Originally Posted by
btmgrl6
I am not good with relationships,in fact I don't do em. A little backround.....
My real dad died when I was a baby. My mother re-married a man who was both physically,and sexually abusive towards me. My mom commited suicide when I was 13. After mom died I hit the streets and never looked back.
Ok... After years of seeing my shrink I am better now,survived the streets,heads in a much better place,comfortable as a girl..24/7,work,have friends,good job,home,etc. I date,go out in public,yada,yada,yada.
I have never had what one might call a SO. I just don't go there. I have a real problem with trusting men.. I don't.
About a year ago I met a guy through mutual friends. We began to do do stuff together.Movies,dinner,running,and just hanging out and having a good time. Always plutonic (he dates girls,and had never expressed any desire to be with a guy). I do feel totally comfortable around him,as far as being able to talk about anything or just be a total girly girl. I really like him as a friend.
Recently he was at my house,we hung out, swam and just relaxed by the pool. I noticed he was staring at me and I asked him what the deal was? He relied by saying that he thought that he was "falling for me" I just kind of laughed it off and told him that he'd had too much wine. He said no. He told me that he'd been feeling this way for a while,but didn't know how to approach me. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I kind of ended our day there..he left and I haven't spoken to him in about 2 weeks. he's called,but I haven't picked up. I do really like him,but had never given any thought about having a relationship. In my heart I think I could be with him,but in my head I
want to run away....far far away.
My shrink says "take a chance",my friends say "go for it"
I can't seem to pick up that phone! WTF?
Steph