Point of passing

[Kate Simmons]

I've read quite a few posts in regard to the need to "pass" in public or whatever. There seems to be a great deal of urgency at times and some go to great lenghths to create cleavage and curves. For myself, it's no "big deal" and my passing is just a natural consequence of being in touch with my femme self. My question is this: "What is your point in wanting to "pass"? It it simply for self reinforcement or are you trying to attract attention to yourself for any number of reasons? I know my reasons for crossdressing, I was just curious as to what motivates others and why the desire to "pass" as a woman is so great for some. Ericka/Rich

[Karren H]

Well I just want to look pretty!!! And its also kind of a game for me!!

Its time to play - "Beat The Public".

Todays contestant is an oldish engineer from Pittsburgh PA... Who will try to dressup like a girl and make her way through the gauntlent (aka Mall)!! Without out slipping, tripping or talking. If successful she will take home a Victoria Secret gift basket..

Hehehe



Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I know what motivates you, Karr. I was trying to get the opinion of some of these more "bashful' gals who want to be 'femme fatales". Thanks for you input though, maybe it's worth a "brain storming" session, no? Ericka/Rich

[Karren H]

I know what motivates you, Karr. I was trying to get the opinion of some of these more "bashful' gals who want to be 'femme fatales". Thanks for you input though, maybe it's worth a "brain storming" session, no? Ericka/Rich

Ohhhhh!! I can do bashful........

Love Karre

[Mary L]

I don't know why I crossdress to begin with. I find it embarrassing that I do. But, like most, I can't seem to stop, nor do I even want to. That said, when I dress, I want to go out. For me, it would be even more embarrassing, to the point of being prohibitive, to be viewed as "a man in a dress." I simply can't do that. So, I try to pass and do so reasonably successfully as an upper fifties woman. No flash, unnecessary heels or extra skin. Just a somewhat taller than average, fully ignorable upper middle-aged woman with graying hair whose face is starting to wrinkle and who tends to be a bit dated in clothing because she likes to wear skirts, rather than pants.

Mary

[slamddoger]

why work on passing when you go out it is a lot safer blane in than to stake out

[Teresa Amina]

Passing/Blending out there holds the prospect of satisfying that deep, long suppressed desire to "Be". The Gender Fairy isn't coming with Pink Pills but I can work on my appearance and voice to get to the point of being simply accepted as that Inner Self.

[Stephenie S]

Well I for one do not want to "call attention" to myself. Just the oposite, I want to blend in.

I know that some of us want to draw attention; micro minis, fishnets, 5" heels, deep cleavage, but that's not the woman I am. My style is as subdued as I can make it. Just another girl, please.

As to why? It's just who I am. I want the world to see me for my true self.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[joanne_mi]

There's lots of reasons for wanting to pass. First and possibly foremost, if you're passing, there's little chance for ridicule, or possibly danger from the less enlightened types among us.

Also, if you feel that you were born the wrong gender, then managing to pass could be a bit of a pacifier to you (I would think that most M/F TS's think of themselves as women, not as TGs). With so many reasons not to transition for many (job, family responsibillities, and so on) Passing is the only oppurtunity for many to reflect the image that they were supposed to all along.

There's different reasons for wanting to pass, and all of them are right. For those who don't care one way or another, or enjoy the 'shock value' of not passing, that is right as well. It comes down to who you are personally.

PS: Leave it to me to confuse the hell out of a good topic with my 3rd lifetime post here.

[Jenna1561]

I agree with Joanne. I believe that I am more woman than man and passing or blending-in in the public eye satisfies a deep seeded need. I don't want attention, to the contrary, I want to be accepted as what I'm presenting, a woman, and not receive a second glance.

At this point in time it is my thought that I will never transition because of my family. Passing or Blending-in is as close as I'll get to being who I think I was meant to be.

Ericka, I hope this answers your question with regards to myself.


Jenna

[Nigella]

I dont want to or need to pass, I am comfortable in myself and dress as I please. I hold my head high and hide non of myself, from the male voice, to the male shape.

I believe it has everything to do with your own self confidence, having said that, I bet there are a lot of high flying executives who exude confidence but live in the CD closet.

Sometimes the desire to pass has everything to do with the individual and nothing to do with blending into society.

[michelle-h]

I dont really go out much, and when I have it has been to places where being a crossdresser is accepted. So I guess passing isn't really critical for me. I think my problem is that I am a bit of a perfectionist, so when I do dress, I want to look my very best, and as femme as possible. If I pass, great. If I don't, no biggie. I just want to be pretty.

Michelle-h

[Elly]

to put it simply if you pass you avoid the beatings and bashings you're likely to recieve from rednecks for being a guy in a dress, now if they can't tell you're a guy in a dress and actualy think you're a real girl then it's likely they will leave you alone and not assault you...
anyway since i was born the wrong sex i prefer to look at least closer to what i should have looked like had i been born correctly, unfortuantealy for me i too often look and sound like my mother but much much thinner (i have her figure from the late 70's) i love my mom but i don't wanna be just like her lol...

[Sky]

"What is your point in wanting to "pass"?

To feel good and to pick up better guys.

[Ranee Daze]

I try hard to pass..... because I can. The more successful I am the more of a turn-on (erotically and emotionally) it has become. Looking beatiful gives me a rush of energy, like a drug, and I am an addict. More and more however I am enjoying the reaction and downright interest and encouragement I get at the MAC and Body Shop, and my favourite dress stores like Melanie Lyne.
There are some ladies here who freely admit that their male body makes it difficult to really pass, and that is really to bad.
For me, I have soft features, good hair and I am not such a big man. I exercise skating and cycling, so there is no gut or butt to hide and mask.
For me, Ranee is this wonderful friend that I go shopping with every couplre of months. I am thrilled to know her.

[Scrunchie-Bunchie]

I have no intention of going out in public in a dress. I would love to be able to do the garden in a dress or to lounge around outside in a dress but I can't. I can't even wear one at home while we have workmen busily fixing the house.

[RedBaron]

I dont want to or need to pass, I am comfortable in myself and dress as I please. I hold my head high and hide non of myself, from the male voice, to the male shape.

I believe it has everything to do with your own self confidence, having said that, I bet there are a lot of high flying executives who exude confidence but live in the CD closet.

Sometimes the desire to pass has everything to do with the individual and nothing to do with blending into society.

Thanks Nigella for saying that, I completely agree. I too wear what I like for myself, not what others might like. I wear a beard, so I certainly don't try to pass. And it seems to work, people seem to accept it.

Be who you are and not what other people want you to be.

[MsJanessa]

I don't really care whether I pass or not---what I do care about is being the most attractive T-Girl that I can be.

[ReginaK]

I want to pass because it's pleasurable. There is nothing fun about looking in the mirror and seeing stubble through your makeup, badly done make-up, huge linebacker shoulders, and other ugliness.

[Bianca T-Girl]

I used to get a buzz from just dressing up indoors but then I wondered what it would feel like to go out for a walk dressed up but at night. I tried it and wanted to go out more. A guy took me out in his car to the busy high street one evening and we walk amongst the crowds. It felt fantastic. I got some looks from other guys and girls and as far as I was aware, they didn't notice I was a CD. So now the buzz comes from mixing and being seen but if I don't pass and people laugh or call out, that would spoil everything and would stop me from going out again. Having to stay in, for me, is like being confined to prison so that's why it's important that I'm passable.

Bianca.

[Ranee Daze]

Pulling off the illusion, rather than just satisfying a disphoric urge by dressing at home, is a real buzz. It is a challenge every time to look better and move and talk better. I repeat, because I can I go for it!