One more step out of the closet

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I've been working with a client for a couple months now, spending a good percentage of time on-site.

So Friday I was talking with S., the woman who's been my point of contact there, and the topic of weekend plans came up. I mentioned some friends of mine from out of town and I were going to see the SF Pride Parade on Sunday. S. mentioned she usually went to both the parade and took part in the Dyke March on Saturday, but couldn't go because her partner's relatives were visiting. So S. asked me to take lots of pictures.

Since we've got a good working relationship, I decided it was a good occasion to come out to her, since I'm gradually making my way out of the closet. Admittedly, it was a bit of leap of faith, since this is the first person I've told in my professional life and there's always the spectre of how it might impact my ability to make a living.

So today, when S. came over to look at the photos on my laptop, I started with some photos from the Trans March. S. seemed interested, so I showed her some more and said, "This is a friend of mine, who's a crossdresser -- and I happen to be one too."

S. replied, did I like boas and such, and I said not really, and showed her some of the pictures of myself en femme. S. was curious and we ended up talking for about an hour -- comparing her experiences as a lesbian to mine as a crossdresser. (For example, she was curious what sort of reception I got while out in public, since she's felt reluctant at times to engage in public displays of affection with her partner). Towards the end of our talk, S. apologized for the boas remark and I told her not to worry, since I just assume people don't know anything about crossdressing and trans issues.

So we'll see what happens. I did mention to S. that it was a leap of faith for me to come out to her because my concerns about how coming out might affect getting work. So, given her own concerns about being out as a lesbian, I'm sure she'll be discrete. But hopefully, it's one step in building up a set of friends who know about all of me.

[Sarah Smile]

Way to go, Marlena! Isn't it great to know people who accept you?

[kittypw GG]

Marlena,
I am happy for you. I am sure that if you came out to this person you felt comfortable that she has integrity and will become a great friend. You have to put yourself out there sometimes and it does pay off. Besides, who would not want you for a friend anyway? You are always so helpful on this forum, I bet you are a great friend. Way to go.
Kitty

[RachelDenise]

How cool that this seemed to work. I know its scary sharing this hidden part of you! You have my respect and envy.

[GypsyKaren]

Good for you Marlena! I know that for everyone you come out to, that's one less brick on your back. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to be accepted for who you are?

Karen

[Rickie]

Yes that was a leap of faith. But also a brave and strong thing to do. You have admiration.


Rickie

[KateW]

I'm really glad it went well for you, and congratulations on taking another step towards global acceptance. Next we have to work on bowling teams...

[ava_bruna]

Great start and look's good for both of you, but still nice to have that ace in the hole.

[Marla GG]

Wow Marlena, that was a leap of faith, and an act of courage. I am sure it was the right thing to do; sometimes you just know, and it sounds like that was the case with telling S. It was cool that you got to compare notes and that you found some common ground. I bet you felt really good after that talk with her. Here's to the start of great things!

Love,
Marla xx

p.s. awww, you don't like feather boas?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Marlena

I hope the leap up faith works out better than you hoped for.

[windycissy]

Way to go! There is nothing like having a friend to confide in, maybe she'll got out with you sometime for girl stuff like shopping and lunch, that would be so fun. Glad your boldness was rewarded. Windy

[Rachel Morley]

It's great news that S. seemingly took it in her stride. Mucho respect and admiration to you Marlena. I know that I certainly don't have the courage to come out to anyone who knows me from work.

Anyway, I just wanted to add my congrats and give you a virtual hug of support.

[Di]

Marlena, that is fantastic to hear....very happy for you.

[Dee 1062]

I think you'll be ok...we all need people to trust and talk with...I have found a few myself...and wow they tell me things...it's all good....
http://www.somewhereelseclub.com/

[michelle19845]

i came out to 2 differen't lesbian couples that are friends and i felt so much better and can be myself when i'm around them.we shared thoughts and experiences and talked about shaving and healthy eating.later one of them bought my ice cream when i was gonna get it.it was so great to be known as myself.i feel better each time i tell someone about me.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Thanks all! I think Gypsy Karen put it best, it's one less brick on my back. As Marla GG said, it was one of those situations where it just felt right to go ahead and do it.

And hopefully, a friendship will come out of it. It's still a little awkward because she's technically my client (although eventually things will wind up with this company) so there's a need to keep some professional distance.

BTW, I should mention, this was right thing to do for me. It may or may not be right for others. YMMV.

[pinkshelly]

I've told alot of people (mostly girls), and every thing is alright. most the people ask questions and then go on with life.
Sounds like she respected you and your lifestyle, or else she would not have appologised. I thing this is the start of a butifull friendship.
Huggs, Shelly.

[trannie T]

But how about the boas?

[Girly Sara]

That's great to hear Marlena. Can't beat having someone in your work environment to express your femininity to. In my last job there was a lesbian who sussed i was a tranny and came out with me a few times when i was enfemme.

In my current job, i'm on the verge of coming out to the MD's girlfriend! lol The other day, she saw my long nails and said "Awww, i'd love to paint your nails" I was lost for words! A first for me! lol She then made a comment that she'd seen it all in Thailand, Ibiza n that. I think you could say she knows about me! lol

Sara xxx

[Holly]

Marlena that is so great for you. Several within my circle of friends know of my CDing including one with whom I am professionally involved. Enjoy your new found freedom, but as you so astutely observed, this is not a path for everyone and one which must be walked with caution. Best wishes on your continued journey.

[Jenn2716]

Hi Marlena,
I am so glad that you took the leap of faith and have it work out for you. I can imagine what a sense of relief you felt when you saw that she was taking it well. Here's to getting rid of a few more bricks!