Curiosity kills the cat

[Faith_G]

Kind of an etiquette question here:

I belong to a truck club that has several events over the course of the year where we get together at a truck pull or a dyno or just at somebody's house to wrench on our trucks. I think one of the guys I spend a lot of time with at these events (we have very similar trucks) might be F2M. I am totally cool with that and would not think of bringing it up with him because I imagine he gets a lot of satisfaction from being accepted as a guy among guys and I don't want to spoil it for him. Unfortunately, last night he seemed to be overcompensating (acting extra "macho") and I hate to see somebody look like a jackass. Anyone have any suggestions on how I could talk to him about it without screwing everything up? Or should I just let it pass and see how he's behaving at the next event?

[Cai]

I wouldn't say anything until you're sure. I mean, could you imagine his reaction if you were wrong?

If he continues to act like an ass, then tell him he's acting like an ass, but leave the FtM out of it (again, until you're sure).

[brylram]

I'd wait 'til the next event... sometimes people just have days where they act strange, and it might have been a one-time thing. If he does it again next time though, feel free to smack him upside the head and tell him not to be such a douche. lol

You could also approach him without asking if he's ftm too, and just talk to him like he's any other guy acting like a fool, cause no-one looks good when they act like that.

*note* it seems Cai and I posted at about the same time, and said similar things... so it must be sound advice.

[Victoria Anne]

I would advise you let it go , if he continues to act poorly then let him know but I would strongly suggest you leave the FTM out of it , think about it what if someone approached you with a similar situation and brought unwanted attention to you ?

[Faith_G]

I wouldn't say anything until you're sure. I mean, could you imagine his reaction if you were wrong?

If he continues to act like an ass, then tell him he's acting like an ass, but leave the FtM out of it (again, until you're sure).

I'd wait 'til the next event... sometimes people just have days where they act strange, and it might have been a one-time thing. If he does it again next time though, feel free to smack him upside the head and tell him not to be such a douche. lol

You could also approach him without asking if he's ftm too, and just talk to him like he's any other guy acting like a fool, cause no-one looks good when they act like that.

*note* it seems Cai and I posted at about the same time, and said similar things... so it must be sound advice.

Thanks guys. That is obviously good advice, I guess my whole suspicion about him being F2M blinded me to the obvious course of action. It's good to know that's how you guys would like to be treated - I really don't want to bring up the trans issue whether I'm wrong or right. If I'm wrong he will be really insulted, if I'm right I don't think he'd be happy that I figured it out.

I think what bothered me most about last night was that everything he didn't like was "gay." I've known him for several years and he hasn't acted this way before. I have a niece a couple years younger than him (he's just out of college) and I've noticed that recently everything she doesn't like is "gay" so maybe it's just reactionary anti-PC slang amongst the youth - and I am over-reacting. I feel like an old fogey at 35.

I guess I just figured he ought to know better.

[ZenFrost]

I think you should leave the FtM part out of it altogether.

I have some friends who say bad things are 'gay' and what I do is correct them every time, I think it's worked because they do it less now.

[Tristan]

Yeah ftm or not all us guys can be dumb sometimes and just correct him like you would any other dumb guy and leave the ftm out of it. Nothing good can come from bringing it into it.

[Taylor105]

Thanks guys. That is obviously good advice, I guess my whole suspicion about him being F2M blinded me to the obvious course of action. It's good to know that's how you guys would like to be treated - I really don't want to bring up the trans issue whether I'm wrong or right. If I'm wrong he will be really insulted, if I'm right I don't think he'd be happy that I figured it out.

I think what bothered me most about last night was that everything he didn't like was "gay." I've known him for several years and he hasn't acted this way before. I have a niece a couple years younger than him (he's just out of college) and I've noticed that recently everything she doesn't like is "gay" so maybe it's just reactionary anti-PC slang amongst the youth - and I am over-reacting. I feel like an old fogey at 35.

I guess I just figured he ought to know better.

I can't stand that kids are saying "that's so gay" when they are whining about something. When someone says that in front of me I make it a point to throw "That's so straight" into the conversation. lol