Going out

[Andrea Renea]

Char's advise is very good.

I'd say dress as the other people dress. Dont wear a evening gown to the grocery store. In other words dont over dress.

Its hard not be nevous the first time but 99% of the people will be respectful.

I go out several time a week. Most people know i'm a man.
Even in the supposedly mean south I'm addressed as ma'am or miss.

Ive been out with my wife to casinos and shoppings. We do this when away from home. We dont take the chance of being reconized together in our hometown

Just relax and have fun.

[Helen_Highwater]

Regulars here will know once a year I offer to chaperone those new to going out. I chose an LBGTQ friendly location well suited to a first night out and it sounds similar to the venue you've chosen. As others have said, don't over do the dressing. A skirt and blouse with modest heels, spending hours in heels in the house is nothing akin to spending hours out and about in terms of how tiring it is on the feet and legs. There will be some who go full on glam no doubt but for a first time smart chic is a better option.

A little planning works wonders. If you know the area then you'll know somewhere not too far away that you can park. Remember your first time out will be actually leaving the car and walking the streets not being in the venue. If you don't know the area then I recommned using Google street view to check it out and again find suitable parking.

Once there try not to think everyone is starting at you. It helps to get there early so you can grab a table in case it gets busy later on. If you're dresed to blend then that's what you'll do. Yes you'll have butterfies but they will quickly fly away. Also remember, the bar staff have seen it all before so don't be afraid of chatting to them if it's not too busy.

You may find yourselves sharing a table. Don't be afraid of engaging in conversation with others there. A couple of years ago Mel and I shared a table with a Transwoman and her male gay friend. We introduced ourselves and had a good chin wag for over an hour before we moved on to anothe pub.

Don't drink too much. Dutch courage is not a good thing. Stay in control of your actions. You'll have a better time and outcomes if practicing moderation.

As for eating first. Have you considered a drive through? It's a way for easing yourselves into the evening. A passing interaction, a little ice breaker before the main event.

Finally try not to get too worked up in advance wondering about the what if's. Stay calm and carry on, all will be good, trust me, I've taken many out over the years and never had an issue. Heck, a couple have even gone on to go full time so I must be doing something right, right?