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Hi Everyone. x
I want to start by expressing myself, simply for the fact, i dont feel in control!
I used to XD when i was 16, It was a fetish thing really, or so i thought. I used to feel a strangness inside me.
I knew it was wrong, ecspecially when i was found out at 18. I was told i was sick and needed help, by my mother.:mad:
I moved out soon later, but to this day im sat here as Fayth,
A cry for help maybe, but Im a big believer in fate, probably due to past experiences, what goes around comes around.
I remember my first XD experience, and think to myself, it was a long time ago. Is or was this a cause?
I read sources, on why it happens, is it a generation thing? Could be a number of things?
Alot of what i have researched for the last year makes sense, I feel more informed, Other ppl do it, At least I know im not mad, although my partner does not agree, which is selfish?, cos im sure it hursts her so much when Fayths around. lol.
It has become my 1st concious now, & i feel like my male personna is slipping away to 2nd best, subconcious is what keeps me in line,:evil: not to go out in public.
Although this is something i should do, I still feel like im unarmed, in a kind of sense. I need alot more confidence and direction.
This has turned out to be an essay and I could go on, but I hope you understand what i mean.
Gettin to know anyone would be great, so please. X