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My husband tells me that if he could take a little pill that would make his desire for x-dressing go away, he would. I suppose this is one reason why I am often confused about many of the posts here...most of you seem to want more of it...is he being honest about this OR what? jean
I can't say if I speak for the majority or not. But I would like to be oneway or the other. If I could take a pill and become your normal average Joe I would. I just would like the constant nagging cding thoughts to go away. It would help my marriage to get back into healthier waters and maybe even no a thing or two about guy things such as cars, sports or how to get a bigger brim on my basball cap.
In all honesty it would make life easier for me.
Now if I could take the pinkier pill and go further down the cding rabbit hole but be totally accepted by everyone I would go that way too!
He's probably feeling more guilty than honest - and is more likely fooling himself too. Of course, there is no pill to "cure" us. I do honestly think that if there were, some of us would likely take it but would probably have to take it every day of our life. It is a very strong urge and the longer you dress the harder it is to keep away from it. I myself have never opurged (a lot do) and have seldom gone longer than a couple of weeks without dressing. When the opportunity presents itself I will dress every day for, at least, a few hours. If I get the opportunity to dress all day, I gladly do it. I do believe that if the things in my life that keep me still living my male life (SO, children, relatives) I would gladly join the feminine side.It would be pure bliss to dress and be a woman every day of my life. But do remember - many TV's just want to experience the pleasure every know and then. Like all people we eacg have our different ideas of how we want to ive our lives.
Dawn
I guess like Neo was told:
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Some of us allways take the blue pill. Some of us allways take the red pill.
I guess for most people the chance to merge with the masses is desirable, it is after all what we are shaped to believe is normality. In the social environment we have had inflicted on us I would say many would agree with the sentiment. If there was no stigma, no ridicule, then there would be no need to conform to stereotypes... How many men would slip between gender dictated clothing if there were no gender rules attached to them?
For myself, as I've always told everyone, being Lisa is so core to my identity that if you love me as a person, then you've already embraced it on an unconcious level. It has been with me all of my life and it defines me more than any flag or creed.
Would I take a pill? No, but then I've had to fight to be who I am, and the wreckage of my past would be a mockery if I became a slave to the binary gender principle.
"How many men would slip between gender dictated clothing if there were no gender rules attached to them?"
Try all of them. Women did so this last century. Most every women out there is a cd'er.
Yes, your husband is being honest -- and it's a reflection of the guilt and shame he feels about his cross-dressing.
People here have a variety of attitudes. Some want to do more of it, but also feel guilty about desiring that. Some are in pink haze and don't feel guilty about some of the things they should. Some of us have accepted our CDing and don't feel guilty about -- but I still wish at times that it didn't complicate my life. So as Tekla said, it's not surprising that some of wish they could take the blue pill.
Personally, I'd rather take the green pill, the one where society accepts that this is part of me.
being a crossdresser is a permanent fight between our male and female sides... when we feel the male side stronger and do not assume the female one (it happens to me regularly), we would like to get rid of this passion! but at the same time, it is always a great pleasure to get dressed en femme...
hard time to be a CD!... but I don't think yor husband is lying.
Florence
I can't speak for others,but in my case, I wish I was one way or the other. Full Male or Full Female( preferably the later) Ocupying this twilight existance is difficult. Your S.O. may not fully accept what he is and perhaps wishes there was a Pill. Give him your support in that respect, he probably genuinely wishes he could.
Sarah R. :bunny:
i think your hubby is being honest and telling you the truth me i agree with marlena give me the green pill so that i can be me :hugs: :love: :happy:
Dawn,
I don't think it's fair to assume that, just because he says he would get rid of the desire to CD, that he must automatically be feeling guilty or is fooling himself.
Many of the CD girls here, will happily fantasize about what it would be like to be fully female, and no one accuses them of lying about not being a TS. But the second one of us says they dream about becoming 'fully male' (for lack of a better term), in no time, we start hearing accusations that they're not accepting themselves, or even that they're lying.
To answer your question Jean, I don't know if your husband is being fully honest with you or not, ultimately only you can decide that. But there are some CD's who struggle to accept the feminine part of themselves, because they know that they cannot get rid of it... yet who still wish, deep in their hearts, that they could.
I have never been happier since I have accepted who I am. I haven't gone over board but have settled down to a nice calm existance with the two genders. For the first time in years I'm less depressed and I kinda like who I am. I hope he/she finds the way to acceptance.
Much love To You Both Joy
[SIZE="3"]Florance you could have not said it better, until I came out to my GF I was in constant termoil, so much that it was affecting me phyically. If the world was not so hung up on the split between the genders doing this would be ez but we live in fear of family, work, and friends finding out, and if they do, accepting us for who we truely are.[/SIZE]Quote:
Originally Posted by Florence53
He's not alone jean, I would take it with out a second thought also, as i have said many times on here. I dress because I need to dress, I enjoy it, and I like to do it as well as I can, I like look realistic, and hopefully convincing dispite my size (but thankfully woman come in all shapes and sizes) and I have no guilt or misgiving over my dressing it something I enjoy very much! In fact I have not felt and guilt over what I do, sadness for what my partner has to deal with, and maybe guilt for her feeling, but not guilt for my actual dressing!Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanM GG
However given all the enjoyment I get from this, if it was one pill and all over, Pass me the water!
I'd say he's being honest..... for many it's difficult being caught between two genders. But it's what were driven to do and don't know why. I myself have come to terms with it and am having a great time. Others are in constant termoil..... Not fun for them.
Love Karren
WOW! What a simply and perfect way to put it! 'caught between genders'!Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
It's probable that he's telling you what you want to hear... It all depends on your reaction and acceptance I suppose.
I can't speak on his behalf, so I don't know if he is. I'd say, think about your reaction to it, and your relationship so far. He probably is telling the truth, though.
Hi : Yes I believe he is being honest. It is a reflection of our society at large that looks for a "magic pill" solution to our problems. Communicating with one another is the only real magic pill. The urges I feel to dress up are deep seated and if I don't explore my "femm" side I feel like only half a person. I have an understanding SO and that makes it easier. I hope you both can work through this challenge Love Kahlan
All in favor of the green pill say AYE!!! I think the AYE's have it!!
Kathryn:love:
[SIZE="3"]:happy: We can all have different ideas on this. 0.02 Time even changes how people feel on certain issues. Peer pressure can have effect, sex and family life. I believe monetary trends play a part in how we make decisions also. Everything we hear, see and feel has a measure in it also. You really would do best to believe him when He says something. He knows his mind! Oh, and we don’t know him as you do. :heehee: [/SIZE]
Just go Hug Him and go on with life!:hugs:
AYE! Loveandxxxx, Lily
Hi,
I dunno if he's lying or not. Maybe he's just feeding you a line in an effort to convince you he's not gay. You're the best judge of his sincerity. As far as the green pill, that'd be great, but right now, it doesn't exist. If you would have asked me two years ago (I'm approaching 40) I would have wanted to take the pill to make it all go away. Now, I'm on the fence, as I have a great girlfriend who (sort of) accepts me.
Good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Yep I have to totally agree with Karren. All my life I've accepted I'm different to most men, never really struggled with what I do, I enjoy being male, and like being female for a while to, when the mood and need dictates.Quote:
Originally Posted by karen fox
I realise to I'm very lucky I'm not racked with guilt for needing to dress as are some girls, although sadly I have meet to many that are, and some that have suffered even more than that!
I suppose the only real guilty feeling I have is for what my partner goes through, though thankfully she has been aware of my dressing since the early days of our relationship, dispite telling her right at the begining about this, so she has always known, she still struggles with it some time! Hence as she is more important to me than my dressing ever is, thats why I would take the pill.
Thank YOU for all of your responses :) I agree with you Marlena...I believe my husband is telling the truth here because of all the pain it causes him and perhaps my statement was misunderstood: I WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW MANY OF YOU OUT THERE "wish" THAT YOUR LIFE WERE NOT AS COMPLICATED.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlena Dahlstrom
I have never given him major difficulties about his cd...rather I have been supportive...and he acknowledges that. :) jean