CD or not CD? its a fine line

[becky t]

Hi all,

Going to start this thread with 'I AM WHO I AM', read on then you will understand,

I have tried for many years to come to terms with who i am, i have researched, dicussed and studied long and hard to find this out, my conclusion is that i am a crossdresser (and i like it)

My SO is approving of my behaviour and sometimes helps out with clothing, make-up tips etc.

Now to the bit i dont get...she approves which is good however she says i,m not a crossdresser but just an ordinary (define ordinary someone please) guy who likes to wear womens clothing time to time, took me a long time to come out and then be told i,m not dont anyone get me wrong, i'm very happy with any definition of who i am but it does bring about a good question... at what point is someone a crossdresser???

example 1, me

example 2, a guy plays the part of the dame every year at the local panto, he dresses in what is expected of a dame, he only plays this part throughout the festive season maybe 3 times a year only...

if he enjoys wearing the clothes is he CD?

example 3, a guy works in a very cold garage, he's a mechanic, to keep himself warm he wears pantyhose under his overalls,...so.. if he wears them purely to keep warm hes not cd? (ask his workmates!!), if however he enjoys wearing them is he cd?, if he is excited about wearing them is he cd? or is this just a fetish on underwear??

any thoughts??, any idea of when its crossdressing and when its not?

back to the start of this thread....I AM WHO I AM

ps, could have been worse..could have said to the SO i was a transvestite
confused? i am

[Kate Simmons]

Er, no. I'm not confused but it seems a lot of folks are. It depends a lot on your perspective I guess. I've come to the point where I can be myself no matter how I dress. I can have just as much fun as Rich as I can as Sal and I don't need to be en femme to do it. So, call me whatever you want when I'm dressed, I know who I am with or without the glitter. The difference is when I do it, it's a totally conscious choice and I do not feel compelled in any way and it is mostly for fun for me.

[Mean Green Irene]

Definitions are always open to interpretation.

In my dictionary a crossdresser is a CD when he/she enjoys wearing the clothing of the other sex -- and does it reqularly. A why is not included in my definition.


"I am what I am and that's all I am" Popeye

[Deborah Jane]

Definitions are always open to interpretation.

In my dictionary a crossdresser is a CD when he/she enjoys wearing the clothing of the other sex -- and does it reqularly. A why is not included in my definition.


"I am what I am and that's all I am" Popeye

By that definition i,m definitly a crossdresser then. I,m happy with that!!

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]I am a crossdresser and very happy about it.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[Mary Morgan]

Seems simple enough. To cross dress is to cross gender lines and dress in the clothing of that other gender. Problem is, there are probably more than two genders or variations on gender. So how does one know when they have crossed the line? Seems to me that if clothing is the only criteria, most people on this planet are crossdressers. Suddenly, it is feeling crowded here. As for me, crossdressing symbolizes my need/desire to appear as a woman.

[charllote34]

Think there is far too much of a hang up about putting ourselves in catergories and finding labels to attach to us . Just rejoice you have a fantastic supportive SO and just be yourself not a label !

[Marla S]

In my dictionary a crossdresser is a CD when he/she enjoys wearing the clothing of the other sex -- and does it reqularly. A why is not included in my definition.

If you look for a definition, this is one of the better.

[Fiona K]

Argh! A lable thread!!!

These almost always always cause arguments. I self-identify as a Transvestite (or CD if you prefer) for the following reasons:
1. I enjoy wearing women's clothing and make-up in a vain attempt present a feminine persona
2. This persona is not different from when I'm in Male mode
3. I'm hetero though sexuality has little to do with being TV/ CD in my personal opinion
4. I dress several times a month and often meet with like minded souls beyond my home.

If any of the above seems familiar then I suggest that, perhaps, you may identify similarly.

HOWEVER, if this is threatening or scary to your SO then keep what ever description you prefer! She comes first.

[sterling12]

You are, what you define yourself to be. It's your perception and nobody else's. Not your wife, not your boss , not The World at large, just little old you!

There are many people who define themselves as Transgendered, who don't wear a stitch of female clothing. There are males who dress up for drag shows who will define themselves as gay, but never transgendered. I think it's one of the reasons why we so often struggle to put a defining label on our actions. The definitions are very fluid and sometimes nebulous.

And as we usually say, what is important is that you accept yourself! Whatever YOUR feelings are about "What you are," it will all go down so much better if you can find self-acceptance.

Your wife, doesn't want you to be TG, or CD, or God forbid TS. So, she refuses to acknowledge that you are anything but "a guy who dresses occasionally." Cool, that's probably her way of coping, the Shrinks call it Rationalization.

Just keep remembering, it's all up to you....but, you probably knew that already.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Deanna2]

I buy a certain style of clothing (femme style as it happens) and that clothing is mine. So the clothes I wear are mine and believe I am never cross when I am wearing them.

[Pamela Julie]

Just agree with your wife and live a happy life.

[docrobbysherry]

Just agree with your wife and live a happy life.

If your wife let's u dress, what difference does it make if she calls u a wheelbarrow?
"Call me anything, but late for dinner!"
Uh, I'm divorced, by the way.
RS

[Kieroney]

Bottom line, been doing this since I was 12, I am a cd, over the years and in 07 I have taken dressing for me to another level, no problem saying I am a CD.

[Joann0830]

It was something I wrote in a Psych class about me it has a great many points that we all know and I love being me a CDM
Cross Dressing Male here goes Hope you like it:

I always said it’s the fashion industry that sets the pace for us to accept it or not who is Masculine or feminine. A way to show you is this: back in colonial times Men wore white knee stockings , shoes with heels and buckles, silk like clothing and ruffled shirts and Hair in pony tails and powdered wigs and don’t forget the powder and makeup to define the face. Revolutionary times men again wore their hair long and tight legging pants and again the shoes and stockings and Please don’t forget the Masculine Pirates who wore Earrings in both ears OMG!!. In the 50s & 60s woman wore toredaor pants (The beginning of Pants, I believe) and their fathers white shirts with the sleeves rolled up and men wore shiney shark skin suits, Had long hair but greased it up and wore Spiedel Bracelets on one wrist and a watch on the other, 60s o’boy men wore there hair long, earrings and lets not forget the tight hiphugger pants along with the silk shirts and the leather coat with fur collars. Some men even had a fingernail painted some color and not so masculine eyeglass frames. Ourtime, the present Woman wear mens construction boots, boys jeans because they are better made, Boys or mens boxers rolled down, Pant suits and sometimes a tuxedo tapered for the woman (Imagine back in the early times, that was NOT accepted as you would have been labled) The point I am trying to make is we men and woman define what is accepted as Masculine and feminine its not really the clothing it’s the people wearing them and the people that share that. I remember my wife
When she was alive as she was accepting to who I was as I told her that I was like this since I was little 5 or 6 and she understood as she realized it made me a better dad and husband and even better at my job, because I was understanding towards my childrens needs and my wifes need and as far as my job I can say it helped me to not judge anyone but helped me to understand them better as I would want done for myself. After My wife passed in 2001 I am raising my youngest daughter by myself and at one point I sat her down and explained it to her as I did my wife and she said its okay Dad I can understand that its something inside you and we can talk about it and be able to do so. I asked her if she had any issues about dressing and she said to me it’s a costume whether it be a Santa Suit (which I did for her and her oldest sister) or a cape and mask for Halloween its under the costume I know that its really my dad. BTW she helps me pick out clothing so that I don’t look bad and she is on top of my hairstyle and makeup which I showed her (17 Years Old going on 25 if You know what I mean) I believe that the wife or S.O. of a Crossdresser should look at the overall picture we are not having an operation, we would not cheat as finding someone to Love and accept us is quite hard and finally we do understand a Womans point of view a lot better then the average male. I am sorry that this is long but in 59 years I have watched and listened to everyone even here on our site, as we just want to be accepted, Loved and we want to share what we know. A famous quote from a Wise Woman who was married for 50 years (My Mom).
“You have to become friends before You Become Lovers” I know I can say as most of the CDM here will say for those accepting wives and SOs, Thank You for being supportive, My Best Friend and Lover. Joann0830

[kim85]

Think there is far too much of a hang up about putting ourselves in catergories and finding labels to attach to us . Just rejoice you have a fantastic supportive SO and just be yourself not a label !

Try to define what been a women is ..... you cant there are so many different out there no two are alike the same can be said for TS/CD. No matter which way you spin it there will always be differences but isnt that what makes us interesting as humans anyway ....
Kim
xxx