was the reason they gave, but several times they did not reply to my emails, the whole thing dragged on for months, and in the end, they did not want to interview me over the phone which was their stated procedure. I think I must have said something in the emails that made a bad impression.
Eventually they invited me to a discussion group, rather than any of their socials, but it was the occasional social that i was really interested in attending. By then I had other problems and could not go at the time, and since have thought better of the whole idea. Eventually I wondered if I belonged there anyway, and if a group experience was for me at all.
I have been pondering at times getting more counseling and other help, but it is expensive and hard to find the right kind. i did talk to one person, (MTF), who confirmed my fears that you are likely to get the sort of answer that the counselor specializes in giving according to their world view, so it is all determined by selecting a counsellor.
These days I have been thinking of giving it up, but I am torn. Perhaps that was their problem with me, that they did not want someone who was ambivalent amongst them. Now, it is all water under the bridge, and I do not consider going to a face-to-face group a viable or desirable option anymore. I think the window of psychological opportunity to join a group has come and gone. I tried to approach the priest at the church to talk about it, but that led nowhere useful, though the conversation was friendly enough. It was just one-sided, with me making up all the things to say.
As for the matter of choice, there is not much to choose from here. There are only two groups in town, and the other is limited and more for transsexuals or those transitioning fully. So it is not as if I have a lot of options. But I would like to meet others socially, one on one, in a safe environment, just not in the kind of group that we have been referring to. Going to a group alone would make me very nervous now, and I would not know how to dress, etc..
So, that is my tale of woe!