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Thread: Can I Say Hello to You if I See You?

  1. #1
    That's right, I did it Sharon's Avatar
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    Can I Say Hello to You if I See You?

    There have been a few threads in the past where people have mentioned seeing a crossdresser in public and they didn't know whether to approach them or not. Usually, they opted to remain quiet, perhaps in fear of possibly outing themselves, or, maybe, not wanting to embarrass the person.

    If someone sees you out and about, how would you like to be approached, if at all? And if you don't, is it because you would be embarrassed or what?

    Personally, knowing full well that I don't pass as well as I wish I did, I wouldn't mind someone coming up to me and saying "hello." Who knows -- maybe it'll be the start of a friendship.
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Absolutely Sharon. No problem here. I always love meeting new friends. I figure if someone did ask me, they are interested and care somewhat anyway.

  3. #3
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    I would be delighted if someone said hello and wanted to talk to me! :-)

  4. #4
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    If someone sees you out and about, how would you like to be approached, if at all? And if you don't, is it because you would be embarrassed or what?
    Sure, as long as they are polite. Though context can be a bit of a factor: for example, I probably would not be thrilled to talk about crossdressing in the middle of a busy bus (but might not mind in a sparse bus.)

    However, if someone recognizes me in drab from having previously seen me crossdressed to some extent, then it becomes more difficult; in particular, if I'm not alone, then whomever I am with might not know and things could get awkward.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Lawren's Avatar
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    I wouldn't mind at all if someone greeted me. It would give me the chance to show them that I am just an Average Joe who happens to have an expanded wardrobe.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
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    well being the shy type that i am not .... a hello hi would work in a non stocking way would work.....

  7. #7
    T-something Marla S's Avatar
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    Theoretically a Hello would be nice.

    Practically I am a bit shy and usualy make myself an idiot in this kind of situations ... is that something desirable ?

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Brianna Lovely's Avatar
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    I think that I would welcome a friendly hello, even if you were in drab. It's my feeling, that the more open and honest I am with people, the less they'll see CDers as a threat.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Silver Member
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    Say "Hello", say "Nice day", say "What a pretty skirt", but don't say, "Oh, I noticed that you are a CDer, so am I".

    When I am out and about, just relate to me as you would anyone else. Be pleasant, and friendly. That's all. I don't bite, but I also don't want to be reminded of how well I don't pass.

    Lovies,
    Stephenie

  10. #10
    Luvin it Patty's Avatar
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    I would like to have a friendly Hi or Hello - would love to talk maybe make a new friend.

  11. #11
    Senior Member paulaN's Avatar
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    After my heart settled down we would probably get along great.
    keep on gurlin everyone. paula may

  12. #12
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    Can I Say Hello to You if I See You?
    You better! You all better say hi to me if you see me.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Yes.... If you see me say HI!!

    Karren
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  14. #14
    Unofficial CD Mom Holly's Avatar
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    As long as I am approached with courtesy and with respect, I'd love to say hi and have a talk. It's happened before and I think all parties walked away all the better for it... I know I did.
    Fulltime girl on the inside.
    Lipstick=confidence

    [SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]

  15. #15
    Heels Rock! SandyR's Avatar
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    If you see me, please say hi! Plus I could use some help picking out shoes......LOL


    Hugs.

    SandyR
    Real Men can Cook in Heels...

  16. #16
    Senior Member Jenna1561's Avatar
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    Again as many have said, as long as it's courteous and friendly - then absolutely!


    Jenna
    [SIZE="2"]There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand[/SIZE]
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  17. #17
    Junior Member Annette49's Avatar
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    About six months ago I was out and a transgendered woman who happened to be in drab asked me if I was TG. We had a long conversation and I was very happy she approached me.

    Annette

  18. #18
    Member SatinDoll00's Avatar
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    If I ever get the nerve...

    ...IF I ever get the nerve to go out.

    ...IF I ever lose 20lbs.

    ...IF I ever learn makeup well enough.

    IF, IF, IF

    Seriously...I would LOVE to meet anyone here.

    If you see me out, assuming I have gotten brave enough to post a face shot (hopefully coming soon) and you recognize me, then PLEASE come up to me and say hi. But call me ma'am

    Morgan

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Say "Hello", say "Nice day", say "What a pretty skirt", but don't say, "Oh, I noticed that you are a CDer, so am I".

    Lovies,
    Stephenie
    I think that would be the key. If I ever wandered out, I don't think I would like to be told by anyone, even another CD, that they knew I was a CD, "Good try!" or whatever. My first thought would be, "Oh sh*t! What gave it away?" and then hibernate for the next couple of decades.

    Last week, in a diner in NYC, I was having lunch with a male friend. A lone woman was then seated by the waitress at a table to my immediate right. As she slid in between the two tables, all I noticed was her long dress. Didn't think anything else and didn't look over to my right to check her out (wouldn't be polite and I'm already taken).
    Only when she ordered in a very low and fairly deep voice that I could not help but overhear, did I realize that she was probably a CD. It definately wasn't Suzanne Pleshette!
    I resisted urges to look over because I didn't want her to feel in the least that I made her.
    But I couldn't pass up the chance to go to the men's room so that I could get a sneak peak on the way back to the table.
    When I did, I still didn't want to make anything obvious. She looked and acted like a woman...but there was something I couldn't pin down, other than the voice, that led me to believe that she was CD or TG/TS. (Probably from spending too much time in this forum!)
    Perhaps, if I was alone, I might have tried to start a friendly conversation, and if it came out, then who knows? Maybe I would have also!

    Jacqui

  20. #20
    Blushing June '07 Bride Sheri 4242's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tess-leigh View Post
    Sure, as long as they are polite. Though context can be a bit of a factor: for example, I probably would not be thrilled to talk about crossdressing in the middle of a busy bus (but might not mind in a sparse bus.)

    However, if someone recognizes me in drab from having previously seen me crossdressed to some extent, then it becomes more difficult; in particular, if I'm not alone, then whomever I am with might not know and things could get awkward.
    Tess pretty much summed it up: it depends!!! It depends if we are in a meeting of peers, or alone on an elevator. Call it the "akwardness factor." If you see me and I'm alone, by all means say hello -- I'd love it. I look at it this way: if I saw you with a small group of people (and it was obvious you were part of the group), I probably wouldn't say a word . . . unless I saw an opportunity to speak to you alone. I wouldn't want to "out" a sister, and I would hope no sister would want to "out" me. So, if you run into me and a couple of friends at The Ted or at Yankee Stadium, wait until I go to the bathroom, then say hello out in the breezeway. I'd certainly do the same for you -- and with as much tact as possible. It would be great to meet many of you -- but a certain amount of sense and sensibility must go along with it!!!

  21. #21
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    If I was en femme and someone thought they recognized me and said "Hello, are you Rachel?" I'd think I was famous! It wouldn't surprise me if this happens to Karren Hutton all the time

    Seriously though, if someone did read me, and they were in drab, and they came up to me and wanted to talk about cding or tell me that they were a cder etc, like others have said, it might be ok if they weren't too obvious about it regarding others hearing our conversation in public. If they read me and just wanted to be friendly towards me like they would any other person then that would probabaly be fine too. I guess my point is, if they're friendly I'd be ok with it, but don't expect me to be very talkative as I tend to keep myself to myself ... especially around strangers.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Kierci's Avatar
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    Please do but do me a favor let me know you are a CD'r also otherwise I may misinterpret your motives, Otherwise say hi Please!!!!!
    High Heels, are there any other type of shoe?

  23. #23
    Trans Species Joy Carter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    There have been a few threads in the past where people have mentioned seeing a crossdresser in public and they didn't know whether to approach them or not. Usually, they opted to remain quiet, perhaps in fear of possibly outing themselves, or, maybe, not wanting to embarrass the person.

    If someone sees you out and about, how would you like to be approached, if at all? And if you don't, is it because you would be embarrassed or what?

    Personally, knowing full well that I don't pass as well as I wish I did, I wouldn't mind someone coming up to me and saying "hello." Who knows -- maybe it'll be the start of a friendship.
    Sure ! I want you to know that lunch is on you.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Barb Valentine's Avatar
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    If someone said Hi to me while I was dressed
    I think the first thing I'd say is
    What the hell are you doing in my closet !
    I just don't have fun -- I make the fun

    Life's too short........Enjoy every day

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member BarbaraTalbot's Avatar
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    Absolutely.

    In the (so far) unlikely event anyone saw me out and dressed, I'd love some moral support. If I was out and dressed I would have already planned to be somewhere that even if someone noticed an impromptu mini CD convention, it wouldn't be anyone I already knew, and my SO would likely be at my side or nearby. Kids over the age of 11 months home.

    If I was out in drab, I'd welcome a chance to talk to a CD with or without kids in tow. I would like to, in a sane way make them aware of the fact that some men do enjoy playing dress-up. Just not planning on telling them Daddy is one of them. Wouldn't be a bad idea to have a base of knowledge prepared if they start adding up 2+2 sets of sizes of heels around.
    Vincent Vega: Well, I confess that I wait to talk, but I am trying to learn to listen. (paraphrased)

    Barbara's Blog

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