Stand up, Be proud! Fight for your rights, take a stand.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

It's way past time the CD community stood up and took responsibility for it's own acceptance. Not just piddly little university outreach here and there I'm talking major shit here.

I'm talking not hiding in the closets any more, whether personal ones, or larger ones.

I'm talking about not hiding from the SO's. It's frickin 2006 people and we've known for decades that hding is bad, but some of us still keep on doing it.

I'm talking about having enough pride to buy your makeup in the drugstores/chemist/M&S/Wal-Mart/Target/department stores like anyone else rather than paying a premium for overpriced stuff from some CD boutique. Same goes for clothing.

I'm talking about not making excuses while shopping or when someone asks why you shave your legs. No "it's for the wifey" no fake little shopping lists, no "I'm a bike rider"

I'm talking about being out in broad daylight rather than walking to the mailbox at midnight or just driving en femme without actually getting out of the car.

I'm talking about standing up against bigotry and standing up for yourself. If a group you're in is anti-TG, then for goddess sake quit and tell them why. If someone says a nasty slur, call them on it. If something gets printed in your local paper, write a rebuttal.

No ones going to hand you acceptance on a silver platter, you have to fight for it, work for it.

"But where I live (Texas/Arkansas/Rural Scotland) is full of rednecks and hooligans, Veronica"

Pooh on that, do something to change it. Stand together with likeminded people against them. Form alliances, speak out, embarass them, do whatever it takes to let them know that you will not tolerate bigotry. And no they won't beat you with a stick, that's hyperbole.

If there's not a group near you, form one. I'm trying to do that myself, it's hard, yes, but we have to do it.

And finally if someone asks you if you're a CD/TG, answer them simply and truthfully.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
Yep, that's my name, it's pronounced Ron-duhl not Ron-dell.

[tvgirl4fun]

I've always said the best type of advocacy you can do is to go somewhere "dressed". And I mean, the regular (non LGBT) places and events, where you get to intermingle with the general public. Jaie

[~Kitty GG~]

Yesssssssssssss

That's what I've been saying!

When Blacks fought for their rights it wasn't only the ones in Washington and way up North where the climate was more Black friendly (as if there was anywhere friendly for them then..) If they'd have used the excuses I've heard here.. They'd still be in segregated schools and only the janitors in office buildings.

When people see the first few CDs or meet the first few TSs out and about they will probably stare. They will probably giggle. But that'll get old fast. If you see a couple a day its no longer a novelty. Its normal. And everyone is much too self-involved to really care what you're wearing once you're no longer a novelty.

Wouldn't be nice if SOs and children just thought it was normal?

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Christina Nicole]

Go ahead. Some have much to gain and little to lose. Some have little to gain and much to lose. Falling in the latter category, I wish you well. Good luck!

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Toyah]

Go ahead. Some have much to gain and little to lose. Some have little to gain and much to lose. Falling in the latter category, I wish you well. Good luck!

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

With you all the way on this Christina Nicole.
I really dont get the we must make a stand thing, OK if you are TS you have a very fair point but if you are a guy in a dress it really is not a lifestyle thing its just a bit of fun and if it isnt then WTF you doing it for.
Its fun enjoy it but dont get carried away that everyone will say yes OK thats OK because they wont.
Take care where you go dont be confrontational, and if you are happy at home stay there its safe and not upsetting anyone

[Joy Carter]

The only bad part of a movement is that there will be bodies lying in a row, having been outed at work and having to retire early was not in my financial planning I fine but will have to stay in the work force longer that I would have. I'm willing to do what I can but not at the price of loosing.
0.02

[VeronicaMoonlit]

With you all the way on this Christina Nicole.
I really dont get the we must make a stand thing, OK if you are TS you have a very fair point but if you are a guy in a dress it really is not a lifestyle thing its just a bit of fun and if it isnt then WTF you doing it for.

Peter Oiler. Google it.

Do you want to be fired for CDing at home? No? Then don't you want laws protecting your civil rights? Yes? Then you've got to fight for them. Now you may be thinking, "I'll just stay very deep in my closet, no one will know."

Is that good for your mental health to do that?
Is that good for CD's as a whole to do that?

Take care where you go dont be confrontational, and if you are happy at home stay there its safe and not upsetting anyone

That's the problem with the past generations of CD's concentrating on being safe in their closets. Don't you want things to be better? Don't you want the next generation to have it easier than we did? Something has to be done.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Christina Nicole]

I really dont get the we must make a stand thing, OK if you are TS you have a very fair point but if you are a guy in a dress it really is not a lifestyle thing its just a bit of fun and if it isnt then WTF you doing it for.

Well, that depends. Two TS sisters I know well. One is entirely passable, the other is totally non-passable as women. The first is married, raising her adopted children and other than her immediate family, no one knows her past. The other one is out as a TS and an advocate. I know a lot of "stealth" TSs. Once they transistion, no one knows and they don't say anything. Life for them, is much easier that way. They just want to be women, they don't want to be warrior women.

What is more important than your freedom and dignity as a human being?

Exactly my point. Being TG ranks pretty far down the list for me. Husband, etc are far more important. Earning a good living to support my family well is more important. Freedom and dignity are measured and gauged differently by each and every person. Being labeled as a "crossdresser" while "fighting for my rights" would not enhance my freedom or dignity. What it would do is exactly the opposite. It would restrict my freedom, wear down my dignity, decrease my earnings, and erode the respect I've worked long and hard to earn from my peers and clients (no to mention friends, family, and neighbors.) There would be little gains in compensation in return. I have no interest in running around as a guy in a dress.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[purple_spider GG]

With you all the way on this Christina Nicole.
I really dont get the we must make a stand thing, OK if you are TS you have a very fair point but if you are a guy in a dress it really is not a lifestyle thing its just a bit of fun and if it isnt then WTF you doing it for.

There are plenty of transgender people who live full time without transitioning, they are not just a bloke in a frock they are doing it for real as much as someone who is transitioning would do. Perhaps for some it is fun but for people who are transgenderist it is not a case of dressing up for fun even though they are not transitioning!

I am all the way with the idea that no one should have to hide if they don't want to, why should people conform to please others and pander to the whims of conservatives in society?

Making a stand is good because the more you hide the more it implies that its your 'dirty' secret when in fact you have done nothing wrong I just don't get all this self loathing I read about on here, so many of you think you are somehow unworthy and then you berate people who have the guts to say 'i'm out and proud'. Hiding it and condeming yourself just feeds the transphobic attitudes of society. Don't let these conservatives win, in the UK we have made good moves towards affirming the rights of gay couples through civil partnerships and for transsexuals through the gender recognition act: it took protests, complaints and campaigns to get this recognised. The EU was our saving grace because they declared UK law in violation of human rights and it all went on from there.

Bit of militancy thats what I like to see - being a proud socialist and all that

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Go ahead. Some have much to gain and little to lose. Some have little to gain and much to lose. Falling in the latter category, I wish you well. Good luck!

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

What is more important than your freedom and dignity as a human being?


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Marla S]

What is more important than your freedom and dignity as a human being?

Freedom and dignity. And I'd like to add peace, health, family and friends.
It is a pity that these things often don't fit together.

You call this militancy? This is nothing. This is small beans compared to what other discriminated against people have done.

... and still do. It is a legend, that racism has died out; it's a legend that homosexuality is widly accepted. Maybe it is not PC anymore to be intolerant in some countries (areas, districts), but the vast majority of the people still is.

Only because you have a black secretary of state doesn't mean that blacks, whites and other etnic groups are treated equalliy ... you should know.

So, a CD-revolution is a romantic dream IMHO, as it is a dream that all homosexuals would stand up against intolerance (a minority does).

Go the slow way and the one that is approriate for you.
A little bit more boldness couldn't harm, though.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

VeronicaMoonlit,
What's with you and militancy?

You call this militancy? This is nothing. This is small beans compared to what other discriminated against people have done.

Do you ever smile and enjoy?

Yes, but sometimes action is needed.

"I'm talking about not hiding from the SO's. It's frickin 2006 people and we've known for decades that hding is bad, but some of us still keep on doing it." Do you have an SO? If so, have you made your stand?

Nope I'm single, but for damned sure I'm not going marry some socially conservative woman in hopes that living with her would cure me and then tell her after 30 years of marriage and then whine about how she's not accepting.

Any woman that I'll date will know by the third date. I can't hide the long hair, the earrings, the shaved body hair, the women's wristwach.

I did tell my mother, father and sister......14 years ago. I told my best friend and his wife about 5 years ago. I told my hair dresser. I've told many a shopgirl. and if anyone directly asks, I'll tell them too.

Girl, if you want to be the Susan B. Anthony of crossdressing, I say go for it!

There already was a Susan B Anthony, depending on who you ask it's either Magnus Hirshfield or Virginia Prince.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[JMO2]

OK, lets think about this logically,
1. Tomorrow I will wake up and put on whatever I want.
1. My SO all but sends me to the lions.....
2. I go out and go into a local store.
2. Being in a small town they think I have gone insane and the guys in the store want to kill me.
3. I decide to go to work dressed.
3. I am fired from my job and all but put out on the street.
Now, I am a closet crossdresser and do not intend to even think about some of the items mentioned. Good in theory but in real life....give me a break.......

(I do not mean to put anyone down just stating my opinion, sorry if I have offended anyone)

[Sarah Rabbit]

Unfortunately arrogance is running rife in the community. My family knows about Sarah and that was a big step. You lead the charge Veronica and I'll be right behind you (Ducking the tomatoes)

Sarah R.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Unfortunately arrogance is running rife in the community. My family knows about Sarah and that was a big step. You lead the charge Veronica and I'll be right behind you (Ducking the tomatoes)

Sarah R.

No, don't wait for a leader, become one in yourself. Because leaders can't be everywhere and sometimes one must stand on their own.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Sandra]

I've always said the best type of advocacy you can do is to go somewhere "dressed". And I mean, the regular (non LGBT) places and events, where you get to intermingle with the general public. Jaie

Great answer.

Veronica, my SO has done most of what you have said in your thread, she is 24/7 CD not TS and is out there in the public, if more girls did this then "joe public" would accept more and see that you are normal .

[Melanie R]

Veronica,

I am with you all the way. Peggy and I will be seen nationally in September on WE as the advocates for our community. The public will see Melanie at home and out in public. All of the suggestions provided by members of this board recently were addressed in the script of this documentary. Yes, we will face repercusions in our community. We will lose friends and family members but so be it. There may even be threats to our lives as has happened before. Hopefully we will also educate many. Melanie as well as many other members of our community will walk with our TG float for the 14th year in the Houston Pride Parade on July 24th. A TG , Phyllis Frye, this year is the Grand Marshall of the parade - a first in the US - and yes, we are in redneck country but proud of who we are. Last week one of our community who is a police sargeant came out to the Houston Police Dept. that he was having SRS and would be beginning the real life test as Julia in the next two weeks. The Houston Police Dept. is standing behind Julia all the way but the comments on all the local radio talk shows show how ignorent the public is. Our Houston TG community is standing behind Julia all the way.

Hugs,

Melanie

[gennee]

I've always said the best type of advocacy you can do is to go somewhere "dressed". And I mean, the regular (non LGBT) places and events, where you get to intermingle with the general public. Jaie

[SIZE="4"]I couldn't agree with you more, Jaie.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[maid phylis]

It's way past time the CD community stood up and took responsibility for it's own acceptance. Not just piddly little university outreach here and there I'm talking major shit here.

I'm talking not hiding in the closets any more, whether personal ones, or larger ones.

I'm talking about not hiding from the SO's. It's frickin 2006 people and we've known for decades that hding is bad, but some of us still keep on doing it.

I'm talking about having enough pride to buy your makeup in the drugstores/chemist/M&S/Wal-Mart/Target/department stores like anyone else rather than paying a premium for overpriced stuff from some CD boutique. Same goes for clothing.

I'm talking about not making excuses while shopping or when someone asks why you shave your legs. No "it's for the wifey" no fake little shopping lists, no "I'm a bike rider"

I'm talking about being out in broad daylight rather than walking to the mailbox at midnight or just driving en femme without actually getting out of the car.

I'm talking about standing up against bigotry and standing up for yourself. If a group you're in is anti-TG, then for goddess sake quit and tell them why. If someone says a nasty slur, call them on it. If something gets printed in your local paper, write a rebuttal.

No ones going to hand you acceptance on a silver platter, you have to fight for it, work for it.

"But where I live (Texas/Arkansas/Rural Scotland) is full of rednecks and hooligans, Veronica"

Pooh on that, do something to change it. Stand together with likeminded people against them. Form alliances, speak out, embarass them, do whatever it takes to let them know that you will not tolerate bigotry. And no they won't beat you with a stick, that's hyperbole.

If there's not a group near you, form one. I'm trying to do that myself, it's hard, yes, but we have to do it.

And finally if someone asks you if you're a CD/TG, answer them simply and truthfully.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
Yep, that's my name, it's pronounced Ron-duhl not Ron-dell.

i agree with you 100% you go girl.love phylisanne

[kaitlin]

Hello, I have read this (these) posts and I agree and disagree. I would love to be able to dress and act the way my heart desires anywhere and at any time but...I can remember a time when I would have joined in kicking a gay or crossdressed person. Now I am happy to say I am above that and I AM A CD! I also have many gay and TG/CD friends and love them all. But I also know that the stories of bodys being found on the side of the road and people who just become "missing" are true and no matter how much you push, someone will there to push back! Times will change and we will just have to enjoy what we have and let things take there natural course. Kaitlin

[Sophia Rearen]

[SIZE="3"]Wow, good debate you've started, Veronica. Thank you. The times, they are a changing. Can we not see it, because we are so close to it? Veronica is pushing for overdrive. Nothing wrong with that. Karren, may be in forth gear. Nothing wrong with that. The closet crossdresser is in first. Again, nothing wrong. I, myself, may be in fourth and about to shift to fifth. The rest of us fall somewhere between first and fifth. The important thing is, we don't find reverse.[/SIZE]

[EricaCD]

Hi! First let me say I salute the girls here who have resolved to bring about an increased degree of acceptance for the CD/TS/TG community. I wish you all well in your endeavors, but I will not be joining you by outing myself fully and insisting that society take note.

First things first: In this matter I make an enormous distinction between a garden variety crossdresser (such as myself) and a TS/TG/fulltime CD. I understand perfectly that in the case of truly transgendered individuals, the right to determine your own gender identity should be an imperative. For such individuals I can see the parallels to the civil rights movement. Not necessarily so for "ordinary" crossdressers. As Erica my choice of attire and appearance is, of course, limited by social norms with which I do not agree, but for me this is not tantamount to society denying me a fundamental right!

Therefore, when I look at the risk/reward balance of insisting on social acceptance of my fem side, well to put it simply this is not the fight for me. Sorry to not be able to be of more overt assistance, and I trust that my occasional forays out and limited exposure to the non-CD world will help advance the cause of acceptance in a modest way.

A final word of suggestion: Our more activist friends might want to think through the implications of creating a "you're-with-us-or-against-us" mindset in relating to those of us who do not intend to leave our closeted existence behind. This thread began to develop a nasty tilt in that direction for a little while. The fact that we do not share your sense of urgency in bringing about social change, and may therefore not be prepared to risk jobs, marriages, family relationships and friendships, does not mean that we are cowards.

Final note: I for one absolutely do NOT believe that a cd, by virtue of remaining in the closet, hinders the advancement of social acceptance of crossdressers. By way of example, all of us here draw comfort, self-confidence and inspiration from this forum, which is largely comprised of closeted CDs!

I was going to say "Just my $0.02" but this turned out so long I'm gonna make it "$0.03". Or does the price go down the longer it gets - I can never remember....

Erica

[Sophia Rearen]

Well said Erica. In essence, why would a cd, who is content with 10% of the time being "her" want to risk 100% of "his" life? Makes sense. However, there are other girls, and I'm not exactly sure how many, so I'll be careful with words, that are wanting and desiring to be more than a closet CD. So, Veronica is offering words of inspiration that may help some.

[~Dee~]

i dont think that there is anything eternally wrong with being closeted .. the only time that i dont like that kind of situation is when its hurting someone at the same time.
if you are happy and joyful being in the closet, i dont see any problem with that in the slightest. just be careful of the splinters.

if people do want to go out and about and they want acceptance then the truth of the matter is that something needs to be done about that.
i think that the best way to have that happen is to get out there are educate people .. i dont think people need to preach and wave their arms around on the street ... just getting out there and meeting people and having them understand a little more once you leave, its all a step forward.

its not like its going to change in a week or two .. but i do think that the attitude will slowly change.

[midwest GG]

Well Veronica, as a SO of a CDer, I am ok with his CDing. However, we did talk about it, and there is no way that we want our children to be affected by her dressing in any way, shape, or form. If that means that he has to hide it forever, so be it. Our first concern is our children's happiness and thier wellbeing with piers. Someday is along time away, but, someday they can know, just not at the ages of 8, 5, and 4 years old. That is not fair to them. My SO also doesn't want anyone else to know. Maybe he is a hypocrit, but, we just worry about us, and not anyone else. Most times, if you try to push your views on someone else, it just comes back to bite you in the butt later. There is always going to be discrimination, no matter how hard the world trys to fight it. Gays have been trying to change outlook of the community for many many years, and there are still millions of people out in teh world who don't want to know, or see it. That is their own opinion. I think it is great for CDers to go out into public feeling comfortable with themselves, but in a high class town of 1200 people, that will never happen, at least in my lifetime. That's ok though. Part of the excitement is hiding it anyway! I love having our "closet" relationship that no one in the world knows about!
I am not trying to affend anyone, just telling you our view, that's it!