Has all CDer's had a same sex experience

[Raquel June]

I am a hetrosexual. Very much in love with my wife. And lately on this forum I have noticed alot of the members are talking about having relationships with men and women. So it made me wonder how many CDer's have done this and is this a reason for some who CD to help them identify their sexual idenity...

Actions speak a lot louder than words.

First you have to realize that most CDs I've met have been in clubs that have drag shows which would mark them as gay bars in most people's book, so I'm not saying my experience applies to everyone.

But anyway, most CDs I've met have found time to mention that they were actually totally hetero guys (odd how many volunteer that info, seeing as I've never found myself asking).

And yet, these same CDs have also almost always made some kind of sexual advance towards me by the end of the evening, whether it's grabbing at me or trying to kiss me or just suggesting that they'd like me to do ... uhh ... something to them, or them do something to me.

I've often found myself leaving tables with CDs and hanging out with drag queens (ones who are 100% up front about being totally gay) just because they have better manners. I've witnessed astoundingly inappropriate (not to mention gay) bahavior from CDs who claim to be totally hetero.

Personally, I really don't care what people think of my sexual orientation. I'm attracted to girls, but I guess I've found myself attracted to a guy now and then. Hey, if he's doing a good job of looking like a hot girl, I'd feel pretty homophobic if I wasn't attracted to him. So I guess to be honest I'd call myself bi. But that's not something I let get too far very often. I've made out a little with a few CDs and queens, and I'm not a big fan of stubble, even if it's hidden under thick foundation.

But at the same time, I do like guys hitting on me when I'm en femme. I've never been hit on by a guy that I didn't think I could pretty much flatten if he got too persistant, so it's never been that uncomfortable

[Ilovemyself]

Yes I have had a MMF experience with my wife and she initiated it. it was very important to her that I embrace my fem side and she is on board 100%!!!

[TGMarla]

I have not had a same-sex encounter, nor will I.

[deja true]

"...Even though so many here try to sweep it under the rug, gay and bi crossdressers do exist."

And it's generally thought that the percentages within the CD community are about the same as in the general population.

Some may get an impression that 'non-normal' behaviour is higher among CDs, but that may be because it's common to see 'girls' flirting among themselves or with guys. But that doesn't mean that many go any further.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

[KatrinaAshley]

You can say I'm curious, but overall I have little attraction to either sex no matter which side of my personality is in control. Is there such a category for that?

[Jacqui]

Here's one I bet not many can say! I've only been to bed with one woman in my life - my wife of 20 years. I have no interest in men.

Kim, I'm one of the "not many." Don't take this as one-upgirlship, but I got you by 5 years!
It's nice to know, though, that I'm not the only one.

Men in fantasy, maybe, but definately would consider myself lesbianical; men in reality, nope!

[KateSpade83]

No men here, but I'd do role reversal with a woman. And then sometimes when I see a hot guy, I say to myself, - if I were a woman I tear him up! So it's only fantasy for me.

[battybattybats]

The most recent statistic I heard was that at least 30% of the Australian male population has had at least one consensual same-sex encounter!

Almost 1/3rd!

So are CD's more or less likely? I don't know. However because many fear the public perception of crossdressing as a gay thing a lot are very adamant about only liking girls.

Are many Bi and in denial? Quite possibly. But lets be compassionate about that. Plenty of people have trouble admitting that they are bi or gay just as many are closeted about being crossdressers. To themselves as well as to others.

Unless there is something about crossdressers that makes them less likely to be attracted to men than the rest of the population then we should expect at least 30% have had a same sex experience.

[Patty]

Nope

[jasmine57]

I'm Bisexual and proud of it. But my CDing has nothing to do with it. When I dress it's always alone. Not that I wouldn't enjoy the company of others, it's just that I haven't worked up the courage yet.

[Suzy Harrison]

Here's one I bet not many can say! I've only been to bed with one woman in my life - my wife of 20 years.

You're right there Kim, I haven't even met your wife, ...let alone.........er.........I'll go back into my corner now

[deja true]

You can say I'm curious, but overall I have little attraction to either sex no matter which side of my personality is in control. Is there such a category for that?

If you're into categories, it sounds like asexuality. About 1-2% of males are reckoned to be asexual, but little research has been done on this subject. It doesn't seem to fit in anywhere in the common peception of gender being a binary concept. Go figure!

There are a few others here who are asexual as well.

You're not alone here. Nobody is dear one...

This is a good subject for a new thread, hon. Wanna post it?

deja

[O2B Barbara]

Have no desire to be with a man. The thought of my wife always wins the lust contest with no competition!

[victoriamwilliams1]

Nope, I did meet an admirer and he was all hands for the five minutes we met. He kissed me and I was grossed out and it took months t lose that image.

[danielle_from_cal]

[SIZE=3]Okay, I will confess that I have been with a man. However, it is not part of my life now (or for the past 15 years or so). I enjoyed it at the time but, unless some fantasy man came along (and I don't even know what I mean by that), I will stay with my wife. She's too good to let go for anything.[/SIZE]

[TxKimberly]

You're right there Kim, I haven't even met your wife, ...let alone.........er.........I'll go back into my corner now

ROFL - You know, I was read my post while looking at other responses and thought struck me that some wiseguy would probably take that ball and run with it. And what do ya know, it just HAD to be you Suzy!

[docrobbysherry]

I used to think I was. Until someone asked this question:

What if u met a CD that was so feminine, so sexy, so desirable, and she looked like the girl of your dreams? Would u just blow her off, or maybe just fool around a little?

How would all of you "hetero" folks answer that one? Huh?

( My answer was, "Fool around"). Am I still hetero? Not sure now, how about u?

[LilSissyStevie]

When I was younger I was convinced that I must be gay since had some strange sexual proclivities and was a sometimes crossdresser. I just felt no attraction for men. My life probably would have been easier had I been gay but I learned to attract the right kind of woman.

[kimmy p]

Even the thought of kissing a guy...Yuck! For those who are wired that way, I don't care, not my business. But for me, yuck.

[kimmy p]

Here's one I bet not many can say! I've only been to bed with one woman in my life - my wife of 20 years. I have no interest in men.

Maybe not many, but I qualify! My wife of almost 16 years (Next month) and I are each others one and only experience. Hell, we could be terrible at it and never know it but it's steel good.

[marny]

This is a good start in your research. You will find some bi wherever you go, but I think among the cd community most are not.

[CharleneT]

Hmmm... interesting to see what folks have had to say.

I've watched this ball get batted around in the "swingers" world and the results are about the same, with a twist... There, 98% of men state they are strait as an arrow, and 95% of the women say they are bisexual (well, often they say bicurious). In my experience, the number of bisexual folks in that group mirrors the rest of the society pretty well. About 20% of either men or women.

Now the GG's there often have sex with each other, but it also turns out to be much more entertainment for the men - not a real attraction. It is funny, with the swingers, the men are often pretty fearful of bimales, but will only have sex with another couple if the women are bi ?? I've never quite figured that one out. Often people fear being associated with alternate sexualities.

My bet: in about 15 years or so, maybe 20, the population will be much more tolerant of alternative sexualities and those that claim to be bisexual will likely be pretty common... what's the magic "real" percentage ? I wish I knew !


Charlene
p.s. just for the record, most "swingers" think CD/TG/TS etc are crazies.

[Raquel June]

So are CD's more or less likely? I don't know. However because many fear the public perception of crossdressing as a gay thing a lot are very adamant about only liking girls.

Are many Bi and in denial? Quite possibly. But lets be compassionate about that.

I totally agree with you. I like girls, but I could care less if someone thinks I'm totally gay. And I go through some really asexual phases. Maybe I'm straight, maybe I'm bi, maybe I'm an aspiring monk...

I just don't have much of an "ooh that's gross" feeling about anything. Well, God (and my therapist) knows I've had some encounters that bothered me, but I'm OK. I guess what I'm saying is, when it comes to sex, I'm never thinking, "I don't like that because it's gay." But I very often think I don't like something because it just doesn't turn me on. Sometimes for weeks I wonder if anything can turn me on. Sometimes I think just being desired by someone is better than the actual sex.

I do tend to emotionally put masculine or feminine twists on things. The few times I've been with a girl en femme, the way the evening progresses I usually end up being pretty aggressive, so the sex to me feels like I'm being very masculine. But then when I'm in regular guy mode, with some girls I'd say even 50% of the time I'm being very passive, lying on my back with my eyes rolled back in my head. So in a way I feel kinda gay when I'm just a regular guy being ravished by a woman, but I feel really manly and hetero when I'm dolled up and getting lipstick all over a girl.

I think I'm rambling and making no sense ... lol.

I think I know what a lot of CDs who are so adamant about being hetero are feeling, though... It's the whole, "I really don't think guys are attractive, but I want to be a pretty girl so much!" It's more trying to convince yourself that your feelings make sense when they really don't seem to on the surface.

[crusadergirl]

Just women for me either way i dress it don't change what i like.

[Delila]

I have had relationships with men and women. While the [U]idea[U] of having sex with a man while dressed is appealing it was not all that the fantasy lead me to believe. I would say that many not all cders have these urges i expect that at least some of them that follow through end up regretting it. I do not feel that being with a man helped me identify as a woman but that is just my experience.