Wife Asked why I was wearing one of nightgowns

[ccrossd32]

My wife asked me last night why I was wearing one of nightgowns. I told her I liked the way it felt. It almost feels like her. Then she asks me If I was a crossdresser. I said I liked wearing panites because of the way they felt againt me, then she says I dont blame you I like the way the silk and satin painties felt too. Then she asks if I wore a bra. I said sometimes. Thats when she went quiet. I asked her what she thought about that, she replies with, "Thats disgusting you don't need to wear a bra". Thats were the conversation ended. Any thoughts on what she could have been thinking.

[Lisa Golightly]

You crossed the line from sensualist to crossdresser.... In my fictional thesis 'The thin bra line' I propsed the argument that it was the application brassiere mechanics to the equation of fuff divided by silk equals ooo ooooooooooh squared that most women found to be impossible to accept. My conclusions as published for a small sum of £125 indicated that women regarded this item as a sacred tribal totum.

[DAVIDA]

We don't "need" to wear panties either. Or do we?????????


Use forms and you can tote um too

[Lisa Golightly]

Use forms and you can tote um too

What are the chances of that happening

[Missy]

you can say
when I wear a bra it makes me feel like you are hunging me

Missy

[Marla S]

My wife asked me last night why I was wearing one of nightgowns. I told her I liked the way it felt. It almost feels like her. Then she asks me If I was a crossdresser. I said I liked wearing panites because of the way they felt againt me, then she says I dont blame you I like the way the silk and satin painties felt too. Then she asks if I wore a bra. I said sometimes. Thats when she went quiet. I asked her what she thought about that, she replies with, "Thats disgusting you don't need to wear a bra". Thats were the conversation ended. Any thoughts on what she could have been thinking.

Well.
First mistake:

It almost feels like her.

Sounds weird, is weird (I admit, I used that excuse too in the past). You should feel like you or comfortable.

Second mistake:
Wearing bra for no "obvious" reason is weird too (at least from her perspective). You crossed the line to a "sick" sexuality or sexism there, respectively.
Or in other words: You turned the switch from "that is cute, how sensitive !" to "my hubby is a pervert or a sexist!".

Women wear bras because they need to, due to anatomical reasons in the first instance.
That they enjoy nice bras is the compensation for the exigence.
Therefor, there is no real justification for a GM to wear bras, if he doesn't try to justify this by saying "I want to be a woman", which doesn't make things better if you are not a TS, which would cause other problems with your SO.

[Scrunchie-Bunchie]

Women wear bras because they need to, due to anatomical reasons in the first instance.
That they enjoy nice bras is the compensation for the exigence.
Therefor, there is no real justification for a GM to wear bras, if he doesn't try to justify this by saying "I want to be a woman", which doesn't make things better if you are not a TS, which would cause other problems with your SO.

Most women hate bras. They call them "male torture devices". My wife complains bitterly about how the underwires get uncomfortable after a few hours.

[krisybryant]

This strikes at the very heart of what it is to be a crossdresser. I think so many times we fail to make the connection between what we're feeling inside (like wanting to feel feminine for example) and how to present that to others to get feedback and/or support. It's like we have this feeling inside, but we don't know how to ask questions or even what questions to ask.

I agree with the other ladies on here, you crossed that magic line when you admited you like bras. There is not practical reason for men to wear them. Now the question is 'what is she thinking'. And I bet you are worried she sees you as different now. To you it's a logical progression panties, night gowns, bras, etc... everything you associate with being a women is normal (or at least natural) for you to wear. What's the big deal, right. To her, you are probably a little weird.

Advice: give it a day to sink in. Don't hide your feelings, but try to be understanding when you answer her questions; there'll be many of them.

[Lisa Golightly]

Women wear bras because they need to, due to anatomical reasons in the first instance... Therefor, there is no real justification for a GM to wear bras...

Well... Sometimes old father nature is a bit of a trickster... take lil' ol' me for instance... I've needed a bra since about 15. I'm not keen on them, and for a long while didn't worry... Now old mother time is having her laugh too and has brought in a policy of southern migration with the threat of armpit fulfilment at night... lol

I still avoid them if possible, but when the back starts going eek, eek, eek, there's nothing that will sort it apart from dragging the merchandise back up north.

[JenGurl]

I'm willing to bet if you had a large chest there would not have been any silence about admitting wearing a bra. Maybe she thinks you don't need a bra because you don't have a big enough chest to warrent wearing one.

Then she asks if I wore a bra. I said sometimes. Thats when she went quiet. I asked her what she thought about that, she replies with, "Thats disgusting you don't need to wear a bra". Thats were the conversation ended. Any thoughts on what she could have been thinking.

[Marla S]

Well... Sometimes old father nature is a bit of a trickster... take lil' ol' me for instance... I've needed a bra since about 15.

(Am I envious ? Maybe a bit.... yes I am in a way)*
An exception doesn't break the rule. Sometimes even trans-people are accepted and respected by their SOs. And I wouldn't rule out that there are some GGs that love their bras.

A guess:
If ccrossed32 would need a bra (anatomically), his SO would have already said "You need a bra", or she would have send him to the doctor, or to a workout.

*I stick with camisoles and tank-tops for swimming (don't like swimming with a bare chest)

[AmberTG]

Ya, we wear a bra to help make us feel feminine, GGs wear a bra from necessity, gravity can do bad things to breast tissue, especially the larger ones.
Amber

[eleyna]

My wife asked me last night why I was wearing one of nightgowns. I told her I liked the way it felt. It almost feels like her. Then she asks me If I was a crossdresser. I said I liked wearing panites because of the way they felt againt me, then she says I dont blame you I like the way the silk and satin painties felt too. Then she asks if I wore a bra. I said sometimes. Thats when she went quiet. I asked her what she thought about that, she replies with, "Thats disgusting you don't need to wear a bra". Thats were the conversation ended. Any thoughts on what she could have been thinking.

Babysteps. 2 out of 3 - pretty damned lucky. And it could just be a stylistic thing about the bras. I don't often wear one simply because it looks kinda gross on my body shape.

[DonnaT]

Well, she asked if you wer a crossdresser, and you evaded the question. Then admitted to wearing a bra. Maybe she was thinking CDs wear a bra, and that makes you a CD.

Seems to me that it's time you find out what she thinks of CDs in general, or why she thinks wearing a bra is disgusting.

[Wendy me]

you had a chance to take a step forward ,.... even though a small step one of many on the way to her gaining some understanding.....

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with the others. I would guess that your wife was thinking that to wear soft sensual clothes that feel nice to the touch, whether you are a man or a woman....that's sexy. But wearing a bra (which she presumeably thinks is purely a functional thing) especially if it's a plain funtional bra, on a man, well....that's different.

There's a point where a guy is "crossing the line" and for your wife a bra is her line. Some people's wives have "their line" come much sooner, at least she's ok with nightgowns and panties, some peoples wives don't even allow loose women's jeans.

I'd say, stick with nightgowns and panties for now, at least you've got a place to work from. The fact that she seems ok with some lingerie is a good start. I'd say that somehow you have got to get her to see that soft silky, lacy bras are in the same catagory as soft silky panties and nightgowns.

Good luck

[Sarah Rabbit]

Sorry Marla, but I disagree. There are some GG's who obviously do not need to where a Bra, but do so regardless. I'm sure they see it as a statement. I am 'Female' and will dress as such, Bra and all. I wear a Bra because it is what females do and I am part female. I too find them uncomfortable, yet natural. what can a Girl Do?

Sarah R.

[Marla S]

Sorry Marla, but I disagree. There are some GG's who obviously do not need to where a Bra, but do so regardless. I'm sure they see it as a statement. I am 'Female' and will dress as such, Bra and all. I wear a Bra because it is what females do and I am part female. I too find them uncomfortable, yet natural. what can a Girl Do?

Sarah R.

You are absolutaly right, but do we want to discuss every breast size and form concerning the necessity to wear a bra ?

What I tried was to see it through the eye of ccrossd32's SO (I am not a GG, so i might have failed terrible. Don't even know her b...... erm, we leave that out.).

Additionally: You can beat me to death, but I more and more get the impression, that it might be wise for us CDs to read some books about women's movement and feminism before comming out to our SOs, instead of reading transgender-literature. Doing so we might learn something we need to be emphatic and to avoid to drop a brick. Just think about the burning of the bras in the 70's. I could be wrong, but I assume the GGs had reasons to choose this as symbol .
I am not saying that all of GGs are feminists, but this movement is an integral part of the feminine culture, had impact, and there still seem to be "needles" that really hurt. As we want to be part of the feminine culture, it should be our own interest anyway.

[eleyna]

You are absolutaly right, but do we want to discuss every breast size and form concerning the necessity to wear a bra ?

Does it have to be discussed rather than simply considered a possible factor? Your argument seems to suggest that unless it is discussed it must be discounted. That doesn't make sense.

To ccrossd32:

Many of us crossdress as an expression of feminine qualities we embrace at the cost of meeting societies definition of "manly". I so often hear it said that women are better lovers and your wife clearly understood a sensual motivation and connection in your wearing soft things. Build on that, forego the bras for now, if you have feminine aspirations, allow yourself this chance to bring out a more sensitive, romantic, tender aspect. Allow yourself to express your girly passions to her intimately, and then if she still wants more, you have your manly aspects to call upon. And when the guy in you rolls over and falls asleep, let the girly side back to be the tender-after lover that women so often complain we men lack...

[tvgirl4fun]

I think when she asked if you were a crossdresser and you didn't say "Yes", you blew it! Jaie

[Marla S]

Does it have to be discussed rather than simply considered a possible factor? Your argument seems to suggest that unless it is discussed it must be discounted. That doesn't make sense.

Women's breast sizes don't have do be discussed in detail.
What has to be discussed is the desperate try to find rational arguments for us to face an obviously emotionally dominated reaction by cc..'s SO. (Where should that lead to ? ---> being at cross-purposes).
If it would be only rational arguments that count cc..'s SO could have said "No I don't like it" or "I think it doesn't look good", but she didn't. She felt disgusted, which is far beyond rationality.
For us a bra might be a high-symbol of womanhood. For a lot of GGs obviously it isn't. Instead it seems to be a symbol with negative connotation too, especially if worn by a GM (doesn't matter if this is rational). We should take this into account when we seek for acceptance. I think in this case this is one of the easier exercises.

Other than that. Of course there might be objective reasons to wear a bra for a man. But are these reasons really the ones that make you like to wear a bra ? We should be honest.

[ccrossd32]

Thak you ladies for all the advice that you have given me. I will take all the sugeations to heart.

[DAVIDA]

What are the chances of that happening

NOT TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!