Someone started a thread asking why we like to crossdress, damned if I can find it now and my aoplogies to the original poster for not remembering her name. Anyway, I have been pondering that very thing for a good while (decades) and stumbled onto a blog written by a British CD who is struggling with the same imponderable, except she's maybe making some headway. I thought it insightful enough to recommend it. Take a look at http://ybatv.blogspot.com.
I've always tended not to put a why to it and just enjoyed my dressing and don't care why. The only why I think about is why do people try to make thing so complex. Just do it and enjoy hun
Angie
I gave up trying to figure why I dress, why do I ride Motorcycles? Why do I collect comics? Why do I keep my toe nail clipings? Oh crap now i'm outted
Toe nail clippings?!?!? Ha!!! That's hilarious!!! I actually laughed out loud... I bet the neighbor heard me!Originally Posted by Tina Dixon
I gave up trying to figure why I dress, why do I ride Motorcycles? Why do I collect comics? Why do I keep my toe nail clipings? Oh crap now i'm outted
very well said bev i wish all women were as smart as you
I cannot put my finger on what caused me to want to dress but I can say why - I like to present pretty. Not that I am some super model or anything, but I like to show off my legs in hose, my pretty watch, and just look more on the femme side. I want to be pretty. I don't know what caused it.
Motorcycle riding - We all have a masculine hobby, a REAL masculine one, and that is just yours. I like to work on cars.
Comics? Well, we all have some kind of thing we do to hang on to a piece of our childhood. I like to play video games and I still like to take walks to many of the places I played when I was a kid.
Toenail clippings - Well, ummmm, Jeffery Dahmer used to collect body parts. His fridge actually sold on ebay - seating for 6 and plenty of headroom.
Maybe post your clippings on ebay or craigslist?
Last edited by Nicole Erin; 07-06-2008 at 07:48 PM.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
There was a report that when he invited his mother to his apartment to have dinner she complained about the neighbors. His reply was "Well, just eat the vegetables, then". (rim shot) Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all week. Tell your friends.
I've been doing it all my life and It used to bother me. But now I realize It's just a way of life for us guy's. And I don't care what anybody say's (except my wife) I hope to tell her soon. And after that what the hell. I'll wear anything I want in public.Daviolin
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A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.
My feelingsI've always tended not to put a why to it and just enjoyed my dressing and don't care why. The only why I think about is why do people try to make thing so complex. Just do it and enjoy hun
Angie
why can't it just be that we like the way the clothing feels and enjoy the colorful outfits.
Connie
For almost 40 years I tried to figure out why, what the hell was wrong with me. Now that I am 50 years old, I finally figured it out.
The why is because I like the feeling of women's clothes. And that is all the reason that I need now. I like it and I do it. I am not hurting myself or anyone else. So that is that.
Now on to enjoy the restof my life, Sometimes in a dress.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
I agree with Connie the feeling of the clothes and the colorful outfits and the sexy high heels that GG's wear.why can't it just be that we like the way the clothing feels and enjoy the colorful outfits.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Nothing beats a great pair of heels...
Tommi,
I'm British but it wasn't me
I have no idea why. I just know that I need to whenever I have the opportunity, and when I can't I miss it & look forward to when I can. I feel completely relaxed & a different person when dressed....unless I can't get my make-up right or ladder a new pair of stockings
Hugs,
Christi
ROFL..... good one!Tommi,
I'm British but it wasn't me
I am told by friends who have met my girl self that when I am totally en femme my whole demeanor changes, like it was a different person. I told them it was, it was Kate they were with at that time, and she's different from the boy. They said that it kinda creeped them out at first, but after awhile they got comfortable with her and simply dealt with her as a new person they had just met.I feel completely relaxed & a different person when dressed.
Oh, gee, do I know that feeling, first time Kate went out with her sister and wife to a mainstream restaurant in an attempt to have a girls night out, she was soooooo nervous about getting her makeup right and to just look like another woman in the crowd, not to overdo anything, it wasn't a club we were going to, where things are more tolerated.unless I can't get my make-up right or ladder a new pair of stockings
K
Many, great many thanks, Tommi, for sharing this link !!
At first glance it appears as something extremely insightful and interesting.
I am absolutely delighted to read and ponder this stuff in detail.
Congratulations for discovering this info and sharing with us.
Love
Nadia
Hi Girls,
This is the Fifty million dollar question isn't it. When my partner told me he wanted to Cross Dress I was totally ignorant and decided to go on a quest to find out more about it. I researched the internet, bought books and magazines and to be honest found that CDs are just as individual as any one else and there reasons for doing it just as varied My conclusion was that like the rest of society they cannot be put into a nice tidy box with a label on it. I also concluded that no one really knows the reason that they do it. Even if you were to say it was sexual, or because they wanted to be a woman and feel trapped in the wrong body, there still beggers the question why. Are they wired up wrongly, or judging by the amount of guys who do it, are they wired up correctly. Who is to say that CDing is not the norm for some of the male population.
There are those who cross dress for erotic reasons and those who dress as an expression of gender identity, and the underlying motive to CD can of course change over a period of time. Indeed I have heard some of you say that the sexual thrill diminished over a period of time, only to be replaced by a sense of well being and peace.
The article that you pointed us to Tommi was very interesting. I have studied similar theories around Childcare and how children can be affected through experiences as far back as in thier mothers womb. The Brain is fascinating. I expect nearly all CDs have a story to tell of an influential person or an experience that they had during Childhood, ( A defining moment) which made them realise they were different.
Some of the information that I found when I went on my search said that Transvistism was a Fetish, others said that it was a mental disorder, others referred to CDs as patients which indicated to me at any rate that CDing was an illness.
There was a definite emphasis put on the CD dressing for erotic arousal when dressed in female clothing, but there is plenty of evidence now a days to suggest that Cross Dressing actually has a calming effect on the individual and becomes an antidote for anxiety or depression. Men are under such a lot of pressure now adays to be in work, provide for families, buy nice houses and reliable cars , go on a family holiday etc etc, that without a Hobby to provide escapism, they would crack under the pressures of every day life. I dont wish to downgrade CDing to a Hobby because I know for most it is a way of life, but regular guys mostly indulge in some kind of interest be it football, golf, darts etc, and in my partners case its CDing.
I would imagine that the reason some doctors and psychologists think that CDing is a mental disorder is the depression that can sometimes accompany it. When you consider societies attitude toward it there is no wonder that some CDs are prone to depression. Quite often their job or their marriage could be in jeopardy if they are discovered and many find the inability to find an accepting partner very distressing and unbearably lonely. We all need love and acceptance for who we are and not for who society feels we should be.
The one thing that I really struggled with myself was the fact that as a culture we have a very narrow definition of masculinity. OK you all want to be as feminine as you possibly can be and theres no problem with that, however, this does not make you any less a man. Infact my own view of Cding is that any guy who can donn a dress and high heals has got far more balls than any regular guy has and is certainly a brave individual for challenging the status quo.
I love my partner to death and to be honest wouldn't have him any other way. Cding, although at times very demanding, and frustratingly infuriating, has given us something quite unique and special which we can both share together. Believe me after being married to a self obsessed Golfer for 16 years I consider a CD to be easy peazy lemon squeezy. Give me dresses, makeup and wigs over a set of Golf Tees any day of the week.
I do think though that before society begins to accept CDing the very people who indulge in it need to accept themselves. You are not social misfits, there is nothing wrong with you. I believe that the vast majority of men who wear womens clothes are creative, curious, experimental individuals who are full of character and the sooner they realise that the sooner the rest of the world will do. However, to balance that up, they can also be very self obsessed and ruddy annoying at times but then who can't be.
The next time someone asks you why do you do it. Ask them why not and see what answer they come up with. I doubt any of them could give you a concrete argument against it.
Bev
Bev:
Wow: great comments. Thanks for your insight.
Susan1974
I don't consider atypical behavior to be wrong or caused by glitches. I don't consider myself to be a CD or a female. In my opinion, saying that we are CDs trivializes our behavior. However, I accept the common usage of the term to describe us because other people who are like me don't object to it, and it is important to me to acknowledge our similarities. I consider myself to be a normal member of a social minority, feminine people. I am more feminine than the average male and less feminine than the average female. Since gender is a functional characteristic that is descriptive, prescriptive, and subscriptive, our gender behavior will always transcend our formal characteristics or biological sex. All gender behavior is nonmoral and not the product of having the right kind of brain. It's not right and it's not wrong and there's nothing wrong with our brains. People in social majorities who want to sanctify everything they do and want everyone to believe they are perfect in every way need to get over themselves. That kind of behavior is stupid and abusive. Someone should tag their brains and behavior as defective and corrupt.
Bev, that was one well written piece.
Personally, I suspect for me it is a way to change my reality. I tend to think more of it when I am less happy. Especially when the job gets to me. Multi-tasking can suck but, I do it all the time. After going to dances around Halloween though, the hundreds of compliments from the ladies is a BIG bonus. For not trying to pass at the dances, I still got asked twice by guys that didn't realize at first.
Furthermore, I have always enjoyed watching people, now I have a new perspective that I am finding that I really enjoy doing.
Brina
Bev,
That's one well written piece that says it better than I ever could.
When I started, it was for 'personal gratification' but now, it allows me the chance to escape from my reality & to be someone I'm not without the pressures that the male me has. As a result, I'm content to just dress & have no desire to 'do anything further'
I've also changed jobs over the past year and my new job is a lot more stressful. I've also noticed that my drive and desire to 'dress' has increased......Coincidence?
Thanks again Bev
And Tina....Toe nail clippings ??
Hugs,
Christi
Great Response Bev06....my hat is off to you....
Steph
Bev, that was beautifully summed up! I assume from your moniker that you are a Genetic Girl. You wouldn't happen to be John's SO from the ybatv blog, would you? From your writing it sounds as if you know John very well. If you are, please pass along my thanks to John for his insightful writing and to please keep it up.
Hi Tommi,
No I dont know John. My partner is called Jay and she doesn't ever come on here, mores the pity because she has some very good views on CDing.
Thanks girls though for all your kind comments. I know I do go on abit.
Take care
Bev
Bev, I expect there are as many reasons to dress as their are people who do it. Bottom line is, to me, it doesn't matter. I tried to understand it, and for a couple of years I had a job where I spent a lot of time alone as a security person and I had nothing to do but think. I went round and round til I realized that most of it was trying to decide which came first, the chicken or the egg. Doesn't make any real difference, truly.
I was lucky to have lots of help when coming to terms with being a CD the second time. The first time was decades ago with a shrink at a period in societal time when anything gay or trans was a mental disorder to the psych profession. I was slapped with the diagnosis of being a TS and put on that road. Took me a long time to realize I was on the wrong hiway. Stopped listening to the shrink and just sort of dealt with it as there was no internet and the only written material I could find on it was in trashy magazines that wasn't actual information at all. I just knew I liked wearing the clothes. (Hey, I was in my teens and not anywhere as worldly as teens are today)
Anyway, going in the army and watching two guys get a blanket party thrown in their honor for being stupid enough getting caught in the shower being friendly sort of scared me "straight" for awhile.
Decades later when Kate was making a lot of noise pounding on her cell's walls and door enough to make the boy miserable, I was lucky enough to have a few friends in the scene who helped me understand things better.
I have now arrived where I am, and there's no destination sign, so I can't really say where that is, but I am much happier.
Thanks for listening.
K
Hi Katheryn
I know I am being everso Green here but what the heck is a blanket party.
Bev
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