I've had more Nancy time the last few months because my wife has had several extended absences. The most recent one has been a week long and ends tomorrow night. I have become more comfortable with every passing day, but I've still avoided disclosing this aspect of my personality to neighbors and friends at my LGBTQ-friendly religious institution (LFRI). I have, however, let the cat out of the bag several times.
One night after dark, I opened the door to go fetch the mail, and a neighbor whom I hadn't seen said hello to me as he walked past with his dog. Instinctively, I said hello back, even though I've tried to drill into myself not to react to people I know. Just in case he hadn't actually seen me, I decided that withdrawing into the house might call more attention to me, so I continued out to the mailbox, wig and all, and went back in. I'm wondering what will happen, but I repeat my mantra: "Own it!"
Last week, I was backing the car out of the garage, and my next-door neighbor and his wife were approaching in their car. I should have just stopped and waited them out, but they had already seen my wife's car coming out, and so they were inclined to wait however long it might take. So I backed out and turned to go up the street, and this gave them a full view of a grey-haired woman not my wife driving her car. So my next conversation with them could be interesting, too. "Own it!", I tell myself.
Saturday, I attended (in drab) what was to be the inaugural meeting of a LGBTQ+ group at LFRI -- unsure whether to present myself as a member of the LGBTQ+ community or as an ally (I have two gay cousins, and trans-male juvenile cousin). I expected a gay friend to be at that meeting, and he already knows Nancy. What I didn't expect was that there were only six people there, counting me, and of those, one was a member of the clergy and the other a member of the board of trustees. It was not exactly a big turnout. My friend kind of dumped his emotional load about why he wanted a group like this to exist, and in support of him, I shared a brief synopsis of my own situation (might have been trans-female if I'd figured this stuff out 35-40 years ago). So now three people know this about me, and I have to figure out how I'm going to handle it. To me, getting the group started is worth the risk of disclosures, because it should be helpful who are far deeper into such concerns than I am. So I'll take another deep breath and say, "Own it!"