Someone started a thread asking why we like to crossdress, damned if I can find it now and my aoplogies to the original poster for not remembering her name. Anyway, I have been pondering that very thing for a good while (decades) and stumbled onto a blog written by a British CD who is struggling with the same imponderable, except she's maybe making some headway. I thought it insightful enough to recommend it. Take a look at http://ybatv.blogspot.com.
I've always tended not to put a why to it and just enjoyed my dressing and don't care why. The only why I think about is why do people try to make thing so complex. Just do it and enjoy hun
Angie
I gave up trying to figure why I dress, why do I ride Motorcycles? Why do I collect comics? Why do I keep my toe nail clipings? Oh crap now i'm outted
why can't it just be that we like the way the clothing feels and enjoy the colorful outfits..
Connie
For almost 40 years I tried to figure out why, what the hell was wrong with me. Now that I am 50 years old, I finally figured it out.
The why is because I like the feeling of women's clothes. And that is all the reason that I need now. I like it and I do it. I am not hurting myself or anyone else. So that is that.
Now on to enjoy the restof my life, Sometimes in a dress.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
I agree with Connie the feeling of the clothes and the colorful outfits and the sexy high heels that GG's wear.Originally Posted by connie johnson
why can't it just be that we like the way the clothing feels and enjoy the colorful outfits.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Nothing beats a great pair of heels...
Tommi,
I'm British but it wasn't me
I have no idea why. I just know that I need to whenever I have the opportunity, and when I can't I miss it & look forward to when I can. I feel completely relaxed & a different person when dressed....unless I can't get my make-up right or ladder a new pair of stockings
Hugs,
Christi
My feelingsI've always tended not to put a why to it and just enjoyed my dressing and don't care why. The only why I think about is why do people try to make thing so complex. Just do it and enjoy hun
Angie
Many, great many thanks, Tommi, for sharing this link !!
At first glance it appears as something extremely insightful and interesting.
I am absolutely delighted to read and ponder this stuff in detail.
Congratulations for discovering this info and sharing with us.
Love
Nadia
Hi Girls,
This is the Fifty million dollar question isn't it. When my partner told me he wanted to Cross Dress I was totally ignorant and decided to go on a quest to find out more about it. I researched the internet, bought books and magazines and to be honest found that CDs are just as individual as any one else and there reasons for doing it just as varied My conclusion was that like the rest of society they cannot be put into a nice tidy box with a label on it. I also concluded that no one really knows the reason that they do it. Even if you were to say it was sexual, or because they wanted to be a woman and feel trapped in the wrong body, there still beggers the question why. Are they wired up wrongly, or judging by the amount of guys who do it, are they wired up correctly. Who is to say that CDing is not the norm for some of the male population.
There are those who cross dress for erotic reasons and those who dress as an expression of gender identity, and the underlying motive to CD can of course change over a period of time. Indeed I have heard some of you say that the sexual thrill diminished over a period of time, only to be replaced by a sense of well being and peace.
The article that you pointed us to Tommi was very interesting. I have studied similar theories around Childcare and how children can be affected through experiences as far back as in thier mothers womb. The Brain is fascinating. I expect nearly all CDs have a story to tell of an influential person or an experience that they had during Childhood, ( A defining moment) which made them realise they were different.
Some of the information that I found when I went on my search said that Transvistism was a Fetish, others said that it was a mental disorder, others referred to CDs as patients which indicated to me at any rate that CDing was an illness.
There was a definite emphasis put on the CD dressing for erotic arousal when dressed in female clothing, but there is plenty of evidence now a days to suggest that Cross Dressing actually has a calming effect on the individual and becomes an antidote for anxiety or depression. Men are under such a lot of pressure now adays to be in work, provide for families, buy nice houses and reliable cars , go on a family holiday etc etc, that without a Hobby to provide escapism, they would crack under the pressures of every day life. I dont wish to downgrade CDing to a Hobby because I know for most it is a way of life, but regular guys mostly indulge in some kind of interest be it football, golf, darts etc, and in my partners case its CDing.
I would imagine that the reason some doctors and psychologists think that CDing is a mental disorder is the depression that can sometimes accompany it. When you consider societies attitude toward it there is no wonder that some CDs are prone to depression. Quite often their job or their marriage could be in jeopardy if they are discovered and many find the inability to find an accepting partner very distressing and unbearably lonely. We all need love and acceptance for who we are and not for who society feels we should be.
The one thing that I really struggled with myself was the fact that as a culture we have a very narrow definition of masculinity. OK you all want to be as feminine as you possibly can be and theres no problem with that, however, this does not make you any less a man. Infact my own view of Cding is that any guy who can donn a dress and high heals has got far more balls than any regular guy has and is certainly a brave individual for challenging the status quo.
I love my partner to death and to be honest wouldn't have him any other way. Cding, although at times very demanding, and frustratingly infuriating, has given us something quite unique and special which we can both share together. Believe me after being married to a self obsessed Golfer for 16 years I consider a CD to be easy peazy lemon squeezy. Give me dresses, makeup and wigs over a set of Golf Tees any day of the week.
I do think though that before society begins to accept CDing the very people who indulge in it need to accept themselves. You are not social misfits, there is nothing wrong with you. I believe that the vast majority of men who wear womens clothes are creative, curious, experimental individuals who are full of character and the sooner they realise that the sooner the rest of the world will do. However, to balance that up, they can also be very self obsessed and ruddy annoying at times but then who can't be.
The next time someone asks you why do you do it. Ask them why not and see what answer they come up with. I doubt any of them could give you a concrete argument against it.
Bev
Bev:
Wow: great comments. Thanks for your insight.
Susan1974
Bev, that was one well written piece.
Personally, I suspect for me it is a way to change my reality. I tend to think more of it when I am less happy. Especially when the job gets to me. Multi-tasking can suck but, I do it all the time. After going to dances around Halloween though, the hundreds of compliments from the ladies is a BIG bonus. For not trying to pass at the dances, I still got asked twice by guys that didn't realize at first.
Furthermore, I have always enjoyed watching people, now I have a new perspective that I am finding that I really enjoy doing.
Brina
Toe nail clippings?!?!? Ha!!! That's hilarious!!! I actually laughed out loud... I bet the neighbor heard me!I gave up trying to figure why I dress, why do I ride Motorcycles? Why do I collect comics? Why do I keep my toe nail clipings? Oh crap now i'm outted
very well said bev i wish all women were as smart as you
I don't consider atypical behavior to be wrong or caused by glitches. I don't consider myself to be a CD or a female. In my opinion, saying that we are CDs trivializes our behavior. However, I accept the common usage of the term to describe us because other people who are like me don't object to it, and it is important to me to acknowledge our similarities. I consider myself to be a normal member of a social minority, feminine people. I am more feminine than the average male and less feminine than the average female. Since gender is a functional characteristic that is descriptive, prescriptive, and subscriptive, our gender behavior will always transcend our formal characteristics or biological sex. All gender behavior is nonmoral and not the product of having the right kind of brain. It's not right and it's not wrong and there's nothing wrong with our brains. People in social majorities who want to sanctify everything they do and want everyone to believe they are perfect in every way need to get over themselves. That kind of behavior is stupid and abusive. Someone should tag their brains and behavior as defective and corrupt.
Bev,
That's one well written piece that says it better than I ever could.
When I started, it was for 'personal gratification' but now, it allows me the chance to escape from my reality & to be someone I'm not without the pressures that the male me has. As a result, I'm content to just dress & have no desire to 'do anything further'
I've also changed jobs over the past year and my new job is a lot more stressful. I've also noticed that my drive and desire to 'dress' has increased......Coincidence?
Thanks again Bev
And Tina....Toe nail clippings ??
Hugs,
Christi
Great Response Bev06....my hat is off to you....
Steph
Bev, that was beautifully summed up! I assume from your moniker that you are a Genetic Girl. You wouldn't happen to be John's SO from the ybatv blog, would you? From your writing it sounds as if you know John very well. If you are, please pass along my thanks to John for his insightful writing and to please keep it up.
Hi Tommi,
No I dont know John. My partner is called Jay and she doesn't ever come on here, mores the pity because she has some very good views on CDing.
Thanks girls though for all your kind comments. I know I do go on abit.
Take care
Bev
I've asked myself that too. Why am I spending this money? Why do I go through the extra effort needed to dress nicely? I'm still unsure. I like being someone else for a while, that's the best answer I can come up with. The peculiar part is neither side has much to do with the other unlike those who feel unified now.
Bev,
More's the pity indeed. I'm sure Jay would be welcome here and that we would all enjoy her thoughts. This is far and away the best CD forum. The level of intelligence and sensitivity here is just amazing.
Bev, you are one remarkable woman! I'm nominating your post in this thread for, "Post of the Month!"
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
I'll second the motion!
I sent an e-mail to Bev about her post and said it was one of the best responses I've read anywhere in quite awile....on any subject...very well aticulated, thought out and nailed the topic in my humble opinion.
I cant say why I crossdress. I must have been the feel I got the very first time at age 11 that I tried on my mothers nylon panty for the first time. WOW what a feeling. It just maade me want to do it as often as I could. After the first time I was hooked! The more I had that panty on just drove me to slips, a bra, a garter belt ( Mom had some very stylish late 40's and early 50's lingerie in her drawers), stockings shoes and a dress. I was all dressed up one night when I was 15, when they cam home early, OOOHH NO! I made a mad dash for my bed room still fully dressed, threw back the covers on my bed and got in. I pretended to be asleep when they walked in. What a rush! laying there in bed in her nylon lingerie and in her dress. BY the way mom and dad didn't say a word, perhaps they had no Idea I was dressed in moms clothes.
Maybe my rememberances of how wonderful it felt as a 15YO boy, to be all dressed as a girl still keeps me crossdressing to this day. I often times wanted to know what it felt like to be a girl growing up in the mid 1960's wearing all those short dresses they had back then. I often times I day dreamed about what it would feel like to be a girl walking the hallways of our school and just doing girly things.
Why you ask? I can't explain it. I don't know why. THere is no simple answer.
My wife begrudgingly acceepts my need to wear womens clothes with limitation. Wife doesn't allow me to wear skirts or dresses at home or in public and no makeup either but is open to most every thing else.
Last edited by serinalynn; 07-05-2008 at 03:41 PM.
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International Men Can Wear A Dress Too Day, Tuesday, May 15 2012
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