Shopping : I tried, but couldn't.

[Adrienne Heels]

The other customers aren't watching what you are doing...they are too busy doing their own shopping. And the store doesn't care who you are...they just want to sell their stuff. Just go for it!!

Go to the mall soon as it opens...less crowded then

[Wendy me]

i pmed this to our sister but thought some outhers might like to try it if thay are in the same way as her.....




hi girlfreind lets get you shopping ...... no need to get all stressed out shopping is fun and look at it that way.....lets begin ready??? ok lets have some fun ok?? your shopping for your girlfreind Michelle and you have her sizes but tou need some helpe ...with me so far ??? cool let's go this is going to be fun...


ok now you go to the store find a cute gg sales girl...
tell her your girlfreind is haveing a birthday and you want to get her something nice....tell the sales girl you need some helpe with finding something ....(you said you wanted a sun dress right?) ok so tell the sales girl you have your girlfreinds size... and you want to get her a sundress....tell her your not good with this but you think you know what she might like..

know tell her you need helpe in finding it,...and tell her your just a little uncomfy shopping in a womans store...then have some fun as she helpes you out finding the dress...ask her to helpe you with shoes that go with the dress.....

99.9% of the sales girls out there will love to helpe you out...and ask for a gift recpte if your girlfreind needs to return it....

this way you can get what your looking for have helpe picking it out and if your a little worked up thats ok your sales girl will helpe you get through it

ok so get out and play the shopping game...it's fun ...it's easy.... and you get to go shopping ...

enjoy..................

[NewbieCD]

I am lucky i have an SO (CDsWifey) she helped me shop for what i wanted to buy i was so excited i think i called to much attention to me self (Oh well) but it is still nerve racking to hold up something i want for me (and i wonder how many ppl see me whisper hold up something and smile like a goof ball LOL) i know it will get easier with time but i do not think even if i could do it on my own I would I like doin it with her it is like a shoping spree with the girls (lol)

[Michelle Ellis]

I am lucky i have an SO

Oh! You are SO lucky I'd be in dressing heaven right now if I had someone to hold my hand LOL (sigh)

Thanks everyone, it helps.

I just got back from my second trip to the store (another dept store), I still didn't feel well so I didn't even try, all I got was the charcoal I needed for my grill.

Like I told Wendy (thanks again Wendy!) I don't mean to try and act cute here, I get really (really) nervous about this stuff, and I'm shy to boot. I normally repress all my emotion so I think it just all comes out (in force) thru Michelle.

Trying to work myself up for another attempt tomorrow.

M

[Megan_S]

Tips on shopping @ walmart. I've just started a job working as part of a remodeling crew for a Super Walmart in my area. I work the 0800-1700 (5pm) , M-F shift. For the past week we've been remodeling the lingerie and women's wear section of the store, so I have a bit of inside info.... The store is pretty much quiet until 10ish. When I first get there @ 750, there is like one person aside from the ladies at the fitting room that are in that section of the store. So, your best time to go to avoid crowds is early morning. After 10-1030, you start getting a bunch of people and it picks up all during the day. I don't know what the store is like on the weekends....

All the associates are going to be professional, and the only thing you might get is an odd look or two. After all the Customer is always number one. One point of advice...just make sure they aren't remodeling your store...else you may have about 10 people crawling over the section!!

Hope this bit of Intel helps!

[Sindy]

I still have not gotten over the fear. You just got to do it regardless of the fear. One of the tricks I use is that I pretend to be on the phone with my "girlfriend" do some playful arguing like "what size?, what kind of dress?" things like that. Works for me. The main thing that upsets me is if the salesgirl is someome I wouldn't mind asking out some time. Hard to ask out a girl when she sees you buying clothes for your girlfriend, but that's the sacrfice I must make.

Above all, remember, no one is watching you. How many times have you bought underwear for your male self and looked around to see if you are being watched or better yet, how many times have you stared at what other people are buying. No one cares, it's all in our paranoid minds. If the nervousness gets to be too much, wait for the holiday season, that seems to be when I get out to the stores the most.

Have fun and I hope you get that sundress, darn, now I wanna shop for one!

[Elena Ambasce]

Just another "you are not alone"...

I've gotten up the courage to go shopping specifically for my female side just once... Hit the local Megalo^WWal-Mart and picked up myself a nice top and a purse. Lots of drifting into and out of the women's department all the while paranoid thoughts running through my head... But in the end, just like everyone says, the world didn't end, there were no police, no public humiliation, just another person buying stuff.

I have bought the occasional little thing tacked onto other stuff I was getting; a tube of mascara here, a necklace there, that sort of thing. Haven't had the gumption to buy anything ultra-feminine like lipstick that way though.

I've also done mail-order a bit... have one of those Mailboxes Etc. (now UPS Store) boxes, originally got it because I needed an address in town before I moved here, but proved useful for buying stuff. But now I know some of the staff there, so I'm totally paranoid about packaging saying too much... bought some stuff from Newport News last year, came packaged in just a big bag with a big old NN logo on it, totally obvious it was a bunch of clothes (was expecting a box) but it was around Christmas so I just kind of acted like it was gifts for womenfolk, which I guess it kind of was ;-)

Anyway I guess what it boils down to is I'm totally in the closet, but even with all my paranoia I manage to buy stuff, so you can too.

*Hugs*

[Michelle Ellis]

It's 2:30am and I can't sleep, trying to soak in all this great stuff and use it as fuel tmrw

I've done one mail order, I did it next day air, but the package got left behind at a ups facility and caused a one day delay... that was a little stressful, and worrying about the packaging and everything, don't think I could do that again. I've been telling myself that a trip to the store is on my terms, I can begin and end when I want, and not have to be bound to a delivery time.

M

[julie w]

as long as you dont meet people you know .who cares enjoy your self ,I buy
clothes all the time and only once did a check out women say anything ,
and that was (enjoy) and you no what I did , go when Its not busy
it can be a bit nervy when there are lots of women shopping and dont
keep looking around you will look suspicious

[Angie G]

when I started shopping I'd think what if this sa thinks this is for my, that went away after awhile now I go get what I want no second thoughts even for more personal items I don't even think about it now.
So go do it you will findout it no big deal.
one day me wife & I went shopping we both got a pais of shoeshers size 6 1/2 mine size 10 if the person cashing us out thinks the 10's aremine so what ''I DON'T GIVE A RATS BEHIND. IT ONLY SHOPPING!!!!!
Not to be hard on you girl but go shopping you will love it once you start that $500 will be nothing.
Love and hugs
Angie G.

[Deidra Cowen]

Don't feel bad...shopping in drab to this day makes me nervous and I hate it! It is easier enfemme since you don't have to worry about people reconizing you...at least thats how I feel about it.

That being said I still do it in drab sometimes due to time contraints. You just have to get over the fear, go in there and get your stuff! Drug stores are a great way to buy some femme stuff for the first time by the way. Go get a bit of makeup or lipstick at one of those for a little practise. Then work up to the dept stores.

Hugs

Deidra

[Phyliss]

The first time I finally decided that "this is the day" to buy some panties I was so nervous I could barely drive my truck and I was still five miles from the store. I just KNEW that everybody else on the road KNEW what I was going to do. With still a mile to go I changed my mind and went home with nothing. After three more trys, of getting to the parking lot and leaving without stopping, then at least getting out of the truck and finally getting up the courage to walk by the store. One day I just walked right in and bought exactly what I wanted with no questions or comments from anybody.

OMG the world continued to exist afterwards. I was hooked from then on.

I was a Knight on a quest, and had Dragons to slay. with each time I made a purchase, the feelings of fright eased. Then came the day of "going out fully dressed to shop" Here we go again with the fright. By the end of the day I was a master shopper without fear.

[SamanthaS]

Damn. For a couple weeks I've been building myself up. I read a bunch of shopping threads here, convinced myself the only way to shop was to just go into the store and get it done! I got 500 bucks cash set aside and a new dedicated credit card in case I need it.

Had a hard time sleeping last nite (Friday) and woke up early with major anticipation. Jumped in the car and headed off with a few stores in mind. By the time I walked into the first store (just Walmart, I know I know) my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty and I had a bad case of butterflies. I wandered around trying to build my nerve to walk into the womens clothing section. Never happened, I got close, but couldn't even bring myself to look in the direction of the clothes I was really feeling sick at that point. So I left.

Next stop was 7-11 for something to drink, had a smoke and calmed down in the parking lot. Then it was off to the mall.

I went into Pennys and here comes the nervousness and butterfiles again. I saw one younger girl working there, wow, what a knockout, and I must have flushed 10 shades of red, thought to myself (insert my sig here) and I ran outta there as fast as I could.

Never even made it to the rest of the places I had in mind.

Now I'm back at home feeling miserable, I was so freaked out. And my butterflies still won't subside.

How in the world did you girls ever get thru the first shopping trip? I just don't think I can do it...

M

Everyone has felt the same way at some point. Try shopping at X-Mas time

[JasmineR]

Keep trying hun,

Nobody is going to wonder why you are shopping in the women's department but the best thing to do for nerves is go when it is slow. This was said earlier and it is true. If you go in a smaller store in the mall and go when a few shoppers are in there it's not as bad either. Plus the associates are always nice and helpful. It's nice when the associate is like "Let me know if I can help you" or "We have plenty sales today," it makes me feel like they kind of know and don't care.
Once you shop and you know the associate knows, your nerves settle some in the future.

[Phyliss]

Keep trying hun,


Once you shop and you know the associate knows, your nerves settle some in the future.

The only drawback to that is, once they KNOW what sort of clothes you like then they are sure to have everything you want, and your purse can get empty quite quickly.

I've gotten rather friendly at a local store and everytime I go in there I end up leaving with something.

[Stormgirl]

baby steps lass,baby steps

[Karren H]

Don't remember the first time shopping! Were you enfemme or in drab? I do know that the sales staff could care less what you buy....A sale is a sale is a sale...... And maybe you need to go some where that isn't too busy, like a resale shop, or a regular dept store, late just before they close or early when they just open. And not when they are having a sale!!! (which is too bad, costley enought maintaining two wardrobes....) I go shopping almost every week, with my business suit on, and I am the only guy in the womens dept. Lots of women around, and they don't give me a second glance. Even when I hold dresses up to check for length...hehehe If you want to try them on, go to a store that doesn't have assisted dressing rooms....Kohl's is a good one. Wallmart and Kmart are not...

But just go buy something simple, quick and easy....hit and run shopping....and you will see how easy it is!!!! And once you get hooked, there's no turning back!!!

Love Karren

[Abby]

I like Penny's and Dillards, the sales people are there to help you and make a sale. If you wish to shop Wal-mart, go early or late, less people.

Hugs

[Michelle Ellis]

One of my big reasons for going to Walmart first was that I could wander around other sections of the store, like electronics (which is adjacent to women's clothes) until I had the nerve to enter. I was pretending to look at DVDs and said to myself OK, lets go! Meaning to enter the womens section I proceed to walk straight out without even looking in that direction, my heart was just pounding LOL

I should probly try taking a valium or something (j/k)

I decided to not go early today, I'm going to wait till an hour or so before closing and do my best to walk straight into Macy's and get a sales assitant right off, let her do everything for me

M

[Karren H]

One of my big reasons for going to Walmart first was that I could wander around other sections of the store, like electronics (which is adjacent to women's clothes) until I had the nerve to enter. I was pretending to look at DVDs and said to myself OK, lets go! Meaning to enter the womens section I proceed to walk straight out without even looking in that direction, my heart was just pounding LOL

I should probly try taking a valium or something (j/k)

I decided to not go early today, I'm going to wait till an hour or so before closing and do my best to walk straight into Macy's and get a sales assitant right off, let her do everything for me

M

For most it's the checking out that's uncomfortable.....that's why the newer Wallmarts with the self checkouts are nice..... Grab a few bras and some panties and don't have to explain it to anybody... You must be really anxious..... when ever I go to Wallmart to get anything I always end up in the womens dept or the makeup isle!!!! lol

But hope your shopping tonight is fruitful!!!

Love Karren

[Melinda G]

Like I've said in other posts. We are too hard on ourselves. To us, it's a big deal. Most other people don't care, even if they know.

[Michelle Ellis]

I'm such a I got nothing accomplished this weekend besides making myself sick with worry

Baby steps is right, if I take much smaller steps it'll take me another 30 some years to get this done...

[Silkblouse]

.. .. oh Dear , we All want you to feel better ,

. . . I still get wobbly , however , a little trick I've learned to play on myself,is:

.. .. I'll just look ," purchase nothing! OK! ,... oh , OK ..."

. . . then in my expen$ive drab , I make the rounds , Bloomies , Saks , Bergdorf Goodman [ga$p] . perhaps up Madison Ave or down to Macy's , it helps ,...

. . . Retail Therapy ,... when you touch a very nice designer piece and KNOW you've gotta have it , well , make it happen grrrll

[tekla west]

I fought myself about posting this, but the angels of my better nature won out. So.....

Wall-Mart is one of the largest reasons for outsourcing of American labor, sending jobs overseas that once upon a time supported hard working Americans. Wall-Mart uses slave labor in China. And I don't want anything made by slave labor, no matter what, or at what price. 70% of the merch in Wal-Mart contains components made in China and since the early 90s over 1 million American jobs have been outsourced to China.

What is not made in China, tends to be made by kids. Love third-world child labor, 'ya gotta love Wal-Mart.

Wall-Mart does not have an adequate compensation package for their workers, thus pushing costs off onto the communities. FACT - Average pay for a WM sales associate is $1,000 dollars a year under the poverty guidelines for a family of three. Costco pays its employes 65% more than WM, and makes more money. Under half of its employes are covered by health care, and we all pick up that tab.

WallMart discriminates against females in pay and promotions, in fact the current class-action lawsuit against them is the largest class action in American legal history. 1.6 million (that's right MILLION) current and past female employes of Wal-Mart are involved in this action. Wal-Mart's work force is 95% female, its management is 14% female. Overall women earned about $5,200 less

Wall-Mart censors artists, demanding changes in lyrics and cover art.

Wall-Mart is strongly Anti-Union in both its labor and its buying practices. As that noted left-wing thinker Dwight D. Eisenhower said: "Only a fool would try to deprive working men and working women of their right to join the union of their choice."

Wal-Mart is openly hostility to TG persons using dressing rooms, considering them "against family values" Apparently hate is family value to them.

Wall-Mart's massive surveillance of its customers habits and buying patterns is sick.

AND...... if all that was not bad enough....

There is the screaming, yelling, whining, nagging, crying children running around the store like it was a playground, and their sniveling parents who are putting on a graduate seminar in bad parenting - that is the ones who are not in outright competition for negligent mother/father of the year, 2006. Who needs that?

[Sam-antha]

Don't fiddle around. Just go to the department and buy one of whatever.
something simple, something you know the size of (not bras- too complicated-,
See it and buy it.