I got my first rejection of acceptance

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09-19-2007, 08:23 PM
My Lady Marsea

I got my first rejection of acceptance

OMG Girl...Well it finally happened. Today I went over to see some friends (?) that I have known for about 20 years. It didn't seem like everything was right. To make a long story short.....they said they were OK when I first came out (April ?) and was pretty low keyed and I thought everything was fine untill today. They said they started getting uneasy as I moved into heels and makeup and my "boobies". Well duh, isn't this like some of the main ideas that most (not all) of us are trying for? To be ourselves? Anyway they liked the person they knew for the last 20 years better than the "new Marsea." They said they weren't saying they did not want to be friends but felt uncomfortable around me now. Well, my goal here is to be me as fully as I can and I am soooo happy lovin' myself that I am not going to make others feel "uncomfortable" when I am there so I have decided to just sasshay away in my darling heels,makeup and purse and get over it. Their lose. This happen to any of you girls yet?
On a happy note I spent about two hours at my local Merle Norman cosmetic store where the super nice SA gave me a makeover (although I put the products on so I could learn) and literly gave me a game plan. At least now I have a little of everything ,colors seem right,and basic knowledge of where to put what and how much in the world of makeup. For those who are still figuring it out on their own but have no qualms about going out in public and letting the professional help you I recomend this as a great crash course in makeup. Oh yeah...I KNOW all you girls are wondering what this cost me. Aprox $160.00 for A-Z but there are no twist marks on my wrist LOL.
09-19-2007, 11:33 PM
Jenna1561

Marsea,

Sorry to hear of a loss of what were good and long-standing friendships. Maybe they will eventually come around and realize their loss, but in the meantime, congratulations on accepting yourself and the strength to be you.

Those makeup technicians are really good at their work, aren't they? I haven't tried Merle Norman, but I know several women who swear by them.

Jenna
09-19-2007, 11:45 PM
sterling12

I think that you will find that people you thought were friends....are not! People who you thought would be dead set against your evolving....are accepting. It's a reality of life, what we assume to be true often turns out wrong.

By the way, don't be surprised if people change their minds about you. Remember that they are now dealing with almost a different person in a different situation. It's a pity in a way, your really not a different person, but so many people work only off of visual scenarios. If you doubt it, talk to someone who is disfigured in an accident, or due to a disease. You would be amazed about the number of people who reject/abandon that person because of a different physical perception.

Best thing to do is find new friends. People who will accept the new you.

Peace and Love, Joanie
09-20-2007, 06:28 AM
Carol A

Funny how people will except a fallen down drunk and never throw it up in his face put put on a dress and heels and people will have nothing to do with you. :drink:
09-20-2007, 06:58 AM
Marla S

Quote:

Originally Posted by My Lady Marsea

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"] Well, my goal here is to be me as fully as I can and I am soooo happy lovin' myself that I am not going to make others feel "uncomfortable" when I am there so I have decided to just sasshay away in my darling heels,makeup and purse and get over it. Their lose. This happen to any of you girls yet?

Well I know this "uncomfortable" part, but I can't actually say "Their Loss".
Right now it's my loss more than theirs.
This tiny word "uncomfortable" did hurt a lot and still does.
Hope I will get over it anytime soon, but I have my doubts.
09-20-2007, 07:05 AM
Marcie Sexton

Dear, what you had was fair weather friends...their loss is your gain.

I wouldn't lose to much sleep over them...
09-20-2007, 07:50 AM
Sheila

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carol A

Funny how people will except a fallen down drunk and never throw it up in his face put put on a dress and heels and people will have nothing to do with you. :drink:

Not all people do accept falling down drunks so that comment in my opinion is invalid.

Marsea
I am sorry that your friends feel uncomfortable around you, the loss of any relationship is extremely painful, and a friendship spanning twenty years must be extremely hard to face losing.

I have said before and will continue to say, being an accepting person is easy when we do not have it impact on our daily life, acceptance and tolerance for any activity that makes us uncomfortable (while remaining legal)is nothing other than being made to face our own internal fears and falling short of our beliefs in ourselves and our tolerance, makes us uncomfortable, so we banish that which we can, to enable us to continue to belive in ourselfs ........ hope that makes some sort of sense.

I wish you well on your continuing journey and that your friends will in the future rethink their position and wish to resume your friendship

:hugs:Jess
09-20-2007, 08:04 AM
Rosaliy Lynne

I too ....

have lost friends or made some few uncomfortable. Fortunately, the ones I lost were not true friends anyway so, while their loss was painful at the time, I got over it. Besides, the bulk of those I thought were friends turned out to be just that and that is all to the good. One man I did make uncomfortable is still a friend so that is good too. Move on and be you. Good luck.
09-20-2007, 09:06 AM
Toyah

Quote:

Originally Posted by My Lady Marsea

OMG Girl...Well it finally happened. Today I went over to see some friends (?) that I have known for about 20 years. It didn't seem like everything was right. To make a long story short.....they said they were OK when I first came out (April ?) and was pretty low keyed and I thought everything was fine untill today. They said they started getting uneasy as I moved into heels and makeup and my "boobies". Well duh, isn't this like some of the main ideas that most (not all) of us are trying for? To be ourselves? Anyway they liked the person they knew for the last 20 years better than the "new Marsea." They said they weren't saying they did not want to be friends but felt uncomfortable around me now. Well, my goal here is to be me as fully as I can and I am soooo happy lovin' myself that I am not going to make others feel "uncomfortable" when I am there so I have decided to just sasshay away in my darling heels,makeup and purse and get over it. Their lose. This happen to any of you girls yet?
On a happy note I spent about two hours at my local Merle Norman cosmetic store where the super nice SA gave me a makeover (although I put the products on so I could learn) and literly gave me a game plan. At least now I have a little of everything ,colors seem right,and basic knowledge of where to put what and how much in the world of makeup. For those who are still figuring it out on their own but have no qualms about going out in public and letting the professional help you I recomend this as a great crash course in makeup. Oh yeah...I KNOW all you girls are wondering what this cost me. Aprox $160.00 for A-Z but there are no twist marks on my wrist LOL.

Now lets see if I have this right, you have left close friends not because they rejected you and your dressing but because they did not want to see you dressed, seems a little more than selfish to me. Would it be so hard to see em in guy mode I really dont think it would would it ??????
09-20-2007, 09:18 AM
Sam-antha

I am posting an improtant phrase from Sterling :

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterling12

......I think that you will find that people you thought were friends....are not! ..........

I remark that this goes for any change about anything, from Cd to ??. Most friends and I hesitate around now, expect an unchanging relationship with you......"office friends" at work, in their political world especially.

Best not to change, make somemore new friends for the changing.
09-20-2007, 12:13 PM
My Lady Marsea

I'll dress as I wish...thank you

I left them because they wanted me to. It was their choice, not mine. If what I wear is how I am judged & perceived as a person that is shallow. I have been someone I did not want to be for the rest of society close to 60 years, I see no reason to go back as a "phony" to satisfy someone elses wishes. I have in the past quit jobs because I was not going to put up with wearing some stupid uniform (implemented AFTER I was hired) although they were happy with my job performance. I was not hired as a billboard for advertising. Here I am not going to wear another "uniform" for society. I did not come out for society. When I made the decision to be Marsea 7/24 it did not include entertaining anothers whims about how I dress.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toyah

Now lets see if I have this right, you have left close friends not because they rejected you and your dressing but because they did not want to see you dressed, seems a little more than selfish to me. Would it be so hard to see em in guy mode I really dont think it would would it ??????