My mind

[Maria 60]

I haven't been going on my Friday drives for a while, our neighborhood has been hit with car jackings and home invasions. The last time I went my wife had all the lights on the house and feeling uncomfortable so I desided to stop going. During the week my wife was staying at her parents house for a few days and when I was leaving she told me since she wasn't home her car needed gas and I should dress up and go. Well you know I did and it felt good to feel some outdoor air, even though I don't do much except maybe put gas or vacuum the car or put air in a tire that doesn't need air, but just feeling the outdoor air feels so good.
Well once I tested the waters again you know now I want to jump in. During the day yesterday my wife was coming home and she wanted to have a quit relaxing night, I automatically thought maybe I could go out again and give her space and my mind started racing. This is my point of why I'm writing this, my mind started planning and timing things out, when I get home on Fridays it's usually a few beers and a few glasses of wine with dinner, instead I didn't want alcohol in my system in case I wanted to go for a drive. I calculated everything out, did all my chores so I would leave a window of opportunity for me to go out. When my wife asked me why I wasn't drinking wine with dinner I told her I was thinking of giving her the night to relax alone and I would go for a drive. Instead the look on her face was she was probably hoping to go to bed early but with me out she probably wouldn't sleep. So I decided not go. My point is I couldn't believe how my mind was working yesterday, making sure I had all chores and things done to make sure I could have went out. If I would put that effort into other things maybe I would be a genius of millionaire.
Strange how our minds work, it must be worth all that effort