I don't usually get fully dressed in fem... hair, makeup...etc.. for sitting around the house. But when I plan on going out I dress completely just to be more comfortable with myself in public. I'm not a showy personally kind of person as a general rule. I have been on stage in plays but that is the time for that.
Otherwise, I dress in whatever clothes I feel like given my surroundings. If we are having company.then under dressing maybe.
Have to add this anecdote.
Have you ever watched a woman put a scrunchie in her hair? I have always watched and been mesmerized by this simple task that gg's have probably been doing since they were children. And some are sooooo good at it.
Yesterday I decided to try a few different looks with a scrunchie and I was shocked at how this incredibly simple looking task is actually a learned skill. I made a total hash of it lol! Much like makeup or putting on falsies,
or coordinating clothing and shoes it takes practice, practice. practice. It reminded me that looking completely female is work and once you begin the process you realize that there will always be something new to try or
something more to perfect and realize it will always be a process. There are so many intricacies to learn that gg's have just naturally practiced for years and years but the process is mesmerizing and enjoyable to me
all the same.
FM
Last edited by Felicia M; 10-12-2019 at 10:29 AM.
I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.
Rainer Maria Rilke
https://www.flickr.com/people/170325405@N05/
Not seeing that, AT ALL, and i spend most of my time here in the sections where those topics are most frequently discussed. Now, we can debate the appropriateness of the motivation behind an individual's pursuit of this or that treatment, but I defy you to show me a case where that motivation, for seeking expensive, painful, even dangerous therapies, is motivated by some kind of competition.Originally Posted by ellbee
I think you are lumping everyone together like you are with all the forums. Not all CDs even use sites like these, let alone feel comfortable sharing their experiences and feelings. You should understand that considering you say you've been lurking for years.
Do you go out in public wearing females clothes only? I love to, others would never dream about it. If I only read posts pertaining to people like me, I'm going to have that specific perception.
If this was a pop music site, think of how it sounds saying I don't get all the people here that feel the need to wear a band shirt to that bands concert. One person's heaven is another's hell.
Lastly, every person on here is at a different place in life, especially in their journey as a CD. For a lot of us, we were at your stage and we felt it just was not enough. It has nothing to do with a herd mentality here. I've noticed most CDs dress in the era that made them feel happy or free. Here on this site, it seems most here are older so the vibe seems to be with the stages of wanting to be passible or more.
I hope this helps or gives you food for thought
Live, laugh, love!
As a senior never married guy, and no SO, in a dull small town, one reason is being STARVED for female beauty, and love. i dress up as the very tall attractive lady, i never had any chance to date, court and marry. I am six foot six, too, and like the tall, leggy lady dressed up in the fashions i like. The number of times i went out in public, i know i could never fool anyone up close, but from a distance, maybe. I value my male side now, though for years i hated myself. My dad never wanted sons. After having my sister, he got three unwanted sons. But, i thank him for always providing for us and working. i was kept away form girls and was afraid to talk to them for a long time, did not date until late 20;s and very rarely.
Last edited by Alice Torn; 10-08-2019 at 03:24 PM.
Hi Stephy, For me that's what it is all about ! >Orchid ..0
0..
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
For me, dressing is manifesting who I am in my heart.
Couldnt have said it better
JAS
I will give you my take on the whole "passing" thing...
Back when I was just a crossdresser ( that is before I stopped denying that I was actually trans) having the perfect female form and appearance was my obsession and passing %100 as a woman was my goal. I spent a lot of time and money attempting to reach that.
After I came to terms with myself being Transgender, I no longer feel the need to try to pass perfectly. Don't get me wrong I still wear a dress, breast forms, and makeup when I go out. But I rarely wear my hips or butt pads anymore. I don't try to change my voice.
It's simple for me. I can't go out of the house comfortably as a man in a dress. I've done that before (in skirts) and I feel I'm drawing too much attention. Disguised as a woman I simply fit in to the crowd in whatever outfit I choose to wear.
Looking completely female is very important to me, in fact the most important thing.
I want not only experience the feel of light soft fabric gliding over my smooth skin.
The chance to put on make up, eyelash extensions, gel manicure, pedicure to show off my toes.
I want to be treated like a beautiful woman. I want to experience what it feels like to be admired (if at all possible). I want to experience what it feels like to have men look at me and have certain desire in their hearts,
When I get dressed I don't skip a thing. Its all on head to toe before I go out.
And I admit the process of getting ready to leave home in my new self is so liberating for me.
It did occur to me that one reason you see so many posts about those here who seek to look as feminine as possible is these are the "newsworthy" subjects to post about.
If you're someone who regularly puts on a dress and say femme underwear and stays indoors then posting,"Hey, gess what I did today" isn't really, if you'll pardon me for saying so, that interesting. It pushes no real boundaries and so folks are unlikely to post about it.
If however, you're someone who's been longing to go out and finally gets to experience that thrill then that invites a post, a desire to share your triumph.
Time also plays it's part. How often have you read of starting at an early age with sister's/mom's knickers, moving on over the years to skirts, tops and dresses? Socks for boobs leads to buying first forms. You like what the mirror shows. A wig follows and you see a huge transformation in the person staring back. A corset and hip pads makes you look even better. You're slowly drawn towards looking ever more femme. There's that point where you realise that you're doing a reasonable job of emulating a woman and then adding makeup, that final bit of camouflage brings on the realisation that you look good. But like an athlete, you now want to improve your performance.
Not wishing to reignite the debate but many of us who go out know we don't pass and never will. Our aim is to blend, not to stand out or draw attention. We want to go about our business with as little or no fuss as possible. In looking as femme as we can we achieve that. Also people respond to that more favorably so it's a win win all round.
Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 10-08-2019 at 04:51 AM.
Passing as a female is not important to me. Quite honestly it's going to take a lot for me to pass. It's all about how the clothes make me feel.
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.
Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!
I think it the natural evolution for me. I started with bras and stocking, then moved to clothes, then heel, then makeup and finally a wig, This was over a 20 year process. It was a lot on time and money just to sit around the house. Going out and trying to blend is just the next step.
Sara
Well with me.... I always want to look fully like a girl because I loved the clothes and well I wanted to be Someone other then me. I have a general sense of Dysphoria Bout my life. Not particularly about my sex but life in general. For me it started off as a form of escapism so I wanted to completely look like someone else.
Plus I would love to this beuitiful woman. As I find myself generally not attractive... large nose, huge pores, girly cheek bone structure, huge forehead. So being something/someone that I find as very attractive is well very attractive to me. Not that I turn myself on! Just the feeling of being good looking is pretty euphoric.
My female persona, Victoria, is this smart, funny, beuitiful, and fashionable person that I don?t see my normal self ever really being.
I’m one of those who wants to look female all the time. In my heart I’m fully female, and I want to look like myself. I want to look in the mirror and see a woman looking back at me. When I go out I want others to see a woman and interact with me as a woman. I spent much of my life pretending to be male, and I’m sick of being a fake.
There are others who feel as I do, but I suspect I’m in the minority here. To each her own.
I think the simple answer for a lot of us on the trans spectrum is that we?re just trying to look like our real selves.
Oh yeah, what Cynthia just said. (Great minds think alike)
Hi Stephy,
There are as many reason as there are crossdressers. We are all individuals and have our own outlook on crossdressing. What works for one does not for another.
When I joined here I also was asked for a female name which I used for over 9 years. On a few occasions I was referred to as "she" or lumped together with "girls" or "ladies" which I did not feel was proper description of me.
I've been crossdressing for many decades but never experienced "pink fog". I was always a male in women's clothes. never felt that I should be a female or behave like one.
Having a female name and participating in discussions on the forum seemed to me that I am an impostor. The views I expressed were coming from a male point of view and not female. I felt that I should abandon my disguise and come out as what I truly am: a male. A few months ago I changed my user name to reflect who I am.
From that moment all opinions expressed can be seen as coming from a male point of view. I feel now liberated. I am who I am.
It started about two years ago when I wanted to present myself as not a regular crossdresser who impersonates a woman but a man dressed in women's clothes. That's when I created a term: MIAD - a man in a dress to differentiate from female impersonators. I have nothing against those who want to look like women and appreciate their efforts to achieve it.
But I am different and wanted the community to know that while I wear dresses or skirts I have no intention to look like a woman. I want to be and look like a man in a dress. I spend most of my time dressed like that except for a couple of hours a day when I have to go somewhere, wearing trousers but always underdressed.
I guess that answers your question why it is important to look like a woman: not for everybody!
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
George is now my hero. I want to be George when I grow up.
Honestly, as someone who basically echoes everything George mentioned above - I love wearing the clothing, but at no point do I ever feel like a woman - I feel like I have to go from one pigeon hole to another. The "real world" looks at me as a crossdresser and thinks that I must be A, B, C. I'm weird that I wear womens' clothing. I'm a deviant of some sort. I must be gay. It's something we all know, and we're all familiar with. But I also feel that the crossdressing world looks at me and thinks I must be X, Y, and Z. I'm, expected to come up with a feminine name for myself. My desire to wear the things I do because of the inner lady trying to get out, and unless I start shaving my legs and learning makeup techniques, it almost feels like I'm being accused of repressing myself - like the line between crossdressing (the simple act of dressing in clothing made/marketed for the other gender) is somehow becoming blurred with the need to transition towards the female.
Don't get me wrong - there's a tiny curiosity when I've got female clothes on that wonders what I'd look like "all the way", but I feel it as a curiosity (and a rare one at that) and certainly not an urge.
So yep. Like George, looking completely female isn't that important - at least not to everyone.
George,
I do try and understand the MIAD point of view but please respect those of us who are out in the RW totally as women , we are dealing with our dysphoria and not trying to impersonate women .
To be fair to George though, the question was asked in the crossdressers section, as opposed to the transgendered area - to be honest, I've often wondered the same question as the op about the site, there does seem to be quite a few people in here who have, are, or want to transition.
Bearded, hairy, beer-chugging, truck-drivin', wife lovin' manly man......sometimes in lingerie and heels, and occasionally a cute dress. MIAD 4 life!
Teresa,
I do and always have respected all members here. I never criticise or disdain anyone.
I have read most of your posts and know that you are more of a TG than a CD. CDs being men do impersonate women. They do not try to be women, just look like women. Many times it's only infrequently.
A few years ago I had an employee in my shop who was a TG and was treated by me and others as a woman and not a CD.
Good luck with your neighbours.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
So I guess I fall somewhere between GeorgA and CynthiaD. I like both. There are times I'm out as a "gym rat" man with the tank top exposing the biceps, triceps and shoulders I have worked on for so long and there are times I prefer a dress presenting as a mature "soccer mom" . I like having the ability to choose.
For me, the complete look is the only way to go if I am going out. That is not to say I am looking like the perfect woman, but what I consider perfect for my look that I am trying to achieve. I feel better knowing that I am wearing what I look and feel good wearing. If I am called out as a Main in a Dress, then so be it. However thus far I have pulled it off without trying. Confidence in yourself is the key in my opinion. If you go out looking like a drag queen, then that is what people will see. if you go out wearing and looking age and gender appropriate, then I think that should be good enough.
In my head and heart I am a female. That's why I dress as nicely as I can so I can look the part to others.
