Originally Posted by TommiTN
Many thanks TommiTN for your feedback. I would want more people relate exactly to the essays of the John's blog, instead of just chatting about.
Here is my detailed answer to the very interesting part of the blog "Cross-Dressed but Male".
Love
Nadia-Maria
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1. Varying "quality" level of CDing
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The CDing level required by the CDer - from just wearing undies or a pantyhose under male clothes, to full dressing femme including voice transforming - varies greatly among CDers, as well as during the life of every CDer.
Moreover, it can vary on a day to day basis.
As an example, everyday my need for CDing can be different. It is much like the weather forecast ; at times my crossdressing is very calm and a bit dull, so that bra, skirt and top will do it. At other times, my crossdressing is more bright and sunny and I need to be fully dressed up to feel really good. It may become even stormy and it will happen that I need to try compulsively my whole wardrobe and accessories, and constantly admiring myself in the mirror wearing different outfits, just like a real GG. At other times, I need to discover something new, for instance I will shave for first time a new part of my body.
In any case there are whole CDing sessions when I behave just as your classic "male in a skirt" : I can spent a whole day doing my standard male activities looking merely semifemme. There are others where I feel much more girlie with that overwhelming need to look as the sexiest possible woman so that I can’t do for hours almost anything productive but crossdressing and feeling femme.
2. CDer presenting herself as a man in a skirt
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I received the confidences of a fellow CDer, of a very masculine appearence, who used to present herself typically as "a man in a skirt", with no need to look really female. He ended by recognizing that - quite rarely - he needed to wear makeup and a wig. I observed it had been rather difficult for himself to acknolewdge her feminine behaviour ....
Obviously I won't generalize from just one case. However this example fits perfectly my own experience. I didn't pay much attention at my external female appearence for most of my life, since I was in the closet with no feedback from anybody.
Then, the most important was what happened within myself, whatever my very external appearence.
Early 2007, surfing on the net, I discovered the whole world of CDing and TGirls and had been challenged by the gorgeous pictures en femme showing the high quality level of transformation that most CDers are able to reach.
I rated my own level as near the bottom-end so that I tried harder ever since. My new aim was to reach a much better level of transformation enfemme, and to be able to go sometimes outside enfemme. The frequency of my CDing increased a lot, so that I had to come out to my SO, what I did in 2007 and I began going outside enfemme a few months later, early 2008.
That means I have been a man in a skirt for most of my life.
Note that I finally began wearing makeup and shaving parts of body as late as after 5 decades of closet CDing !
In my case, external feedback from the environment may have been decisive for own CDing.
3. A male fashion of pretty clothes
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When I came out to my SO, she suggested to buy me a scottish kilt.
But, for me, wearing a kilt has virtually no interest at all.
I need a skirt for girl-only, not a skirt specifically designed for men like a kilt.
A nice scottish skirt has a great deal of appeal to me.
Neither does a kilt with the same pattern of colors.
What is important for me is wearing *women* clothes. Hence, whatever the cloth's look or material, that means I want primarily to appear like a woman.
I often observe that other transvestites will claim otherwise. Many of them will tell you they favor the woman clothes uniquely because they are prettier and more comfortable and agreeable to wear, not because they are just woman clothes. They are sincere but I doubt they are always right, especially concerning undies. My SO bought me expensive male undies that are really wonderful to wear, and of a much higher quality than most woman undies I own,
Of course I prefer wearing these man undies, because they are more comfortable and so well adapted to my morphology ... and since - being not conspicuous - they don't alter at all my woman appearence.
4. Cross-dressed but Male, or "bright with cloudy intervals"
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Feeling like a woman is the summum pleasure for me.
Nevertheless, even with the prettiest woman look, I know I remain a male.
I am a male with female intervals. ("cloudy with bright intervals")
As many CDers will say, I am "a part-time woman". So that I am "Nadia sometimes".
I don't deny my male nature, so that I have no drive to be a full time woman, no drive to appear constantly to others as a woman.
This questioning is crucial for understanding crossdressing and assessing the differing varieties of crossdressers.
- Do you deny your male nature, or are you globally accepting its ?
The full time TGirl may deny on a large extent she is male, and will apply the ostrich politics to convince herself she can be - or at least as a first step - live constantly as a woman.
The TS denies she is male at all.
There seems to be a continuum from the large time TGirl to the TS.
You know well the saying : "What is the difference between a CD and a TS ? Answer : 2 years".
In fact it doesn't apply to the standard CDer. It may apply to the full time (or quasi full time) TGirl.
I believe it applies to whoever denies being a male.
Wanting to be LIKE a woman is different from wanting to be a woman.
Once, as a teenager, I wanted to be a girl.
Rather early , I decided I wanted it no more.
I now understand I decided at that moment I only wanted to be LIKE a woman.
Nadia-Maria
