There have been numerous posts about coming out in general, and particularly to your SO. All of the reasons are valid of course and I believe that any of us M2F or F2M in any “category” would prefer to be open about who and what we are, free of all the negatives. However, there are many, many reasons for staying closeted, and they are equally valid. Here are a few of my thoughts and please add to them.
While a few of these are ones personal to me, others are not.
Love of family and friends. To come out could or would destroy these relationships. Contrary to popular opinion, not all relationships can withstand our gender issues. It becomes a personal choice to hide this aspect of our lives.
Career. Again, many (particularly those who are older) are well established in careers and putting our CDing out there would halt it from any further advancement or ostracize us from many of our coworkers. Not all organizations have diversity policies. This of course could render us ineffective in our ability to perform.
Self Esteem. We simply have not the confidence in ourselves to put ourselves out there.
Safety. Like it or not we are lumped into the category of being gay by homophobics.
Privacy. Simply this is our deeply personal lifestyle (if you want to call it that) and we have absolutely no desire to share it with anyone. Period.
Comfort. “I am comfortable with who I am and see no reason to involve others.” Selfish or fact?
Please add to this list. I am sure there are many more reasons.