'Do' her or 'Be' her - What is our first thought upon seeing a beautiful woman?

[Ms. Donna]

There is a thread running over in the Lounge forum called You know your a real tranny when... And I found Miriannah's answer quite interesting:

These really are true for me: (some may have been said, oh well)

1) When you see attractive women and instead of thinking "I'd love to 'get with' her" you think "I'd love to be her."

2) When get talking to actual girls about beauty tips, clothing, shoes, etc and end up actually knowing more than they do.

3) When your male wardrobe sucks, but you don't care because you're more interested in building your female wardrobe.

4) When you look at your body and think "what is the point of body hair? It needs to disappear forever."

For me personally, I've experienced #2 in certain circumstances, #3 is pretty on track and #4 is just a given. But it's point #1 that I want to explore.

When all of this came to a head for me several years ago, I was in a place mentally where for nearly every woman I would pass on the street, I would vacillate between wanting to 'do' and 'be' her. I found the experience quite disorienting. I'm well past feeling 'disoriented' by any of this and have found that my first 'feelings' upon seeing an attractive women are very much on the 'be her' side of the fence.

I'll take note of nearly everything about her - clothes, hair, walk, etc - all of it in a very non sexual way. Then that feeling pops back up and I imaging 'being' her - living as this other 'woman'. And it's not like I don't find them sexually attractive - I often do - but more often than not, that thought just never makes it through. Even the times I've been with a group of guys and one of them comments (usually something crass) on an attractive women, they'll be going on about how hot she is and "gettin' some" with her.

Me??? I'm imagining getting up, getting dressed & primped and going out into the world - as her.

So girls... Do her or Be her - What's your first (and possibly stronger) feeling?

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[ronda]

i am like you i look at woman and my first tought is man i would like to look like her long leg small waist just right boobs. wow is that sexy. so i guess iam a be her not that i want to be anything other then myself

[GypsyKaren]

First of all, I gotta say that I'm not exactly thrilled with this thread, but to each their own. It just doesn't seem very "ladylike" to me.

When I look at a beautiful woman, it's just for fashion tips. I don't want to be her, I'm happy being myself.

GypsyKaren

[Jasmine Ellis]

First of all, I gotta say that I'm not exactly thrilled with this thread, but to each their own. It just doesn't seem very "ladylike" to me.

When I look at a beautiful woman, it's just for fashion tips. I don't want to be her, I'm happy being myself.

GypsyKaren

I'm with Karen I'm happy with myself, looking at women can give you a lot of tips.

[Lilith Moon]

Always my first reaction...to be her.

The more good looking she is the more I want to look like her, to be dressed just as prettily. By "good looking" I mean how well she dresses, how her particular taste in clothes appeals to me. Inherent beauty is important to me as well, but it is the clothes that initially attract my attention, then I start to notice the other stuff..face, hair, poise etc.

Whatever, my underlying urge is always to look like the person I'm looking at, to be in clothes like she is wearing, to have hair like her and so on.

Sometimes, I have had an impulse to actually ask somebody were she got that lovely skirt, or gorgeous top from. I never have actually done that, though, because I can guess how scary it would be for a male stranger to start asking a woman about her clothes.

[ErikaLeigh]

In my younger years I used to get the 2 confused, But now I would say BE HER. Although I would have to say more like LOOK LIKE HER. I have a lot of respect for GGs, and just love to see a beautiful woman dressed to the 9s, or even dressed down if its done right (not looking sloppy). It gives me inspiration.

[Tina Dixon]

Why not both?

[AprilMae]

Do her is first. Along with I'd love to try on that outfit.

[Ms. Donna]

First of all, I gotta say that I'm not exactly thrilled with this thread, but to each their own. It just doesn't seem very "ladylike" to me.

When I look at a beautiful woman, it's just for fashion tips. I don't want to be her, I'm happy being myself.

GypsyKaren

I wasn't looking to offend anyone and perhaps I could have titled the thread better. It isn't about not being happy being oneself, but about the nature of one's thoughts and feelings – and how they change - with regards to what is basically sexual attraction.

When a man finds a woman attractive, I suspect that his first thought is not “Wow! Look at her! I'd love to discuss globalization and it's impact on world economics!” This does not imply that mentally he has 'had his way with her' either. Attraction - sexual attraction, in all animals, has at it's core a drive for procreation and humans are no different. What does set us apart is our ability to acknowledge and process these 'base' drives and control how it is we act on them. We are not slaves to our instincts. We take these more base drives, process them through our network of experiences and arrive at a socially acceptable way of expressing them – and fantasy is one of those ways. (This is not limited to just men – women have fantasies as rich – if not richer and deeper – as men.)

I have found - in general - that CD & TG males (and probably females as well – I've just not had the opportunity to speak with any) seem to undergo a paradigm shift with regards to our reaction to sexual attraction. Where in the past we might have sublimated the procreative drive through innocent sexual fantasy, many now have fantasies of actually being the woman to whom they are attracted - to experience life as they do. It's not out of a 'dislike' for oneself, but out of an admiration for the other. It's not unlike watching an athelete you admire and 'wishing' you could be like them – imagining yourself as them, being able to do what they do.

The shift seems to coincide with our self acceptance. I had convinced myself that I was a 'regular guy' and consequently interpreted the world based on that paradigm. I can't recall never looking at woman and imagining 'being her' until I really started to come to terms with who I was. I came to see 'women', as a class of people, more as my 'peers' as opposed to a group from which I was set apart. Others with whom I've spoken have related similar experiences – the more they acknowledge and accept who they are, the less 'sexual' these thoughts seem to be.

LovableTJO said “Why not both?” They're both still there, just the balance has been tipped a bit.

Like I said, it's not about disliking oneself. Fantasy is an important part of what makes us who we are and IMHO, to a large extent is a motivating force behind why we do what we do – to make the fantasy a reality.

All the above is in general and I'm quit sure that your mileage will vary – a lot.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Angela Burke]

Well I would definitely not want to "be her".
If she was wearing an outfit I admired I would be thinking "I wonder how I would look in that?".
As for wanting to "do her", (I object to that unfortunate term), that would depend if I was sexually attracted to her or not.
I'm afraid I've never conformed to the popular idea that I should have sex (or rather pretend to my male peers that I desire to have sex) with every woman I see.
I don't want to jump into bed with every woman I see, there are actually (gasp!) some women I just don't fancy.
But then again there are some that I do!

[Nikki Dee]

1....wouldn't want to BE her...but maybe LIKE her.!
2....Yes, it has happened to me.
3....Male wardrobe doesn't suck...but much prefer my femme wardrobe.
4....Don't have body hair.!...never did see the point.
Nikki. x

[Veronica E. Scott]

To Do Her Or To Be Her That is the question?

Well for me to be her no but to be with her yes. Who knowes what her life is like it could really suck.But to be with her and develope a friendship and maybe share wardrobes now that would be a dream come true and Do her in the end.

[Shannah]

My sexual attraction is the first thing I notice. I guess that I'm in the minority here, in that I'm happy having my male counterpart to offset my feminine side. Even though I don't want to be a woman, I would like to be able to try it for a few days. When I dress, I tend to emulate what I find attractive. So, when I see a beautiful woman, after my sexual thoughts pass, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to walk in her shoes. Especially if they're sexy heels.

[jennifer easton]

I'm a be her, when the girly mag get passed around at work, they all talk of doin, and me right in there with'em ,but inside I'm thinkin, man what I would'nt give to be her!!!!xoxoxJennifer

[Helen MC]

More "BE" her than "do" her.

As an example I went out today for lunch with some friends. A very attractive woman of my age group came in dressed in brown corduroy trousers, boots, jumper. She had on a nice pair of pale blue panties as the waistband stuck up over that of her trousers as she bent over to get her handbag off the floor. Although she was past the first blush of youth she had obviously looked after herself well and was in very good shape. I found her arousing but NOT in the meaning of wanting sex with her but more how I would love to have her clothing, and the figure to wear it like her.

[Imogen_Mann]

The type of woman I'd like to 'be', and the type I'd like to 'be in bed with', are very different, so it's not something that happens to me. One type is "be her" and the other "do her", and never the twain shall meet.

XX

Jayme

[KellyT]

More "BE" her than "do" her.

As an example I went out today for lunch with some friends. A very attractive woman of my age group came in dressed in brown corduroy trousers, boots, jumper. She had on a nice pair of pale blue panties as the waistband stuck up over that of her trousers as she bent over to get her handbag off the floor. Although she was past the first blush of youth she had obviously looked after herself well and was in very good shape. I found her arousing but NOT in the meaning of wanting sex with her but more how I would love to have her clothing, and the figure to wear it like her.

I find myself in the same situation frequently.

[ReginaK]

1. I don't think that about beautiful women because I know I have less than a snowball's chance at looking that good. I think that way about the mediocre women though.

2. That's happened a few times. I can remember advising a few girls on how to get off fake nails, how to dry nails faster, or how to stuff a bra.

3. That's definitely true. I've ceased caring too much for my male clothes. Just give me some jeans and a decent looking shirt and i'm happy.

4. Most definitely.

[Michelle8]

More And More I Look At Girls And I Want to
Be Her.I Look At What She's Wearing ,How She Carries
Herself.I Wish i Was Her.

[Gwen]

Donna,
I think I get what you are saying. I have noticed that I don't appear to look at GGs the same way most "straight" guys (non crossdressers) "express" themselves. I would have to qualify whether the "straight guy" was acting out for the benefit of other "straight guys" or if he was actually representing his feelings. As a straight crossdresser I obviously have a skewed perspective. Or maybe that's the very point of this thread. I do have a more tamed way of looking at women and am offended when guys "act out" toward women in a crewd fashion. I've always considered this one of a crossdressers sellable traits. I think our insight into a woman's fashion makes us a bit more (for give me if this is a bit Cliché-ish) "refined" in our perspective of women. I just wish more GG women were "geared" to appreciate that.

[joni-alice]

Gee, guess I'd be wondering if she'd do me.
hugs,
j-a

[Amelie]

Gee, guess I'd be wondering if she'd do me.
hugs,
j-a

Ha, this is what I would think as well. I would wonder if the other person would do me. lol

Cool avatar Joni, I like it.

[TaraB]

i'm always one wanting to be her. Ever since i was a young kid when i'd see a beautiful woman i always would be thinking to myself "god i wish i was her" almost in a jealous sence.

[Amelie]

Sorry for the double post, but here is my answer.

1) I don't want in any way to "do" a woman.

2) I already am a woman so I don't really have the desire to look like another woman that I might encounter on the streets.

When I was young, I admired the punk girls on how they did their make-up.

[Shelly Preston]

I must say this brought a smile to my face when I read the title.

The first thing I usually notice is the poise and fashion sense of any woman.
Thinking if only I could look that good.

Some of my work colleagues always make the rather vulgar comment when seeing an attractive woman.

" I would not mind getting into her knickers "

Are they thinking the same as me [SIZE="3"]??????[/SIZE]