I have still to let her know?

[betty glasgow]

hi i have still to let my woman know that i enjoy it. how do i let her know without hurting her xx b

[swiss_susan]

But honestly I would suggest.

Maybe try to feel out how she feels about CD'ing. When I told my SO I pretty much just went ahaead and told her. And lucky for me she took it very well.

Hope it goes well for you.

Susan

[_Sheli_]

YES! you have to let her know
It might hurt like H to be rejected , but to hide it and become totaly in the closet is no fun either! I know from past expierence that just BLURTING out with it is not the way I would go about it!
You need to let her know that in NO way does this "THING" you do take from the love and understanding that you have for her! In fact it should be just the opposit! By you having TG issues and Ideas, it should be a starting point of a wonderfull friendship and relationship!
I have heard many times from GG's that one never has enough girl friends!
I dont know where your wants and desires come in , but they are still part of the person that your SO fell in love with!

HUGS! Sheli

[Nikki Dee]

hi i have still to let my woman know that i enjoy it. how do i let her know without hurting her xx b

There is no truthful answer to that Betty...only you know your woman..if there was a guaranteed way...then we would all share it willingly...I took the "risk" and told...and it worked out for me...in time...if you do tell then you have to accept all that comes with it...good or bad...you can't put the Genie back in the bottle.!!. I can only wish you luck and hopes for good result.!!. most of us understand your dilemma love...so do let us know how things go when and if you can/want....Best wishes....Nikki. xx

[Dixie Darling]

Betty, you're on the right track in researching crossdressing. I would suggest preparing some printed documentation from sources that accurately explains crossdressing (as well as it CAN be explained). Avoid material dealing transsexality since that seems to be the greatest fear of GGs who discover that their husband is a crossdresser. Once you have the material assembled and are satisfied with its contents, put it in a secure location where you have ready access to it when the time comes that you NEED it. Then, as others have already suggested, "feel out" how your partner views crosdressing and work from there. If/when she comments on it you should be able to form an opinion as to what HER opinions are about it and make a decision as to what course of action to take.

It's VERY important that you tell her (as opposed to her possibly walking in on you while you're dressed, or finding your feminine things by accident). At least that way she will understand that this is something that you WANTED her to know about enough to bite the bullet and tell her. It's far better for her to find out that way than to discover it on her own since she'll assume that if you've hidden it from her all this time, what else might you be hiding.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[betty glasgow]

hi thanks girls will take it all on board and try put it to paper.then test the water with my good lady .will keep all posted when the time comes <not if> xx b

[tara 24-7]

the very best of irish luck to you, hope it all gos well, but take it slowly, my s.o. knew from day 1, i told her i had the very same pair of court shoes as her on the first date, honesty is the best policy, good luck, kisses tara, xxxxxx

[KellyT]

I gave my wife a letter. Sounds a bit of a cop out but I gave it to her personally. I texted her before I came home telling her I had something to discuss, nothing serious, (I didn't want her to think I was gonna announce an affair or anything else like that). The reason for texting was I knew she'd prompt me in to telling her. I written countless letters and always chickened out. I felt the letter to be the best way as it gave me time to put in all that I wanted and explain myself in a calmer way than I would've if I just blurted it all out. It worked. She was very understanding, she actually said she was relieved it was just that. She thought i was gonna tell her I was gay. I still feel very nervous about talking to her about it now, we haven't really said much since I told her last October, but I reckon taking things slow and easy is the best route now. I'm over the hardest bit, but it is still very hard. I want to take things really fast, but i've got to realise it's gonna take time.
The thing I find hardest to come to terms with myself is my own feelings of guilt. I've spent so much of my life trying to hide and deny my girly side that I beat myself up about it a lot. I feel guilty that i'm not the macho guy she expected to marry. She put me right on that one saying she married me because I wasn't macho. She didn't know of my girly side at that point, but she said she loved how i was caring and tender, really interested in how she looked and could offer advice on what to wear. She liked that I loved clothes shopping, was artistic and could cry at a film. I always used to be embarrased about alll these things, but she said she'd never met a man like it before.

Take it slow and easy, but be honest. If your relationship is loving and honest, then she'll love you as a person and not just an appearance. She may be confused and hurt but she'll stick by you and you may even find you grow closer.

[Atomhype]

From a GG POV. My ex partner didn't tell me, I found out by my own discovery just before our breakup though I never told him I knew about it and have kept his secret. It was pretty traumatic and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Dixie Darling has it right, she will feel better that you trusted her with it than let her find out on her own (and she will find out, we have radars for anything suspicious and we will snoop), this way it's something you wanted to share. Otherwise she will wonder what else you are hiding. She may even interrupt your secrecy as you having an affair, which would case her great pain. And this way you control the situation by making sure she has the facts rather than what her girlfriends feed her. And if she can't handle it, better you know now so you can find someone who will embrace you for you! So give your girlfriend the chance I never got to accept it. Being deceitful is selfish and self-serving, and no GG wants a partner who is has these traits.

[SherriePall]

Betty --
There has been a lot of good advice given here. Tell her, but tell her wisely. As Sheli wrote, don't blurt it out. I can concur this is not the way to do so. Gathering information before hand is a good idea. Be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. Even if the worst happens -- crying and leaving the room and questions such as "why, why, why?" things can turn around sometimes to a truce and sometimes to full participation. Many times it just takes time. In any case, good luck.