Wife Says no woman will ever accept my crossdressing

[Emily Anderson]

Michelle,

Sorry to hear about the pickle you're in. All I can suggest is to try to make sure you don't give in to excessive demands, because CD'ing is not a valid reason for divorce and you need to stand up for your rights.

As far as the future goes, rest assured there are women who are accepting, from the totally participative to the tolerant "OK, but I don't want to see it" type. I've had three girlfriends since I divorced seven years ago. I told all of them on the second or third date, and all three were accepting to various degrees. None of them wanted to stop dating after I told them of my CD'ing (they were all curious in fact).

I say this only to encourage you that there are women out there with an open view on the world, as you also can hear from the others on this forum.

[Beth-Lock]

Sorry you are going through a difficult time Michelle. Hope that things will work out as things go along.
The line that 'no one will put up with you like me, and now not even me' seems to be an old classic in relationship arguments, I would take it with a grain of salt, on logical principles. Of course it is not based on any hard and fast, facts.

[Deborah Jane]

I understand how you Michelle, i,m going through the same thing!!
Look on the bright side though [which i think you allready have]!!
From now on you can be yourself and dress and do as you please

Good luck and i hope it all works out for you

[TxKimberly]

I am SO sorry to hear of your divorce. Even though you sound OK with it, I just hate to hear of a marriage ending.
Lest it offer you any hope for the future, your wife is incorrect. There are quite a few women out there that can accept us. I have a few good friends that have been married 20, 30, and 40 years (as have I).
If my wife ever chucks me out, I'm thinking I might ask DemonicDaughter out for dinner. Nah, I'm too damn old for her.
Besides, she's prolly taken . .
Maybe Tamara? Nah, dang it - SHE'S taken too!
How about"missy Anne's GG" maybe? DOH! Nope, she's taken too!
Let's see, maybe . . . nah, she wouldn't have me either . . .

[AKAMichelle]

None eh? well aint she just wrong With all the GG's on this forum, I'd have to beg to differ at her statement Michelle. I won't say I'm sorry for your divorce, you seem to be quite content about it, if not looking forward to it all so you can finally be who you want to be. I'd like to know though, how come she gets 99% of everything? how does that work?

Sometimes you are so willing to get rid of an albatross that you will pay almost anything to do it. That's me.

Plus she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day. She told that I turned from God and everything else associated with it.

If crossdressing is a sin then all I can say is that it's one of many I will have to answer for one day.

[Danielle]

Sometimes we grow apart and not see it,I needed a woman to fully understand the entire lifestyle not just the clothes.Its more than that,its the emotional part about it and the accpetance,I get upset on how some women see it but to each its own hang in there girl.You are looking forward for your time so enjoy it when it comes

[AKAMichelle]

Maybe she thinks you are gay, dating other people, kinky or just embarrassing. If she is that shallow, you don't need her.

My wife is embarrassed because I don't dress a certain way when we go out (in male mode) . Nevermind crossdressed. She says that I will look like a guy dressed as a woman and she will have nothing to do with it. Her biggest comment is that she thinks I want to become a woman. Therefore, she says that she needs a man!

So she says that she accepts my crossdressing but never wants to see or be a part of it. Don't Ask - Don't Tell. Plus it's a sin.

[KarenCDFL]

I can really feel your pain.

My first marriage sort of lasted 5 years and even though I told her before we married, she did a complete 180 after we married.

My second marriage is great and my wife is more than accepting. And after 14 years we are still going strong.

One thing I do want to comment on is as I have read through some of the posts, the majority is pointing a negative finger at the soon to be ex-wife.

Just as we who are multi-gender have to accept ourselves, that does not mean that others have to. It would have been great if she could have but she is not wrong!!!!.

What is right and wrong for all of us is an internal thing and we can't ever force another to agree or disagree. I tried that with my first wife. Just does not work.

Michelle's wife is fully capable of making whatever decision is good for her and for her it is the right one. The fact that it is not good for Michelle is a completely different matter.

BTW, I did go through years of therapy to be able to understand this way of thinking. And I have no malice against my ex-wife. She did what she had to do as I did.

Michelle, I truly wish you the very best and the best for your ex as well.

[sissystephanie]

Your wife never met my wife!! She fully accepted my crossdressing and supported me all her life.

Did your wife know from the beginning of your marriage? If not, then you know why she is divorcing you! You deceived her for many years! Certainly not all women are as accepting as mine was, but if you start your married life off with deception it will come back to haunt you.

I am sorry about your divorce, and especially about the way you apparently are being stuck! But don't give up on the female species, there really are some very nice ones out there!!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, but man underneath!

[Kimberley]

Sounds like your (ex) wife is using the crossdressing to deflect any of her own responsibility for the marriage breakdown. Been there and I refused to accept that from mine. She changed her tune.

Secondly she is grossly out of touch stating that no woman will accept crossdressing. No woman she associates with or knows will accept it maybe but believe me there are pleny who will accept it. The field narrows when it is inside a relationship of course but your SO is totally out to lunch with that statement. Only shows her own reluctance to get educated; but then with the marriage over, why should she?

Best of Luck.

Kimberley

[AKAMichelle]

Thanks for all your words of encouragement.

I guess I need to clarify something. In exchange of 99% of what she wants, she leaves my copyrights and business alone. Fair trade in my book.

I was feeling pretty down and I just got a phone call which changed everything. It appears that money won't be much of an issue. I am about ready to sign next week a huge contract. Money issues which bothered me will be removed.

I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live.

[Rita Knight]

Sometimes you are so willing to get rid of an albatross that you will pay almost anything to do it. That's me.

Plus she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day. She told that I turned from God and everything else associated with it.

If crossdressing is a sin then all I can say is that it's one of many I will have to answer for one day.

If I am to be judged as sinful for being transgendered, I hope I am joined by all the parents who have disowned their children simply for being gay, lesbian or transgendered.

[bashful]

HI BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE KEEP IN THERE. THERE WILL BE A NICE GIRL OR WOMAN WHO WILL ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE. I LIKE YOU HAVE A SIMILIAR ISSUE BUT LIKE YOU MY MAN IS A MTF CD ONLY AND I HAVE ACCEPTED HIM FOR WHO AND WHAT HE IS BUT HE DOESN'T LET ME IN HIS WORLD I KNOW SOMETIMES HE NEEDS HIS SPACE TO DO HIS THING BUT HE ALWAYS LIKES TO BE LEFT ALONE HE SOMETIMES GETS UPSET FOR ANY REASON JUST TO BE LEFT ALONE IN THE ROOM BUT HE DOESN'T DO IT TO GET UPSET HE JUST DOES IT TO DRESS UP AN HOUR LATER HE JUST GETS OUT OF THE ROOM LIKE IF NOTHING HAPPENED AND THAT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL BAD I HAVE TOLD HIM I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM OUT THATS WHY I'M WITH HIM BECOUSE I LOVE HIM BUT HE JUST SOMETIMES DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU BECOUSE SHE DIDN'T JUST UNDERSTAND YOU AND ME BECOUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE A PART OF HIM I GUESS WE JUST DON'T ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE WISH AND DESIRE FOR RIGHT BEST WISHES FTM BASHFUL69. HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR FIRST NIGHT OUT

[Sophia KT]

Hiya,

You sound much more happy than the last time you posted, if you don't mind me saying so [and if my memory serves me right].

Glad to see that.

It hardly seems worth answering her assertion.

[Melanie R]

I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live. [/QUOTE]

You need to celebrate the end of your dreadful marriage and the beginning of a new life. Come join us on one of our upcoming crossdressing cruises where you can be enfemme among many supportive and accepting women who love being with a crossdresser. Several of these women are conservative, Southern Baptist who do not think being gender gifted is a sin.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Donna Michelle]

she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day.

My sister-in-law said that to me. God made gay people and crossdressers. We did NOT choose to be this way. We cannot change this. I tried to quit and deny my true self and I was unhappy. We are God's children and God wants us to be happy and healthy.

The Bible also tells people not to lie, cheat, steal, get tattoos, be prostitutes, remarry a spouse after divorcing him or her and other things people do. We are all sinners. Jesus died for our sins. Heaven would be a lonely place otherwise.

Sorry to those who are not Christians. Not a preacher, but when someone uses religion to express their own personal prejudice, only religion can counter the argument.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"

[Pamela Julie]

Here's to your future Michelle! May you find that supportive, compassionate woman we all wish we had, and some of us do have. Where is the divorce reception party being held? Are you listed at VS?

Pamela

[becca sage]

sorry and big hugs!!! im lucky, my girl even gave my female side a name, becca, or rebbacca if she is mad at me heheheh, im lucky to have such and understanding girl, big hugs and youll find someone who does apreciate you for who you are inside as well as outside.

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks for all your words of encouragement.
I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live.

Don't let your divorce get u down! It took me 2 years after me divorce to really start living again. Of course, MY divorce took 8 years!

On the other hand, don't jump into a relationship with the first girl that'll have u. She may, or may NOT, be the rite one. Find out who u r, what u want out of life, THEN find someone compatible with that!

[GlitteryBat]

Some of us very accepting GGs are freaks of nature. But I always thought of it more like "an endearing quality".

Hehe I have to agree with you on that

I am sorry about your divorce, but you know what, sometimes things happen for a reason, maybe you will be happier without her and find someone a GG that understands and supports you.
Best of luck hun!

[RobertaFermina]

The woman lives in a much smaller world then I can bear to accept. I do believe she is sincerely troubled by crossdressing, however she isn't getting any help from her faith or what it thinks Jesus was all about.

Oversimplifying, and emptying compassion from the word of "God" is Blasphemy, isn't it?

I am sad to see that you are capitulating financially in your divorce. In a marriage of considerable length, a stay at home wife deserves alimony. All of the money and none of the bills seems unfair. How about all the money left after the bills are paid ? or maybe a little less.

I don't know the details, obviously, but I hate the sound of capitulation...it is like giving in to the shaming. I'd rather stand up and risk being shamed by a judge or jury than carry the double shame of not standing up for myself. In a case where I might reasonably be shamed, I did this. I did not prevail entirely, but I came away with more power and all of my dignity intact....that is, bearing no resentments against myself.

Hope your path yields the same benefits for you!

Roberta

[carhill2mn]

Our divorce decree was signed earlier this month. Although my ex-wife did not use the same words as your wife, she said much the same thing. At this time, I know that I will be very cautious about getting into a new relationship. I hope things work out OK for you.

[Kelsy]

[SIZE="3"]I have been through what you are experiencing and it is no picnic but I will tell you that you're wife is wrong. There are many ggs that accept CDers and it is a expression of unconditional love. I remarried and have a wonderful wife, there are no secrets between us and she loves me for who I am. Fact is we have a lot of fun with our girl stuff. There is hope and you're future can be bright

Kelsy [/SIZE]

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]Many women are accepting of their mate's crossdressing. Mine is accepting and it took some time, too. She says that it part of me. She thinks i'm weird anyway, a fact that I readily admit . My son accepts my dressing too and his GF doesn't seem to mind.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[sterling12]

So your wife reads the minds of, and speaks for all other women in The World. Simply amazin'! I'm sure your logical mind can read that kind of thing as pure B.S.

I can tell by your responses that your smart enough to know how vindictive and hurtful some people can be when a relationship comes to an end. Lick your wounds, do your grieving, and move on! Sometimes these cruel words can wreck your self-esteem for years, don't let it happen.

Do the proper thing for your kids, and the most important part is to remain a father, no matter what kinds of bogus roadblocks are put in your way. It has nothing to do with The Kids! Pay a fair child support every month, and keep your canceled checks! Always a good idea to keep some proof, sometimes it helps years later. If you have to pay alimony, be fair but try and limit the duration to a period of time that gets her retrained and employable. Those are your obligations, but don't spend the rest of your days in guilt. The past is the past, and you can't change anything that happened in The Past.

Oh, I forgot here is the good part. Unless you do something stupid and jump right back into another relationship, you can now explore whom you really are. Being single gives you a great opportunity to figure out your place on The TG Spectrum. Congratulations, I'll just bet that you will love the trip!

Peace and Love, Joanie