Presentation

[Kate Simmons]

So we have all of this "stuff" we use when we dress up that by itself is really nothing more than "stuff" until we bring it all together. What I'm talking about is female clothing, wigs, makeup and accessories and enhancements. Just what is it that we impart to all of this "stuff" to turn it into a viable feminine presentation? Technically even with all of the equipment. we remain nothing more than a "guy in a dress" right? There is that hidden element whenever we dress, however, that fleshes out and gives life to the presentation. How would you describe what that is?

[Jackie7]

Flashing off the previous question about whether CD is like cosplay, I believe I do have an internal masculine aspect that is dominant and conforms to my birth gender, plus a strong yet secondary feminine aspect that does not conform to my actual plumbing. Further, as a hetero man, there is nothing in my universe more interesting and engaging than women. I admire them, I make friends with them, I hang with them and observe them and savor them. It is my masculine aspect that is drawn to women and that notes and catalogs how women behave, it is my feminine aspect that brings all that stuff together into a coherent presentation that emulates the women I so admire.

As another view of your question, after a few days en femme I sometimes reach a breaking point with all that stuff, I mean en drab it's shaving only sometimes and jumping into panties, bra and cami, trousers, shirt and sweater, shoes and hat, sunglasses wallet phone and keys and go. Doesn't matter if any of it matches, though I do take secret pleasure in choosing girl undies the same color as my guy shirt. But en femme it's a lot more to keep track of, maintain, and get right: wig, forms, hip pads, pantyhose or stockings, dress accessories such as scarves and matching belts, jewelry, nail polish, makeup, purse with travel makeup, sensible shoes for walking plus heels to wear when I get there, and oh my what am I forgetting this time?

En guy I can be as sloppy and unkempt as my sweetie will tolerate, including that olive-oil stain on my shirt front. En femme I am like my mother, fastidious and perfectly neat, nothing stained or rumbled or tattered. If I leave the house and discover tiny pizza drool on my blouse, I'm turning around to go back home and change.

[ashleymcculloch90]

attitude and heart.

We care about it so we put everything we have into dressing. Because we are men we can focus on a single task and nothing else. At least for me when I am getting ready nothing else matters, both femme or drab (although drab outing is just to get out the door to be on time, say for work)

-Ashley

[Alice Torn]

I think Jackie said it a lot for me, too. But, when i am in guy mode, i almost resent my lady side, and when in lady mode, i resent my guy side, sometimes, not all the time. I am going toward accepting that i have estrogen in me, and the dreaded testosterone in me, a little lady, in the guy. I know you Kate talk of integrating the feelings, and accepting them. When in guy mode, i work on my car,and bicycles, and do dirty , grimy work, and when i dress, am the opposite. Ying and Yang? I think my religious teaching always conflicts me, too, about dressing in women's clothes. Presentation? Like a model car or plane, all the parts, ( dress, skirts, tops, hose, heels, wig, makeup, glasses, pearls, broach, earrings, perfume) put together well, make an semblance of an attractive lady. But, not the voice, huge hands, huge feet!

[Kate Simmons]

On the other side of the coin, we have to make sure we don't look too good, at least I do, lest some guy falls for me as Ericka which as happened. That being the case I purposely omit something so others have no doubt who I am. It is putting our heart into it though as Ashley said. That is what makes it a part of us.

[Alice Torn]

Kate, This is true. I have had men wanting me, from videos and pics of mine, and even wanting to marry! Maybe i better do that too, and leave no doubt what is under the lady stuff!

[Sarah Doepner]

Desire and respect.

The desire to go forth differently, respecting the goal we strive for. To wear the "stuff" without desire to emulate that female version of ourself and we remain a guy in a dress. If we have the desire, but don't respect women, then the result is either parody or a focus on sexuality. I know there is more, but that may be the core to it for me.

[carhill2mn]

I disagree that "we remain nothing more than a "guy in a dress"". In my case, at least, the "hidden element" that fleshes out my presentation is the intent and effort to put forth the best womanly image and attitude that I can. I do not see myself as a guy in a dress but rather, as someone playing the role of a woman to the best of my ability. I think this is demonstrated by the fact that I am accepted as a woman by those with whom I interact.

[Eringirl]

Gestalt theory: the whole is more than the sum of the parts.

Erin

[Lorileah]

So we have all of this "stuff" we use when we dress up that by itself is really nothing more than "stuff" until we bring it all together.

That is about the most profound statement I have seen here in a long time.

Technically even with all of the equipment. we remain nothing more than a "guy in a dress" right?

I guess I will disagree with this. There is a change in who I am and that person isn't a "guy in a dress" even if the anatomy says so. I know there are people here who will defend that statement to the death, but they really don't live up to it by doing ALL the same things while dressed that they do while in drab (you know the things...all the macho things that "Make a man")

Since we all are different, technically unless you are talking "parts", some people become the woman they see in the mirror even if it is a short term thing. They ARE the woman.

[docrobbysherry]

I call mine a, "Female Illusion". Because, as u said so succinctly, I am a man in a dress. I just don't want to SEE him.

Since I'm a closet dresser I only have to fool myself. I don't care what others think. When I go out in vanilla land, it's not because I want to!

[Ressie]

that hidden element whenever we dress, however, that fleshes out and gives life to the presentation. How would you describe what that is?

A lot of it's in the details isn't it? Picking out outfits that actually match, getting down the art of applying makeup, getting that attitude across because you truly feel feminine, etc.

[Kate Simmons]

I wasn't really saying we are a "guy in a dress" when we dress up just if you want to get technical because I know better. I have to agree with Erin in that the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts and Lori in that for a while at least we ARE the woman we are portraying. Keep the comments and observations coming my friends.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is personality.

[Debra Russell]

When I dress I feel I am the woman that has come together from all my "stuff" and when I change I feel as though a part of me is put away - sequestered until the next opportunity arrives. "guy in a dress" - tell it to her.............................Debra

[kimdl93]

I never have to worry about looking too good. If I could present as totally, convincingly and passably female, I would do so. And everything I do with the various tools at my disposal is aimed at getting as close to that ideal as my limitations will allow.

[gennee]

I've always passed well however over the past couple of years I'm viewed as a woman. Whenever I'm with my spouse we're seen as two ladies. The combination of being comfortable in my own skin and the mannerisms I display help pull it off.

[Sophie Yang]

Kate,

Creativity, self expression, and a great sense of accomplishment, sometimes, at the finished product is how I would describe it. I suspect it is very similar to any artist who finishes a piece or performance. We probably experience what thespians experience after an exceptional play performance. They feed off the audiences reactions just as many of us feed off the interactions with the general public.

[Leslie Langford]

Flashing off the previous question about whether CD is like cosplay, I believe I do have an internal masculine aspect that is dominant and conforms to my birth gender, plus a strong yet secondary feminine aspect that does not conform to my actual plumbing. Further, as a hetero man, there is nothing in my universe more interesting and engaging than women. I admire them, I make friends with them, I hang with them and observe them and savor them. It is my masculine aspect that is drawn to women and that notes and catalogs how women behave, it is my feminine aspect that brings all that stuff together into a coherent presentation that emulates the women I so admire.

As another view of your question, after a few days en femme I sometimes reach a breaking point with all that stuff, I mean en drab it's shaving only sometimes and jumping into panties, bra and cami, trousers, shirt and sweater, shoes and hat, sunglasses wallet phone and keys and go. Doesn't matter if any of it matches, though I do take secret pleasure in choosing girl undies the same color as my guy shirt. But en femme it's a lot more to keep track of, maintain, and get right: wig, forms, hip pads, pantyhose or stockings, dress accessories such as scarves and matching belts, jewelry, nail polish, makeup, purse with travel makeup, sensible shoes for walking plus heels to wear when I get there, and oh my what am I forgetting this time?

En guy I can be as sloppy and unkempt as my sweetie will tolerate, including that olive-oil stain on my shirt front. En femme I am like my mother, fastidious and perfectly neat, nothing stained or rumbled or tattered. If I leave the house and discover tiny pizza drool on my blouse, I'm turning around to go back home and change.

Well said, Jackie, and I feel much the same way.

My "guy side" and "Leslie" in many ways have two distinct personalities - it's almost as if two separate entities are inhabiting my physical body, and I see the world through two different sets of eyes depending which mode I am in. I've often wondered if crossdressing is some form of schizophrenia, or at least a condition related to it...

Either way, I don't hate my "man parts" as some people on the TG spectrum seem to, but at the same time, I don't let them define me or rule me either the way "real" men often do...

[suchacutie]

Kate, I thought about this from the point of view of putting all the "stuff" on a mannequin. We could dress it up, add makeup, give it the best figure and physical 'look', but until we breathe life into it, it is nothing but a potentially pretty picture. There has to be humanity behind it, and in our case, IF we are trying to bring out a feminine self lurking in the recesses of our brains (some aren't, as some threads indicate), the qualities of that feminine person come to the fore.

And THAT is where the complexity begins. In my case we had no idea who this feminine person was, so there was a lot of trial and error and learning. In the end, her movement, opinions, likes and dislikes, and choices all began to become clearer. However, what was absolutely amazing was the feedback of her experiences into herself, and the amplification that this feedback provided. There were times when Tina arrived only because we had planned for it, and the emotional factor that was sometimes present wasn't there at the beginning of an evening, but she could feel it build and in very short order the person we know as "Tina" had appeared, with all her feminine humanity flowing through her.

Changing genders is a completely fascinating experience!

[charlenesomeone]

Changing is fascinating! I know sometimes when girl time is short, it seems like work, but once
the forms are on, the wig, the girl is here and enjoyed for whatever amount of time.
Some of the "stuff" has a greater effect than others. Love full makeup but lipstick can do it.
Whatever it is, if you feel "girly", that's what matters, and that it makes you smile.
Hugs

[Teresa]

Kate,
I guess it's like a woman sees something in the racks and tries it on ! If the dress suits her it comes to life, if not she puts it back on the rack ! Why should it be any different for us ? I can never dress now without using forms, the clothes don't come to life unless the shape looks right ! I can ignore no makeup and wig as long as the rest satisfies the mind !

[Lynn Marie]

Putting everything together takes me about 2 hours. In the last 15 minutes of this process I don my wig, give my head a shake, and this completes the "transition" to girl. I smile, and a classy old broad smiles back ready for an evening out or anything else. It's not a "total transformation", I'm still in there, there's just "more" of the best of me! Now I get to be an "equal opportunity flirt". How cool is that?

[flatlander_48]

I would say that every piece of the "stuff" has a role to play and adds something. Each element by itself wouldn't do much. It would only tend to attract odd atttention. However, as I go through the process of dressing, each element begins to change me. My masculine sensibilities are still in place, but they become obscured by a feminine veneer. The behaviors change also as I become more conscious of the appearance of what I'm doing. For example, if I'm wearing a dress or a skirt, I don't just jump out of my car. I think about it and try to do it properly. I don't want someone walking by to think "Cool, lavender panties!".

Anyway, perhaps the analogy would be doing a painting on a canvas. You start with a blank canvas and add brush strokes. In isolation, a given stroke probably won't mean much. However, when completed and taken in aggregate, it becomes something yet again...

[CynthiaD]

I believe that clothing is a way of expressing how we feel about ourselves. Even when we just jerk on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, it still says something about how we feel inside. When I dress en femme, I look in the mirror and say to myself, "That's the real me!" If I didn't feel that way, I wouldn't bother.