Outed again, this time a mem stick

[Helen_Highwater]

So may recall I was caught dressed when My SO brought up to my office some cucumber and tomatoes we'd forgotten to put on our lunch plate. Sat there in a skirt and tee as I recall.

Well this time it was a mem stick that we put photos on to of our grandchild for the great grandmother to see. Same senario, sat in stirt and blouse on the PC and I didn't hear her coming up the stairs until too late. Amyway, no real dramas, I sort of tut tut look, handed over the stick and left. I suppose some would say that was the moment for "the talk" but the moment passed too quickly so I let it slip by.

Upside. No firewords or nasty commnents and she's that little bit more that aware of my dressing. The talk will happen, I suspect in due course it'll present itself and hopefully we can agree a way forward.

[Debbie Denier]

I think the talk must happen asap. Your wife knows. There was no meltdown or screams which is positive.You may be able to come to some sort of arrangement even if she does not approve. My wife freaked out when she found my stash and made me purge. I came out to my mother and enjoyed dressing at her home for 10 yrs before she passed with her approval. That might not be the case with your wife but you will never know unless you discuss.

[Sandi Beech]

Helen,

Off the top of my head, I do not recall how much she knows, but it seems she has been tipped off a bit. If she has not already slammed you for it at least that is a plus. I take it she does not know about what you do on your week long excursions ?

Sandi

[Debs]

On the bright side Helen, we may be able to go shopping more often than once every November, lol

[Suzie Petersen]

Helen,

It kinda' sounds like a DADT situation by now. She clearly knows you have a thing for women's clothing, and if she had a big problem with it, she would likely have reacted in the situation you just described. Since she didn't, she might not really want to talk about it.
Of course you could argue that with a talk it is possible that you could gain some more freedom to dress at home, but you could also trigger a real situation that could easily go in the wrong direction.

So who knows what is best. I don't really feel "the talk" has to happen quickly, but you should probably be prepared to have it if she initiates it. It could come out of nowhere one day.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm confused, Helen? How many times must u post, "Been Outed by my SO", before you're really outed?

By the by, we call them flash drives across The Pond!

[bridget thronton]

She knows - but would still be good to talk with her

[danniUK]

It does sound a bit DADT, Helen.
Which isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world if its worked for as long as (it sounds like) it has.

Hope that if it leads to a talk then everything goes OK!

[kimgirl]

It does sound like you've gone into a DADT situation by default. But under it all, she may be questioning, angry, or whatever. That conversation does need to be done sooner rather than later.

If you start the conversation, at least you have some control over how it goes. If you wait for her, she will do it when you are least prepared, believe me, I know.

[Philipa Jane]

Hi Helen.
If she has seen you twice and never said anything then there is no need for you to have "the chat".
It might be better not to poke the bear unless it is something you are prepared for.
When I say that think about what you have to lose before you jump in.
Sometimes ignorance (DADT) is bliss.

[Fiona_44]

Helen,

I think "the talk" should happen sooner rather than later. Wives frequently fear that their CD'ing hubby may be gay, may want to totally transition, may leave them ...etc. Better to allay any worries she may have.

[alwayshave]

Helen, in my Hubble opinion you should have the talk. Are you going to wait until she blows up about it?

[Karren H]

Maybe she thinks you are really unlucky and lost a couple bets? lol.

[Helen_Highwater]

Hi Helen.
It might be better not to poke the bear unless it is something you are prepared for.
.

This is my quandery. It would be lovely to be free to dress around the house but then what happens when the question arisies, " Just how many pairs of shoes/boots/skirts/tops/dresses/cardigans do you have?" I'm opening up a potental can of worms so a strategy is needed to be able to deal with that

[CarlaWestin]

"Well, I thought this was the new thing. No? Really? I mean, I do kinda like it."



Seriously, at this point, I wouldn't want my wife fully involved. This is truly my activity in my space and it has its spontaneity.
Well, I don't know. Maybe as my photographer.

[carolyn todd]

helen you know your and how she think/feels about things, maybe its good time
to have that the talk to let the genie out of the bottle.

[Genifer Teal]

My brother asked my sister when he suspected about me. She knew but wasn't fully accepting at the time. In retrospect it would have been much better if my brother heard my side of the story instead of hearing it from someone who didn't appreciate it trying to explain what they didn't understand.

If this is on her mind, your wife may be discussing with someone. What ideas are they giving her about you? You may want to join that conversation.

[Connie D50]

Helen my wife and I had a major talk (a very heated one) about 10 days ago and two days later she invited me out to lunch as Connie. Been married 47 years this has happen before unfortunately we go back to the same route.

[Susan_Michaela]

Helen it sounds line an old show here on this side of the pond. The Lucy show with her husband coming in. Lucy you got some explaining to do!!

Good luck and soon I hope she has a really long fuse so the fireworks don?t go off too soon. Sometimes things build up to that point before they explode.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen , DA/DT can be a Good thing, We have a very workable DA/DT,

She knows everything, but don't want to see or talk about it, >Orchid**OO**