Wife Says no woman will ever accept my crossdressing

[AKAMichelle]

This statement along with the additional comment that the only ones that will accept my crossdressing will be some freak of nature.

Needless to say, my wife and I are getting a divorce after almost 25 years. I recently explained everything about my crossdressing to her and our marriage went in the sh..er very rapidly after that. She claims that she is very accepting. She doesn't mind if I wear panties, but that's it. If I wear something else, then it is destroying our marriage. Anything I do without her permission is destroying our marriage. I might have been more understanding of these comments, but the marriage has been over for a long time.

Cause of Death = We grew in separate directions.

The hardest part is that we have being splitting on good terms and trying to stay friends until tonight. Tonight she just laid into me with both barrels. I gladly accepted full responsibility for our marriage collapse. It's wasn't enough. Now all I can do is count the days until she moves out. She gets 99% of everything. I get the bills and I have to pay alimony and child support. Even with the steep price of the divorce, it seems cheap to me. Soon I won't have to listen to her.

Several months from now I will be divorced. I have never gone out fully dressed before. I think the day she moves out I will celebrate by having a makeover and going out for the evening.

Now in the next few weeks I hope to be able to decide what to wear. So many choices to make.

[DanaR]

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Hopefully things will get better.

[Mollyanne]

Hi, It saddens me to hear about your upcoming divorce but the bright side will be not having to listen to "its all your fault", "is there something wrong with you", "are you a freak" etc etc.
I wish you well and pls remember that you can find friends here.


Mollyanne

[RikkiOfLA]

Dear Mollyanne,

Please accept my consolations as well.

Of course I can't say for sure if any woman will ever accept your crossdressing. But I can share with you that there are several accepting wives and girlfriends on this board, and I am married to a very accepting woman, and before her death, was married to another one. So it looks like the odds of acceptance are much better than your wife thinks.

I think your future will be much brighter than your present!

Blessings,
Rikki

[Di]

So sorry you are going through this. You said..... the marriage has been over for a long time..... so things can only get better.... it is just getting through the next few monthsHang in there

[deja true]

Michelle, dear one, we both know your wife is wrong, so don't let her arrogant, self-centered opinion be the final word for you.

If you really want a relationship with an understanding woman, you'll eventually find one.

If not, then living alone but free of such a controlling, selfish individual still seems a better option to me. If, as you say, your marriage was over long before you even introduced Michelle into the picture, then it's obvious it was for reasons other than dressing.

It doesn't sound like your beating yourself up, but still, try not to when the 'fit' really starts hitting the 'shan'.

We're with you in spirit, hun. That's gotta count for something.

good luck, Michelle, let us know...

deja

["Mary"]

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Virtual hugs.

[Rita Knight]

Hi Michelle,
Sorry to hear about your divorce. Please take this advice from a divorced gurl. Generally, both parties mess up a marriage. If she does not even think that, well.....
Have you ever been to Tri-Ess? Chances are you won't meet a future mate there but there are plenty of wives who accept CDing by their husbands there. I think your wife's statement is propaganda on her part. I know you can find one, but it may take a lot of looking.
Some things about me. I did not dress while I was married. I have never ever regretted getting divorced. I have given up on ever finding a female companion.
Things should get better. I do not miss at all the constant arguing and the back aches caused by stress.
I hope you find better things through this trying time.

[gagirl1]

i am so sorry to hear that things did not work out. i do not know you, but hearing such things breaks my heart. you mentioned alimony and child support. i know i don't have to tell you how important your children are to you, but right now, and for a long time to come, your kids are what matters. **** the money, **** dressing, **** luxuries. your kids matter most. it's hard, they won't understand, but be strong, and come to us when you need support. you will get through this.

[Nikki A.]

Life sometimes doesn't seem fair. Right now just take of yourself and your kids, thats what life is all about. If things don't get bitter it may mean there is still something there and a separation may be what you both need to see that you're both not so bad.

[Tamara Croft]

None eh? well aint she just wrong With all the GG's on this forum, I'd have to beg to differ at her statement Michelle. I won't say I'm sorry for your divorce, you seem to be quite content about it, if not looking forward to it all so you can finally be who you want to be. I'd like to know though, how come she gets 99% of everything? how does that work?

[laceyjessica]

can we both be married to the same woman. Sorry to hear about the divorce, my wife is the same exact way she will let me wear panties and thats it. if she ever forund my gowns wigs heels and countless other things that would be the end of me

[Daintre]

I am sorry to hear of the pending divorce Michelle, going through a divorce can be a messy hurtful event. I wish you well, but I do feel you deserve a better distribution of assets though.

[Debutante]

My first wife tolerated my cding... I was still struggling and coming to terms with it. But we divorced over other reasons.
My current (2nd) wife is acccepting and encouraging of me to explore it deeply. Of course, she is a therapist and very spiritual... this is an exceptional relationship.
Yes -- there are women out there who WILL support your CDing..

[harmony]

i wonder how many couples live side by side hating each others guts not beeing able to make decisions!when you feel your time together is over its good to move on.may be cding was a good trigger?
we grow more strongly than ever as individuals and to spend a lifetime on the same path with another is getting very rare.the biggest mistake is not to move on!
when i did it is was incredibly liberating!

[DemonicDaughter]

Some of us very accepting GGs are freaks of nature. But I always thought of it more like "an endearing quality".

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Michelle

I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but your wife's statement is a generalization, and like most it's wrong. I'm a post-op and still happily married, in fact we're happier than ever. That's not to say it's easy to find someone, but finding a life partner is never easy anyway.

Karen Starlene

[Emily Ann Brown]

WRONG WRONG WRONG !!!!

I have found one, and have 2 standing in line hoping the first one changes her mind. Just go slow sis....first, let the one who wants out get legally clear.


Emily Ann

[Krystal Lee]

Michelle,

I am sorry to hear that things have not gone well for you.

Your outlook will help carry you through and let it be known that your soon to be "ex" is wrong.

DemonicDaughter is correct and those with "endearing qualitys" are out there.

When you need a boost come back to the forum, a number of fine understanding people are here for you.

Hugs Krystal.

[Tomara]

Hi Michelle , I am sorry that you have to go threw the pain of divorce, but from what you wrote you will be much happier when you are finished with that part of your life . Try to stay positive,you have a great support group here and many friends to help you threw it all Tomara

[Vivian Best]

Hi Michelle,
I'm taking a slightly different direction in response to your situation. I'm going to congratulate you on your coming new life! I wish you the best in what ever direction your life takes you. Most of all thought, I hope you can maintain a relationship with your children. Don't let that be taken away from you.

[debbeelee1]

Good luck to you Michelle. There are women out there who support and encourage CDing, my SO is one of them. If you look hard enough and are honest enough you'll find one too!

[Cayce]

Hi Michelle.

Sounds like you'll make it through the actual divorce pretty well, but as some others have said, just make sure the kids are the top priority. Nothing's more important than that.

There certainly are women out there who are accepting and are supportive - I'm married to one of them. Don't ever lose hope and stay true to yourself.

-Cayce

[Donna Michelle]

I am not sure I believe your wife wants to leave you, because she doesn't like the clothes you choose to wear. It doesn't really make sense to me. How can you leave someone after so many years of marriage unless you grew apart? Is it the crossdressing itself or what other secrets, lies or activities went with it?

Maybe she thinks you are gay, dating other people, kinky or just embarrassing. If she is that shallow, you don't need her. My late wife Julie knew about my crossdressing and went places with me. I wasn't doing things WITHOUT her. We had fun. My current wife shops with me, too.

Unlike Julie, I kept my dressing a secret from her until we were married and had a son. After 5 years of marriage, I told her, but I just wore her underwear under my man clothes. I recently came out and she bought me LOTS of clothes, jewelry, shoes and things. She had crossdresser friends before she learned about me, so she talked to them for support.

She never thought I was gay, but she would get upset if I said I wanted to transition. I love my wife, so I will keep my man part for her. She has been very supportive, but I can't blame her for being upset or disappointed. Whenever I mention changing into a woman, she asks me how I would feel if she suddenly told me she wanted to be a man. I am NOT attracted to men, so I get her point. Still, she feels like she shares a room with a big sister and only dates the man she remembers. She wants more time with the man. We are trying to work that out.

You may consider counseling if you think that your wife still loves you and you love her. Or maybe you will enjoy the freedom to dress as you wish and find someone who loves you as you are. My friend Debbi still keeps her secret from her wife. My wife wonders why Debbi's wife doesn't know about the purchases, where "she" goes, the phone calls and so on. Actually, my wife thinks Debbi's wife knows, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She just goes drinking with HER friends and they are both independent. Of course, both of them were married and divorced, so maybe they like things that way.

I hope you both can find a solution that is best for both of you. Best wishes!

[JoAnnDallas]

Sorry to hear your and your wife are devoicing, but you did say it was not totally because of your CDing.
Yes there are women that will accept a CDer. My wife has decided to accept that I am a CDer and is OK with me getting dressed and going out dressed.