Who's come out to parents and how?
K, the time has come for me to come out to my Dad, and I hope those of you who've gone before me will share your experiences, good and bad and give me any advice you think will help me. Our family is one of those that never really talks about anything serious much at all, so I'm trying to decide how to go about this. I came out to my eldest sister a year ago and got no support at all. In fact, at the time, she said telling my Dad would probably put him in his grave. I was surprised by that reaction from her b/c I always thought she was the most open-minded person in the family. This is easily going to be the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. I don't want to hurt him, but I refuse to live any other way now. He has been asking me alot of questions lately about "what's going on" in my life though, so he's got to be wondering what's up. I need to do this soon though b/c I'm going full time in June and I need to have this behind me. Help!!!
Chrissy
ps - for those of you who remember me, I'm soooo glad to be back on the forum! It's been a long ten months since my last post. :)
Reading between the lines...
it sounds like the feeling is that you gotta do what you gotta do, and you can't really control the results no matter what you do. I spent the whole day yesterday composing a letter b/c I just couldn't see how I'd bring it up in conversation and my family is famous for changing the subject or getting up to use the lou in order to skip out on real conversation.
It's 3 pages long but it's in big print b/c my Dad's getting toward that age. I got it the way I wanted it and then this morning got into an argument w/ him on the phone about something unrelated. Then, I sat down and wrote another version that was motivated more by frustration and anger than anything. I fought the impulse to drive down to his house and stuff it in his hand today. Writing it served its purpose, but I still plan to use the first one. I'm going to see him on Thursday and I want to give it to him then. I'm not going to say anything to anyone else in the family ahead of time now though b/c I don't need anyone causing me to second guess now.
Cathy ~ thank you for your insights and suggestions. Luckily, I do have good friends who support me (including girls like you, of course) so that is helping me already.
Amber Dawn ~ I feel for you, honey. This is really hard. What I do know though is that I've come to the point where coming out isn't a choice anymore. It's a must. I just can't live in the closet, pretending to be what I'm not, anymore. It's time. You'll know when your time is, too. :)
Dee ~ I think you make lots of sense. Thanks!
Priss ~ The interesting thing is that I'm NOT the same person I've always presented to the world in the past. I'm ten thousand times happier, more social and more fun en femme b/c I'm not all caged and depressed anymore. I hope they'll be open enough to me to see that it's a change for the better. The friends I've come out to are so much happier to hang out with Chrissy than that sad sack they always knew in the past. PS - I remember you, too!
Maria ~ Yes, I do. No doubts. It's time.
Lisa ~ I wish you luck w/ your SO's parents now. I'm divorced, but always got along well w/ my in laws although they don't know about this. I think they'd be wonderful about it though. Still, it IS difficult when it's your SO's parents and not yours. I wish you well w/ it. It does come down to plucking up the courage and knowing when it's just better to come out.
AnnaMaria ~ I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. My Mom suffers from Alzheimers, so I know a bit about your situation. I think my sister would just prefer that I never tell my Dad at all b/c he cares for my Mom and his hands are full already. I just feel that I'd rather he knew who I really am now. My Mom will never know me now and that's a sad shame. To think my own mother d/n even know me for who I really am really stinks.
This is getting really long, but thank you all for your thoughts, girls. I'll post again later this week with results.
Stay tuned.
Hugs,
Chrissy
Guts it comes down to guts.
I have fought in a War, had Kids, Grand Kids and been through terminal Cancer. That said, I still did not have the Guts to tell My Dad before He died last year or my Mother even now. You'd think at 55 I could do that. But no way. I will not burden Her with that. She's very Christian Woman and I could not do that to Her now. She's almost 80.
PS Nice thred, Thanks!