Unlike most girls here, I am very happy in the closet!!! I have no real urge to go out in public. I spend most of my time in male mode and am happy with that too!!!!
Unlike most girls here, I am very happy in the closet!!! I have no real urge to go out in public. I spend most of my time in male mode and am happy with that too!!!!
I have said it many times before I am happy dressing at home and have no desire to go out dressed seems kinda pointless I dont want to live as a woman so why should I want to go out as a woman
Going through that myself. I've just got to be patient and wait for my wife to catch up with my wishes.
Let me say that MJ has the right idea...nothing to it, but do it !!!
Sure acceptance is important part of our life, but then isn't it for every one...
I know on my first outing I was let off at a small mall while my wife parked the car, I think in part to push me out of the nest...while I got a few stares, naturally so me being 6'6" tall, but I also noticed something else that strangely enough works in our favor...the ME syndrom...I found out quickly that even though I got some stares, the people in general was so worried about themselves, they had little or no time to worry about me, while I'm sure I was the topic of a conversation that evening or the next morning at work, why should I worry, after all the chances of ever seeing, much aless knowing them are slim and none...
At any rate I spent what seemed hours in front of the mall waiting on my wife, but in the short minutes I had by myself I found that with the ME attitude the general public now has...and...I can do this attitude I have every thing worked out fine...
Who ever said the closet is so small and the world so big obviously has been the same place I and lot other girls have been...The best thing about the whole situation is you couldn't pry our butts back in that closet with an army...
Life is entirely to short to allow simple-closed minded people to dictate how we are to live our lives...
I share the same feelings as every one else.Sometimes this closet feels like a prison.
Totally agree with this statement!!Originally Posted by Toyah
These feelings we feel when dressed or not, i mean femininity, the feelings and emotions that go along with it, ARE real, and men CAN feel them, are you all 100% certain that you are really a woman, or is it because your masculinity is low because you forgot just how good that can feel as well, and along comes these new feminine feelings and WOW I'm a woman!!!! There just new and very REAL. I know for me the more i dress up, the less the WOW factor, and is why the sexual thrill diminishes with time as well. Dont dress up at all for a month and them go for it, its WHOLLY WOW factor all over again!!! This alone tells me this is the true. It starts out with moms pantyhose, goes to, bigger items and more, to make up, learning to walk and talk like a woman, to i need to be seen as a woman now, I WANNA GO OUT!!!!
What comes after that? DEPRESSION ?? These feeling become so strong inside of myself as well, but there is reality starin me in the face too, I choose to not let it go so far, that i change who i am, just because these feelings can be felt by men as well, i think that is why a lot of us dont go out, or even have a want to, because we see it for what it is and not let it make us be something we are not, simply because we can feel it as well.
a few factors to take into account when leaving the house dressed
no 1 = Balls to EM!!
no 2 = we give ourselves far too much credit to think that everyone is gonna be interested in us t girls trannys whatever you want to call yourself.
no 3 = ppl are out there living thier own life and couldnt care less what others are doing
no 4 = if read and feeling anxious just hold your head up and smile girl, its hard not to smile back at a smiling face.
no 5 = enjoy it its what we are and what we do despite any label go for it ! forget about everyone for the day and enjoy it
and finally = a good bit of banter if anyone gives you any grief just laugh it off and turn it all into a big joke, ppl love honesty, dont take yourself too serious and it will be cool. works for me
I can honestly say it may be different for everyone but we will all have the same experiences in one form or other, just go with what you feel, I been out for just under a year now and it gets easier, going out no longer becomes an issue down the line and you do everyday things without thinking and if they are looking its usually because they are secretly thinking (hey I wish i had that was me")but its not its you so do it baby
hope this doesnt look lik i think i know it all, this is just from my experience xx thx for reading you beautiful ppl xxxxxx
Kate xx Home at last
"Used to be a sweet boy
Holding so tightly
To Daddy's hand
But that was all
In some distant land"
Morrisey
I really feel sorry for those that go through this emotional turmoil it just does not happen for me. I am happy to be Toyah whenever the mood takes me which is most nights when home. I had the opportunity to go to Sparkle this year, went last year don't want to go again. As for the passing thing well its rubbish it does not matter how good or bad you are you will be spotted and yep comments will be made behind your back or to your face. To be honest I think I do as well as anyone can looks wise, I am accepted and appreciated here and on Yahoo but know that the world at best does not give a damm or would be openly hostile sorry but that's not for me. As for shopping or restaurants or clubs, I buy all my own stuff no one cares what you buy in drab, eating en femme is a pain, hair lipstick and trying not to drop peas down your cleavage all conspire against you, as for clubs well past any desire for those now
Whether or not a CD wants to go out in public is a factor dependent on the individual needs of the CD. As we CD for different reasons, our emotional and attitudinal needs and feelings are also different. Some CDers feel the need and urge to go out in public while others do not.
A "Closeted" CD may be defined as a CDer who feels the yearning to go out, but FEAR and "Common sense" prevents him from doing so. But there are also PRIVATE CDers we differ from closet CDers in that there is no yearning, drive or urge to fo out. We consider CDing as one of the things we do in private such as Taking a bath, brushing our teeth or jerking off. We feel no need to "share" CDing with others any more than those other "private" activities. There is a big difference between being closeted and being private. A truly private CDer should not be pressured into going out dressed, as it does not involve the reasons that he is personally CDing for. A closeted type, however may benifit from it.
I was deeply closeted until 2005. That is when my CDing came back BIG TIME. I also got the urge to go out dressed. I was very afraid that I would be spotted but so I first looked for a CD group. I found the Dallas Tri-Ess Chapter. They were having a convention here last year and I signed up. In my case it made it easier to go out since I would be among others like myself. Once I saw that some people did notice but did not care, or did not take notice of me, I started to relax. I also found what others had said about shopping in drab and found that the SA's and clerks could care less who I was buying the items for. I have sense gone out solo and found that most people don't care as long as you are not trying to attact attention or act nervious.
After months of planning I left the closet a year ago supported by a group in Atlanta. Since then I've increasingly accepted myself and had just one unpleasant incident. I've now flown in Australia en femme and plan on doing so again soon. I do NOT pass but dress presentably and age appropriate.
My comments:
Do not feel it is wrong to stay in the closet for all sorts of reasons if that satisfies your needs.
If you want to venture out of the closet take the advice of those who have gone before you ... it can be scary and it will take you time to build up confidence. Progress at your own pace and enjoy.
Michelle (Oz)
To me i.m starting to feel as though Mindi and Him are different people. we are the same person working towards a greater goal.
now i am working on having the confidence to be able to express this to the people around me. nothing has frightened me, excited me, and well festered in my head this much. the feels are there, and i think that it is time soon, for me to express ourselves in the manner see fit. no not as Multiple personality disorder, or something else. but as the complete and whole yin yang.
thank you for this post. it was very enlightening to hear everyone else's thoughts.
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