First things first...I love to crossdress. So much that I had to reveal it to my wife rather than get caught someday. Thankfully she is very accepting and even buys me "girl" gifts (nice makeup set for Christmas).
I remember first starting when I was very young. I believe about 10 or so I started by sneaking my mother's "lee press on nails". Thankfully I had a younger sister who got blamed for all the missing items.
Things progressed normally through the cycle and I found myself mailordering high heels when I turned 18 and had my own credit card. It was all very erotic/sexually pleasing for me. I did not want to be a girl, I just enjoyed all the feminity.
I now am 33 and can "control" myself for the most part. But when I get the urge, watch out!! I have gone out late at night to the grocery store en femme. I have almost gone out clubbing with my wife...almost.
I feel that I have progressed into another phase of CD'ing. I am now a perfectionist. I have to master the makeup and the hair etc. It is almost a challenge and mission to look as close to female as possible. (Duh, everybody tries that) I feel like I look so good while I am dressed. SO good that I have dared out into the real world and put myself at risk of discovery. I take photos to remind me of how good I look. Unfortunately, when I go back and look at the photos I cannot believe I thought I looked good. It is almost embarrasing... How can a 6' tall 220 pound man doll himself up to look HOT!! Come on MAN!!
Don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed of what I do. I love it and it is still very pleasing to me. In fact, I just had a pretty intense foot surgery and will be "gimpy" for 8 weeks. The only thing I could think of is that I will not be able to wear my heels!!
Has anybody gone through this FANTASY "God I'm HOT" to the "What were you thinking ?" phase...
Just a long rant from a Princess trapped in a tower with her foot all bandaged up.