I came out to my family, coworkers, and friends that I would be transitioning to a female about 4 years ago. It went as could be expected. I got a lot of support, a lot of ambivalence, and some hate as well. One of the most surprising things though is that when I came out to my guy friends they fully accepted me! The didn't see me any different. They called me by my preferred name and pronouns. Saturday nights was always 'guy' night and we would play Playstation three Saturdays and go out to BW3's on the fourth Saturday every month. They kept me in the group. I felt so relieved. I invited them to my wedding and one of them was even my 'Man of Honor.' They were so happy for me.
But over the last year, things have started to slowly change. Hanging out on Saturday nights has been a consistent thing we've done for ten years. Instead of playing Playstation every Saturday, it became one to two times a month. Instead of going out to the bar and watch sports once a month, it turned into every 2 months or so. It's been about 4 months since we've all gamed together; more than 8 months since we hung out. We used to be in a group text chat and would post funny memes and make fun of each other's mom's and such. Now my texts and stuff go largely unanswered. I asked repeatedly if they want to get on the Playstation, but they say they are too busy. I have tried on 3 occasions the last several months to go to BW3's and get caught up, but they always come up with some excuse why they can't make it.
I saw on Facebook that last Saturday they were all out at BW3's and I wasn't told about it; or invited. I got ahold of my Man of Honor and he apologized that they didn't think of inviting me. I got a text from them tonight saying they will try to let me know next time. I also found out that they still game, but they play on Friday nights now.
I read about how friendships change after transitioning, and should have seen this coming. I understand that I am no longer one of the 'guys' and I won't take it personally. My Man of Honor and I are going to catch some drinks and a movie this coming weekend so at least I still have one guy friend left lol. I am touched that they have accepted me and supported me. It is interesting though going through this social transition. While I have lost a lot of my guy friends I have gained a lot of female friends. It is unusual going from talking about video games to talking about make up and clothes. My new CIS female friends have included me as I was one of them. While they may not play video games or eat hot wings, they are very fun to be around and are just as good as insults as my guy friends were.
I am going to miss my guy friends, but I am glad I am making new female friends. So I guess what I heard is true; Some friends will end and new ones will form after transition.
