Are you finding it harder to slip back into your male personna?

[btmgrl6]

I don't know if this thread has come up in the past, but I'll ask again. How many of you cd'ers are finding it more and more difficult to slip back into your male self? And if you are... Does that worry you. I am especially interested in hearing from those with So's .
I guess that would include just about everyone.. lol
So..........................................

Steph

[Tina Dixon]

Yes it sucks, after the build up knowing you have time, then the time to get ready, I just hate taking it off knowing that she could be home at any time.

[btmgrl6]

I mean more mentally than say having to go to work, or expecting the SO.
In my case I found it harder and harder to revert, until finally I couldn't do it anymore. Or I stopped doing it... reverting back to my male side. Do you ever feel that your feminine side is taking over? And if so,do you find it cause for concern?


Steph

[maid phylis]

as a member of cdi i have the good fortune of being able to be my feminine self every wed evening.i just cant wait till i get home from work and start to get ready .so from around 2 pm when i start getting dressed till 9.30 when i have to get ready to leave to go home i am my feminine self and i feel so sad that we have to change back like the mice in cinderella.i guess that being two people in one body someone has to be the dominant one ,and i love my feminine side she keeps me on an even keel,love phylisanne

[Womanatheart1]

Hi Steph,
I do find it harder to slip back to my male self. Often, after a successful Stephanie experience, I am more efem: fem walk/swager, dipping of the shoulder when indiffernt, closely crossed legs, touching others softly efem way, wanting to pull my efem long hair back and being Stephanie around the girls. (I could be a part of their conversations as Stephanie in a minute and enjoy it) It really scares me that I might have forgotten to take off my errings, jewlry, makeup, heels or persona when I show up to work on Monday drab. Each time out I get closer to being a woman. My arms are now shaved, brows plucked, chest shaved. Makeup feels good and natural. Heels are comfortable. Weight and feel of breasts are almost unconscience now.
Yes - I am concerned.
Love,
Stephanie.

[Holly]

...Do you ever feel that your feminine side is taking over? And if so,do you find it cause for concern?


Steph

No, not at all. I find it cause for celebration!

[btmgrl6]

Iam with you.... Sometimes when I wake up, I just feel all dreamy inside.


Steph

[btmgrl6]

thank you. I was concerned too at first.......It was a real mind bender. And if any of you have read my posts...you know what happened to me


Steph

[Dee 1062]

Yes it is hard....I want to be the lady I am when dressed....It feels so good...

[miss-x]

yes it doe's after being infem all day you don't want to put your pants back on. so i just take off the dress or skirt and put slacks on and keep my bra and panties on and a nice top. it feels so natural now.no one ever notices or if they do they don't say nothing. my wife thinks it's nice that i just be myself.

[kristytv]

for now all i have to say is very much so!

[Jennaie]

What male persona are you talking about? LOL
I'm finding that I am in my female persona most of the time regardless of how I am dressed. I realized that the feeling of comfort and calmness that I got from being dressed was not the dress but the mindset that it put me in. So I have found myself staying in that mindset most of the time.

I only leave it to deal with other people but not near as much as I used to. I find that people are so much more comfortable with me when I am in my female mindset. They may see me as fem, but they are very comfortable with me.

[btmgrl6]

So A yes... of sorts. Mind set is what we're talking here . You are more or less like myself. I am in female mode 24/7 .

thanks

Steph

[MarieTS]

"Taking Over" is not the word for it. My femme side totally owns me.
Reverting back to drab makes me feel terribly out of place.
I take this to be a good thing!

[GypsyKaren]

I gave up trying to revert back to my male mode because it never really existed in the first place. It was always a source of confusion for me, it wasn't who I really am. Now that I've embraced myself as Karen, life is so much simpler now for me and finally feels complete.

Karen

[Kate Simmons]

Not really Steph. I'm pretty much at peace with myself as both Ericka and Richard, which is why I refer to it so much. It wasn't always that way. I was up so high as Victoria (then) once, I had a real problem becoming my male self again. After therapy and a lot of hard work, I've balanced both personas. This is one reason I changed my name. As Ericka, I'm free to be myself regardless of how I happen to present myself. Ericka Kay

[Clare]

[SIZE=3]My response is similar to Ericka's, in that I am comfortable with who I am as a person, regardless of whether i'm feeling male or female at any time. Just knowing that I can accept the fact that I like to dress in 'female' clothing and yet be at ease in my male world is a good feeling.

As long as I can keep myself in 'balance' i'm not concerned.
[/SIZE]

[Tina Dixon]

I mean more mentally than say having to go to work, or expecting the SO.
In my case I found it harder and harder to revert, until finally I couldn't do it anymore. Or I stopped doing it... reverting back to my male side. Do you ever feel that your feminine side is taking over? And if so,do you find it cause for concern?


Steph

Truth told I don't like to go back to him at all, I love being Tina, why can't I do every thing I do and like as him only as Tina, that would be my perfect world.

[Kristen Kelly]

The hardest time is after a weekend as Kristen, I will try to drive home enfem if possible.

[TGMarla]

No, it's really not a problem for me, either. My answer is much like Ericka's and Clare's. I've gotten to a point where the femme part of me is no longer in dominant control of my life. I am good with both sides now.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I am so comfortable as a woman that yes.....I don't want to go back to guy mode, and I don't think I've been in full guy "mode" (mind-body-spirit) in a year. I've become a blend.

Emily Ann

[RikkiOfLA]

Early on, my wife and I both realized there was a basic imbalance to my crossdressing--Rikki was having all the fun, and Rick was becoming a drudge! We agreed that it would be healthier to change that--to have Rikki do some of the chores, and let Rick have fun time too. We knew that would be a good test--Rikki would have to become assertive, which was important because my initial cutesy passivity as Rikki had driven my wife up the wall!

So I began doing some of the chores as Rikki, and we would let Rick do the romantic evenings. So I worked through "slip back regret" in that context.

The test succeeded for Rikki. I did become more assertive as a woman, and in fact , found it fun to do chores and especially errands around town as Rikki. I got more comfortable as Rikki, to the point where I was more comfortable around strangers as a woman than as a man. And I am to this day.

The test failed for Rick. The "fun" times as Rick felt lackluster. The only saving grace was that it was easier and safer as Rick than Rikki to publicly display my affection for my wife--holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc. in public. Otherwise I felt like I wasn't really there--like I was waching my life through thick glass, or on the television. I knew what that meant--Rikki was taking over. I was sliding down the slippery slope to full time.

I felt some anxiety over that, but I began to realize and accept that my core personality is female, not male. I have a lot of male interests (more exactly, interests that society says it is okay for a man to have), but I'm really a woman inside. Once I accepted this about myself, I realized that "slip back regret" was really separation anxiety from my true self. It's exactly like the business traveler for whom travel has ceased to be fun. He would really rather be at home with his family. Changing back to Rick was just like that for me--putting on a mask for work, or family, etc.

Fortunately for me, one of those male interests I have is sex. I really enjoy making love to my wife. My femininity makes me soft and gentle as a lover, and she likes that about me too. If I had a vagina would I enjoy sex with a man? Probably so. But I don't usually like men as friends as much as I like women. So meeting the right one would not come easily to me. And I don't have a vagina. I could get one, of course, through SRS--at a cost of thousands of dollars, painful, risky surgery, and so on. This question was a no-brainer. Since I'm deeply and happily married to my wife, I'll keep my body male.

At this point, I knew (and discussed with her) my real long-term goal--to live full-time as an openly transgendered woman. We both agreed that the real test would be finding and keeping that first job en femme. Transition on the job wasn't possible at my current employer. But I'm a resourceful job hunter. I actually enjoy interviewing and starting a new job. I found an agency that dealt with a lot of transgender clients and did some volunteer work there. The fit was good, and human relations actually helped me find a job there and come on board full time.

I've been full time ever since, and frankly, I love it. It's been the best 8 1/2 years of my life! I feel so much more comfortable. I make friends far more easily, and am much happier. I love being me!

Rikki

[hammer]

I am finding it easier to slip into my fem side. No problems slipping back....yet.

[Siobhan Marie]

My guy and femme sides blend to keep me balanced. I've noticed this alot lately in a lot of the things I do. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Anna x

[steffie39]

Lately I have been Steffie more. I may need to step back and start to limit it a bit more. Although my wife says it is OK for me to go out, I KNOW she must want some time with me as her husband. If I were to hypothetically become Steffie full time, my wife would not want to be with me. Compromise just comes with the territory.