Has Anyone Been In Therapy?

[Lara Smith]

I would be very interested to know if anyone has been in therapy because of their dressing. If you have, what was the experience like and what was the result? Have you ever gone to therapy dressed? Did you find the therapist knowledgeable about dressing? Were they male or female? Anything else to relate?

[satin_luva]

Lara, when I was 16 I was in therapy not primarily for my dressing, but about other things in my life, such as school at the time and my friendship problems. However, towards the end of my first session my crossdressing instantly became a very big subject in which me and my female therapist talked about.
Near the end of that first ever session she asked me if there was anything else that I wanted to bring up before the session ended and I hesitantly said "yes, I have a bit of a fetish for wearing lingerie". And Helen (my former therapist) said "yes, your parents brought that up", so on and so forth. I began to shake terrified, worrying about how this would fare, but after that session in the afternoon I rushed home to dress up because coming out and talking about it to her was so comforting and was a great weight off of my shoulders.
I would say that I had about thirty of so sessions with her and in almost everyone of them my crossdressing took at least 5 minutes of the limelight. Sometimes most of the session which usually went for 50 minutes. Helen was very caring and understanding of my hobby, she even helped me figure out some plans for dealing with it if worst came to worst and how to put it into time management with everything else, as if she was my social mentor or something like that. I was very lucky to have recieved Helen as my therapist as it was the choice of my fathers' doctor who had the last word in the referral.

I miss talking to Helen

[Laurelanne]

"This is not a subject MOST will talk about im sure" but Yes I did for about 4 sessions when i was in the "I must be Nuts" period I was in my 20's The therapist was a joke in a suit had no real idea what CD ing was kept referring to it as Transvestitsism..prescribed some drug i never took told me that everytime i felt the urge i needed to put something in my mouth that tasted bad to retrain my brain (maybe he was hinting) after that money spent i realised that Pschology is a crock and rip off for the most part after all separate the word ........the rapist.

[Nikki A.]

To appease my wife I did. Basically what he told me was that as long as I was OK with it there was nothing wrong with it.
I wasn't hurting anyone and it made me happy. Better than drugs or liquor.

[KandisTX]

Been there, done that...

When I first came out to P**** (adoptive mother), she immediately put me into therapy and figured that would "fix" me. Fix me??? Hell, I didn't even know I was broke.

Later in life, after third wife left me, I voluntarily went to therapy and one day I decided that I was going to show up at the appointment as Kandis. Therapist was so happy that I did as it showed her that I was comfortable enough with her to let her into this section of my life and that had to be one of my greatest sessions at a therapist EVER.

Kandis

[Deborah Jane]

I was in therapy for other issues after splitting with my wife. I bought up the subject of crossdressing and my therapist [female] was very supporting and helped me come to terms with it.

[CharleneCD]

Three years ago after i had discovered this side of myself, my wife and i needed to go to counseling to deal with some of the issues it was creating. We searched for a therapist through the TG support websites so that we would get knowledgable advise. I never went dressed, but at the time i was mixing in a lot of Fem touches to my male look, so close enough. While we werent able to go as long as we would have liked do to moving out of state, what appointments we did have helped us both.

[BillieJoe]

At 15 I got into some trouble with the law because of my cd'ing. The judge ordered me to undergo psychiatric evaluation and counseling and group counseling. What a waste! After I was married my wife ordered me to go get more counseling because she wanted me 'cured' of this terrible thing I do. Again, what a waste of time and money....

[Phyliss]

In a nutshell, yes I have been in "therapy". Now, as far as my CDing goes, I've also "been there done that" mostly to satrisfy my wife. I got a few things out of the 20 or so sessions, but it reached at point where I was just spending my 50 min talking to hear myself talk.
No she never asked me to show up fully dressed, and I guess I'm kinda sorry I didn't ask if it would be OK. Great excuse to go out.

Generally I place "therapists" in the same catagory with shamans and witch doctors. Not to say it doesn't help those who need it, but at least for me it doesn't , or at least didn't "work" .... I'm still happy and I still like my parents.

[Emily Anderson]

I would be very interested to know if anyone has been in therapy because of their dressing. If you have, what was the experience like and what was the result? Have you ever gone to therapy dressed? Did you find the therapist knowledgeable about dressing? Were they male or female? Anything else to relate?

I went to three therapists, more related to marital problems than crossdressing. The first two were female and although not particularly knowledgeable about crossdressing, they were both very helpful, and being women they were also able to give me some tips and tricks on clothing styles, makeup etc. The third one was male, and had very strong views about crossdressing only being good for transsexual people... Needless to say I didn't stay with him for very long.

[Daintre]

Yes, I have had therapy for dressing as well as for other issues. I had a psychiatrist who was aces in what she did and she brought me out of a shell where I put myself, she taught me to love who I was. I can never repay her for what she accomplished in my life.

I understand that you have to want the therapy and the therapist HAS to be in the field, you may go through several before you find one who is right. I did in fact have a Mr Wrong, 5 minutes in a session, he wanted me to dress in front of him...no way and I was out of there.

[KimberlyS]

Does ours, hers, mine, and ours count. When the CDing issues came to a head my wife said if I wanted to save our marriage we would be going to counseling. It did not sound like much of a choice to me based on the way she said it. And she already had several references. But the clincher was they were all part of a counseling office housed within a seminary.

Well none of our counselors had any real CD/TG experience as you can believe based on where they were located. But it went better than I expected over all. The first was a pompous ahole in my book, but my wife could relate to him and he quickly went from ours to hers. The second for me was a gal and I could relate to her. But her TG knowledge was very limited but worked well as in teaching her about myself and other TG/CDs I became very sure of who I was. She also helped with some person things and improving relationship skills. The second joint one was a gal with "transgender" experience. She had worked with some gay/lesbians. But we got the relationship skills we needed from her. All of them eventually said there was nothing in the bible against or for CDing which seemed to be a major turning point for my wife. The first one took almost a year of prodding for proof and where before he stated I misunderstood his answer to the question, which was: "Was there anything in the bible against cross dressing?". Basically they helped with some personal issues and bettering our relationship skills so we could work out the CDing issues on our own. Thank god for insurance that covered most of it. There is a plus for CDing being considered a disorder when it comes to insurance.

Big tip is the first session is an introduction and interview both ways. If you do not think you can relate to them find another one, and another one until you get one you can relate to. For them to help you need to be able to fell comfortable with them so you will open up to them fully and honestly.

I went to my counselor once dressed as a guy in femme clothes once. She seemed a bit surprised at my comfort level and asked a lot of questions about my interaction with others as I had made 3 stops at stores before my session. Some of the other counselors may have had some explaining to do as the waiting room was half full when I got there and my counselor said I was getting a lot of looks. And over half of the time i went to my session in my daily mix of male and femme clothes with outer femme clothes androgenyous in looks.

One last tip. Do not end your session when you walk out the door. Get the most for your money. When you walk out the door your reality session starts as you apply things or ideas of change or trial and prepare for your next session. After each session, personal or joint my wife and I had our session after the session to discuss things. These lasted from 5 minutes to several hours. They were usually shortly after the session or within a day or two. We also both kept journals to keep thoughts, feelings, tasks, questions, and what ever else in. We both used them a lot and referred to them often. All of counselors seemed very surprised at the amount of time we put in outside of being with them.

[Alicia_lynn419]

I was in therapy for about 3 or 4 years. Originally it was not because of my crossdressing, but it did come up, and eventually become one of the primary focuses in therapy. I was fortunate to have a really sweet and wonderful Doc. She turned me onto to Helen Boyd's book (My Husband Betty) and suggested that both i and my ex wife read it (the ex never did). I even went to therapy dressed on a few occasions, and my Doc never made me feel out of place about it.

I still don't have all the answers.. I still struggle with the most common questions... But I no longer feel "broken"... most of the time.

[Cathey]

I never was, but I sure wish I had the B... to do it I just find it impossible just me I guess

[Debutante]

Yex, to several therapists, plus a gender group.... then my second wife is
a therapist, too. Needless to say: we discuss deep and psychically initmate
issues...

[Stephanie-L]

Yes, I went to a therapist to deal with both my CDing and my relationship with my wife. My therapist was knowledgable about CDing and TG issues, and did not treat me like a freak. In fact she encouraged my CDing and supported me as far as I wanted to go, including referals for hormones, surgery, etc if I want that. She also helped me realize that my CDing is a part of me that is not going away and my wife will have to learn to deal with it or I may need to leave her. I did attend two sessions dressed en femme and she was fine with that, even complimenting me on my outfit. The only reason I did not attend more that way was because they were usually just before work and I would not have had time to change, and I am not out at work yet. I was very lucky to find an accepting person to help me.........Stephanie

[Dawn Marie]

I am going now to a therapist at the request of my wife. She thinks it will cure me! But we all know that will never happen. But I still go. I have been comfortable with myself in the last few years with my CDing and have no problem going out dressed. I go now just to have someone to talk to about it, but unless I decided to go further with my dressing I think that I will stop seeing the therapist soon. I tried to get her to go with me in hopes that she might understand the need I have to express my other self, but she says the sessions are for me. I really want her to understand but when I try to tell her she does not listen. She just wants to know when I will stop.

[Amy Hepker]

Yes, I have gone to therapists before. The ones to go to are the ones you choose not the ones others (your wife or your relatives) want you to go to. The therapist will take the side of whoever sent you there. So, if you go yourself they will help you. If your are sent to one by someone else they will try to tell you you are wrong for dressing. Go to one yourself and don't be afraid, they will help you most of the time, if not go to another one. I have been to both Male and female. I have underdressed to the female ones, but just could not to the male one. I am not trying to impress males by dressing only myself.

[Nikki K]

Yes, I came out just this past Friday
It took a lot of courage; it took many interviews and discarded wannabe therapists; it was the most refreshing experience of my life.
I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel having been able to discuss my TG openly with someone. She was extremely receptive; not the least bit surprised (I originally sought her out to help with my depression; deep down I knew that the depression was caused in part by my TG so we had already had three sessions discussing non-TG aspects of my life); she remained professional yet compassionate and understanding.
Your experience, and the success or failure, comes down to finding the right therapist for YOU.
Right now I'm so deep in the closet even my SO doesn't know about my true self (and for this I feel deeply guilty) so I've been desperate to talk to someone about it but never had the courage. Now I'm so glad I found that courage.

Nikki

[FanciJewel]

Yes, I have been to 2 therapists. Each at the request of a wife. Not the same wife, but 2 different wives. The therapy sessions came on the heels of being discovered as a crossdresser by them. Both therapists were women that were approved by each wife. Both wives wanted me to go to therapy to get the "demon" out of my life. Each therapist helped me to be more comfortable with CD'ing. They helped me connect with support groups. They did not discourage me in any way from expressing my feminine sideas much or as little as I desired. I thought the therapists were very helpful. The wives made me stop going inspite of ther insistance to start. They each thought the therapists were "quacks". The first wife left. The second is still my wife and just last night we discussed going to the therapist together so that she can begin to learn how to adjust to my CD'ing. Life is full of funny twists.
Fanci

[Audrey34]

I've been in therapy for over 10 years now. I was seriously depressed and was even medicated for 8 years. My therapist is a wonderful lady who is very sympathetic to cd's. She was the one who encouraged me to embrace my feminine side, stop running from it and to join Tri-Ess. There are other issues as well, including my bondage fetish that she has also helped me to deal with better.
-Audrey

[Jenny Doolittle]

I have not been to at therapist however from reading the post it seems the key is finding one that actually knows their business. Personally. I will use the educated folks on this site as my therapy.



Thanks.

[KeriB]

Im in therapy now and actively exploring my TG-ness and whether transition might be in my future. I went with my therapist I've seen in the past for other issues - while she's not a TG-issues expert, I viewed this as a positive since I feel she can be more objective to my issues.. it has been a positive experience thus far, although I'm not any closer to an definitive answer.

[María José]

I have been in therapy because of my dressing. My therapist is female. She is not an expert in CDing, but was knowledgable about CDing and TG issues. As far as I know, she treats two more TG/CD friends, one of then transitioning.
The experience has been very positive. She has been supportive and helped me come to terms with CDing. She helped me when I decided to tell my wife. In the second or third session she told me: you need to tell your wife, don´t you? Yes, I said. I have never gone to therapy dressed, but she has seen me dressed in pictures.

[Vivian Best]

In my younger years I feel a therapist would have helped me come to terms and accept myself sooner that I did. At my stage in life I'm comfortable with who and what I am and I can see no benefit from the expense.